I was raised in a home where homosexuals, bisexuals, and transsexual, were hated extremely. I told them three years ago when I was 15 that I liked guys instead of girls.
They said (and still say) I only do because I am an evil child, and did so to disobey them.
I am still upsetting them because I still like guys instead... but it is a part of who I am... I guess...
2006-07-28 19:16:39 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I think you were extremely brave for coming out despite knowing your parents views, it goes to show what a strong & honest person you are. All I can really say to you is that this is YOUR life; and it's the only one you've got. You have to live it in a way that makes YOU happy. I can only imagine how upsetting it must be for you to see how hurt your parents are, but at the end of the day THEY are the ones with the choice, not you! You were born the way you are, they chose to live with their prejudices. Don't try to change who you are just to please them, it will only result in your unhappiness. You are the number 1 priority in all this. Just be the best son you can be under the circumstances, so that when it comes down to it you know that you have done your best to make them happy, without compromising who you are. The rest is down to them. Be yourself & be happy - you have done NOTHING to feel guilty about! Good luck!
PS: Ignore the bible bashers... you are gay because that is how you were born. Don't let anyone tell you that it's an optional thing that can be 'fixed'. But I'm sure you know that already. You are perfect the way you are!
2006-07-28 19:34:18 · answer #1 · answered by tanja_christina 3 · 9⤊ 4⤋
Firstly I am really sorry. As a lot of people have been saying, I guess it's good that they love each other. But you said they also often fight. This sounds like a totally unhealthy environment to be growing up in! If one or both of your parents are forty-seven then they are probably going through a mid life crisis. I know you said you have told them, but you need to explain the problem now, in FULL detail. Even if it makes your feel embarrassed, hopefully it will give them some idea of your uncomfortable-ness around this whole matter. In fact, you could even read this out to them! You could make the point that if you got a girl/boyfriend, would THEY like it if you were constantly spouting innuendo and being disgusting around each other? Also tell them that you are feeling left out from what once was your family and now is two mean adults neglecting you. I'm sorry that you don't have many friends to go out with. Do you have any siblings, cousins etc. that you could go out with? If none of this works: Play music AS LOUD AS IT WILL GO. Really angry music too. Like, rock music. I recommend The White Stripes, some Muse songs etc. Find some music you really like, it's a great escape trust me! :) Buy yourself big headphones or earphones with a really good silencer... Make it clear to your parents that You Are Not Listening To Them. Apologise to the neighbours but blame it all on your parents. Hope this is just a selfish phase they are going through. Hope I helped. Good Luck! :)
2016-03-27 05:07:48 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am so sorry that you are going through this..it must be a very difficult time.
i am a parent to girls and i can understand why your mum and dad would be upset, but, i am not saying that they are right.
i would be so disappointed if either of my daughters were gay.even though society is more accepting than it was say even 10 years ago..it is still a very difficult thing to accept for some generations.
as a parent , you look forward to seeing your children develop and grow up into a healthy adult and experience all the things you have, including marriage and children. your parents are probably experiencing many emotions at the moment, disappointment, sadness, guilt...etc etc.. none of these feelings can be helped and i am sure that they would not want to intentionally hurt you. many parents would reach an acceptance and let their child be who they want to be and this may take some time. many won't accept it but, hopefully, will still stand by their child who they brought into the world. i dont think any of us can pre judge your parents feelings unless we actually experienced this ourselves.
there are many internet sites that you can research to help you and for you to chat to young adults who have been through the same experiences as you. join some sites and hopefully you can learn a bit more about the way they are feeling...and of course help you with your feelings and offer you support.
www.gayyouthuk.org.uk is an excellent site. (not sure if you are in the uk.)
well done for being so brave for telling them and i suspect the hardest bit is over. i wish you every good luck for the future. x
2006-07-28 19:36:25 · answer #3 · answered by *prettyinpink* 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to say this to you but your parents sound like total bigots, you are not evil for been who you are or whom you choose to love and I really do not know how anyone who calls themselves a parent can even think about calling a child of theirs evil for loving a man instead of a woman, are they the type that are more interested in what the friends and neighbour's think of them instead of giving their time and support to the person that matters or should matter to them, their son, I so feel for you been so torn between choosing who you want to be with but not wanting to offend the parents, I think they are very offencive and if I were you I would go out into that big wide world and do my own thing and don't let them give you the blackmailing tricks bigots like that do, if they can't support you and be there for you then you are better off without them, there is only one place for bigots like them, wallowing in their own pity, be happy.
2006-07-29 10:44:38 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a lot of people say that you are born homosexual. even if its a choice its your choice. it doesnt make you evil or a bad person. what you do in your life does ie:if you hurt others lie cheat steal
You have to be honest with yourself to find happiness. hopefully your parents will come around but if not then you cant change that. i have 2 sons and 1 daughter and if they were gay, then i would be sad for them because life will be harder for them but wish them happiness no matter who its with. i will keep you in my thoughts. all the best. you cant change who you are as person just try to live your life every day as a good person. good luck
2006-07-28 19:25:40 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know, my sister's son had the same problem with her. And my whole family is "old school". It's going to take time for them to swallow this one.
One thing you can do, is reaffirm your love to them as often as possible but if they're anit-gay it'll still be difficult. Sometimes you can change then old people (and I'm one of them, but son, sexual preferences never bothered me), It isn't a lifestyle,so make sure they understand you aren't doing it to be rebellious, tell tell them it's an accepted life existence. Ask them if they'd want you to be unhappy indating women?
If your parents aren't willing to accept you for who you are, and all else has failed, I'd suggest that you show them this question that you've written here tonight.
It shows that you care very deeply for them and are concerned for them by not being supportative and accepting of who you are.
Goodluck my friend.
2006-07-28 19:35:21 · answer #6 · answered by Mike B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly sweetheart - if this is your stance on relationships there may be no way to stop making them upset however don't focus so much on NOT making them upset but rather getting them to accept you - my view on homosexuality is firm - I disagree based upon my teachings however it does not make me close my mind to or shut out those that believe that they are - Just know that your parents do love you they just don't understand or accept your lifestyle - Also know that God loves you as you are but he loves you too much to allow you to stay the way you are get into His word and know for yourself what his stance on the matter is and if you struggle with yourself ask him to help you be who he made you to be - learn to be led by him and not everyone else's opinion of you and who they think you are - It doesn't matter who people think you are ONLY that God KNOWS who you are through and through - If you need help searching the bible email me I'm more than willing to assist you
2006-07-28 19:34:15 · answer #7 · answered by 2deep4u 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong in being honest with your parents and telling them who you are. You are not alone in a situation like this and every gay person made their parents upset at one time or another by telling them they are different from what they expected them to be. Your life belongs to you and when you are honest in your relationships, be it gay or straight, it reflects in your attitude. If your parents see you are happy, they will eventually understand. Be a loving person to your parents and you will be surprised of the many happy returns.
2006-07-28 19:33:51 · answer #8 · answered by montralia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't change who you are for anybody, cos you can't not be yourself. I guess I would say just keep that side of you hidden (but don't deny it) when you're at home around your parents if you don't want to upset them, but don't ever stop being you tho
2006-07-28 19:21:53 · answer #9 · answered by Fairy Jo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Plz respecting ur parents because their r ur real benefit's in ur life . u don't telling what u r doing outside the house be care full parent meet one's in the life but guys or girls meet thousand times in life. OK change Ur habits.
2006-07-28 19:31:45 · answer #10 · answered by fiazi k 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋