Is it possible for a born-again Christian, who is abstainent to have a relationship with someone who is not?

Question

I chose to abstain a year and a half ago as a symbol of my commitment to the Lord. My best-friend is not born-again but I think he wants to be a couple. We used to be together before I was born-again and we were intimate back then. Another time-Another place. I want to abstain until I'm married but I know he can't handle that. I honestly can't see this working under these circumstances. I really don't think it's possible. I plan to let him know what I think if he approaches me. But I'm afraid that telling him we can't be together may ruin our friendship. We have a great history together and it could work. But I won't fornicate. Period. What's your opinion?

Syb -

It's not that simple. Obviously, we have a totally understanding of what I meant. Of course it's possible (as it is compared to the black girl - white guy scenario). But I've made a commitment here, even if it isn't required of me by God. Assuming that you UNDERSTAND, and you probably don't, my question is this, " is it possible to have a productive, happy, fulfilling relationship..." it's sad that I even have to clear it up like that. Read Romans 12 by the way. Who's ignorant?

I must also add the following:
He is pleased and supportive of my "new-state" however I sensed a little disappointment towards my abstaining, at first. It was almost as if he felt like any chance for reconciliation was gone. Over time, he has come to accept my choice to abstain but NEVER talks about it. He won't say anything sexual around me. And if something sexy is on TV he blushes like you wouldn't believe and changes the channel. It's kinda cute really.

Answer 1

You should be honest with him and tell him how you feel about abstaining until marriage. You didn't say what his reaction is to your new state. If he understands, you may be pleasantly surprised by his reaction to your decision.

That being said, there is something to "a bell can't be unrung." Your previous relations with him will always affect how he reacts to you and vice versa. Honesty in presenting your situation will be the best course. Also you should consider that in the event you do have sexual relations with someone else before marriage (it can happen), your friend may feel betrayed by his consideration of your earlier decision to abstain. I can certainly see the "you would with him, but not with me?" reaction taking place.

Answer 2

I'm a born again Christan and I have done the same. But what you have to look at is your commitment to God. No matter what you think or care about this guy. If he can not submit to God also. You will always have that difference in your relationship. You making yourself pure before God is very important in your walk of faith. If he can not wait until whatever God has planned for you. Then that is not the man that I personally think God wants you with. Because I myself knowing as a born again christian. Know that I need to be with someone that is with God. At least trying To make a big commitment to God and to myself about what I believe in.

Answer 3

I say you stay on the same track that you've been on and let him lose--it was fun for a while but if he can't handle your commitment with God (which I think doesn't exist but that's not what you asked) then he isn't worth your time.

--Atheist Adrian

Answer 4

You should stick to your guns. If he cannot respect your decision then he isn't really good friend, much less boyfriend, material.

Answer 5

YOU'RE LOST. OF COURSE IT IS! THAT'S JUST LIKE ASKING IF IT'S OKAY FOR A WHITE GUY TO MARRY A BLACK GIRL. GET UN-IGNORANT. GOD IS GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 6

if he is really interested he would be willing to at least try for you. if he tries to pressure you into something he KNOWS you are not willing to do then he isn't worth your time.