My son ran away to Europe when he was 15.?

Question

When he was 15, he ran away to Europe and no one was able to find him. It was a while before he start to emails anyone in USA. Lately my daughter have been telling me that my son has been considering coming over with his girlfriend. to visit us.

He's 17 now and nobody have see him since he left the country at 15. So should I do something if he come here to keep him here? I would really like him to stay and live with us while he finishes high school.

My daughter told me he is doing very well in Europe and is even looking at buying a house over there and have two decent careers. This cause my husband to disagree with me wanting to keep him here if he comes to visit. My husband says if my son is doing so well and happy, there's no reason to force him stay here. In my eyes, he's still a child and I wants to finish raise him.

He use to have a lot of friends from bosnia and Yugosalvia. So he got really into the whole things and like the people. He was also bored with living here. He's not easy to keep happy unless he's always busy and doing something. I think he was mainly unhappy because I refuse to let him fight in kickboxing competition and he was unable to get a ob as a photographer here.

Answer 1

Don't force your son to do anything because then the chances of you seeing him again are slim to none, at least for a long time. Just let him do his thing. He's not starving and desolate in the streets. He is prosperous over there. He can visit you, you can visit him....it can be a very nice situation. What a better thing then knowing your child is doing great, even if it is in another country.

Answer 2

Well, I'll be honest with you, I agree with your husband. Children are hard to understand sometimes but it seems like your son has most things planned out. On one hand, be lucky that his disappearance from home was with good intentions rather than a run in with the law, on the other hand, I understand that you miss him very much and would love to finish raise him but he really only has one more year and then he is a legal adult so there isn't much to do. He'll probably come and stay for the year or not and head back to Europe. Don't tamper with his emotions because I guarantee that you'll regret it. If he makes a mistake he seem sensible enough to fix it so dont try to derail him.

Answer 3

Your son is no longer a child. You would be unable to force him to stay and any attempts would damage any chance of developing a relationship with him. You also have to consider his girlfriend as well as his new life. You must accept the fact your son is an independent young man and you should tell him you are proud of his accomplishments. It appears it's been a couple years since he's bothered trying to see you just think he may never do so again if you attempt to interfere with HIS life.

Answer 4

Well, you should try to ask him to stay. If he loves you, he would. It is not a matter of forcing him to stay. You need some family bonding after being separated for so long. May be he need not stay for too long but at least just for a little while so that you can all reunite. Since he is doing well in Europe and happy there, he should go back there but not too soon. After your family bonding time, he can go back there. Then you can all keep in touch frequently even though he's back in Europe.

Answer 5

yeah! a mother's heart....it never listens. I'm too a son ,staying mile away from my mother...for the same reason.....a JOB with $60,000. but trust me mother , it's not so much fun as i thought initially. after working six yrs,at this age of 28...i now realize that i have left the most precious thing of my life,there in my country....MY MOM.
ask ur son,if he is really happy there.and tell him about ur feelings ,i believe he will understand.the most important fact is plz check if he got a real goodjob,there is many fakes in Europe, trust me I know.the age is dangerous..u can give him a proposal of coming home sometimes when there is a leave.I'm gonna take my mom over here with me...and i will pray for him ,he will do the same,

Answer 6

What was his reason for leaving? Especially to Europe and not contacting anyone at the ripe old age of 15... I think you just need to open your arms and welcome him.. Don't tie a love down.. let them fly.. if they come back then it was meant to be.. He has been independent for 2 years... he does not need his mommy any more... respect him and be proud of him and make sure you tell and show him.. by doing this you will always be a part of his life.. you will hear from him often and get to see you grandchildren (if you should have any).. keep your visit positive! good luck and enjoy your son!

Answer 7

Wow, this is a tough one. Maybe you should just have him stay and finish high school. After that, you should let him go. Maybe you could live in Europe with him for a year or so, just to see how he's doing. It will reassure you, and you will definatley feel better.

Answer 8

First of all,He is now a man.You just have to accept it.Second why would you try to make him unhappy??If he is coming to visit dont make it a sad or bad visit by begging him to stay.Enjoy every moment he is here and be proud of the man you raised to be able to leave the nest and actually make something of himself.He is Obviously doing well.Be happy for him.Good luck God bless;O)

Answer 9

You should have been a parent and kept him here in the first place. Why would you let him go there alone even if you do have family there? Also where did he get the money to fly there in the first place.

Answer 10

Well it's so nice to see him after so long.
1st confirm its him only & not someone else.
Find out reason why he left &
overcome that problem.find out why he feels to come back.
Talk over phone with him ,or mail him .
decide with ur husband in peaceful harmonius talk.
Then go ahead. Welcome him like never before.
God bless U all.