we're both 27 and she said she wanted to be friends,she used her dad as an excuse saying he wont accept that i am brown and i accepted it, but we work together,i tried getting back together with her but she wouldnt make time for me as much as she used to,i then started to not make time for her and now she wonders why and says i dont act like i used to,i told her shes not my gf anymore and cant have it both ways,it seems like she calls me when shes bored and wants to come over whenever she wants to and now i stopped her from coming over since when we get together and get intimate she says we shouldnt be doing this and then we stop, i think she wants to hang onto me as a 'just in case' or just to see if i still care,and makes up excuses to talk.we dont love each other we were together for only 1 yr and if she loved me she wouldnt have done what she did.when I ignore her she gives me attitude then says i hate her,then the next day she talks to me,and this repeats how should i handle this?
2006-07-28 18:28:45 · 19 answers · asked by Butter 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Honestly I think you already have a pretty good grasp on the situation. It is obvious that she is, in fact, doing the exact 'just in case' bullshit that you described. It may be true that she honestly questions whether or not she did the right thing in breaking up with you, but that isn't your problem. She isn't really being dishonest, but like all of us she wants to have her cake and eat it too. You said you already told her she can't have it both ways, stick with that. Also remember that by not choosing, she IS choosing. Good luck, man.
2006-07-28 18:40:16 · answer #1 · answered by The Lobe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not a just in case that she keeps you around. She quoted her father so that is what is really in her heart, that you can never have a real future together. The clash of cultures will not lead to happiness in her mind. But if you really think about it something as simple your lack of using periods or coherent sentences at 27 is indicative of the difference. I am not trying to be rude and it's not right but it gives a window into your situation. Best thing to do even if none of this is the case is to step away from her. You don't need it she and you deserve to find someone who cares and fits you both.
2006-07-29 01:43:59 · answer #2 · answered by jackson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Alright man in my book she would be known as a cock tease. In order to get her out of your head or system date other people and make it known that you two aren't dating and its over and stop trying to hook up with you unless if she is really serious about being in a relationship. But this situation happen to me many times and I just move on and start my life with someone new. Shes only going to lead you to major depression and confussion and you probably don't want that. So take care of yourself first and know what is right for you. If dumping her is right then go with your first insinct.
2006-07-29 01:35:23 · answer #3 · answered by Frankie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Drop that zero and get yaself a hero...
There are too many beautiful, self respecting females out there for you to waste time on the bull... Sounds like high school all over again, so leave the drama and continue on to bigger and better things, ok? Take care of yourself...
2006-07-29 01:33:57 · answer #4 · answered by calysa02 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds as if she loves you; she also has a complex about your color (which you know about since you mentioned it). Her complex and inability to understand and cope with it is causing the "unexplained" behavior. Work with it. Help her face it if you really love her. She might never fully get around this issue, but you might be able to help her resolve some of the issue by talking it out with her...or continue this way...it might last longer...who knows? :)
2006-07-29 01:33:54 · answer #5 · answered by navigate100 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you just nicely and firmly need to tell her that it's over and that the breakup was her choice. That you have moved on and good luck to her.
Remind her that you are no longer dating and would appreciate it if she stoped calling and coming by. You're aren't anyone's "just in case I can't get something better' guy.......
2006-07-29 01:33:10 · answer #6 · answered by DD 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wow you put up with her for a year?! You must be a GREAT guy! go find a girl that wont give you so much drama. Or at least one that gives you drama and some love:) hahaha Break things off with your 'friend' she has issues
2006-07-29 01:31:54 · answer #7 · answered by bickeo 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her she's a stupid b**ch and to go to hell. You don't need this wishy washy girl in your life. She's using you. Find yourself a new, nice girl. One that wants to be with YOU and not just hang out when she's bored. I guarantee you this girl is probably seeing other guys right now. In fact, I promise you she is. Get away from her ASAP.
2006-07-29 01:31:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dude dont listen to her ignore her dont hang around the normal places where she can see you and if she calls and stills bugs you just block her phone number.
2006-07-29 01:32:46 · answer #9 · answered by mamas_grandmasboy06 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hate to put it this way but I think she is using you for a piece of meat. She calls you because you are convenient. Don't take that crap from her. Tell her over means over. She is a user....ditch her. Good luck.
2006-07-29 01:33:32 · answer #10 · answered by Mav 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋