I hate being so insecure!! How can I stop myself from being like that around my bf!!!?

Question

i always need attention and having him telling me he loves me and calling me beautiful, and if he doesnt i freak out. What can I do to fight these dumb insecurity issues?

Answer 1

The fact that you realize you are having these insecurities lets you fight them. Just tell yourself that over and over for a few dates. Actively discourage yourself from asking for attention and make sure you realize this is your decision. It should help you feel more relaxed.

Answer 2

Yes, indeed- that is pathetic. You know,....it's obvious that you are very young. This is a game young girls play ...it's a power game. Just stop....focus on other people. You are not the center of the universe. Right now your bf might think it's kind of cute how much you want his love,...and at the same time he is afraid that if you ever stop acting infantile that it would be a sign that you don't care about his feelings for you anymore. It's a pathetic situation you both have created really...a dynamic. Your payoff is that you get his attention...and his payoff is that he gets to feel wanted...How do you guys put an end to it? How about getting a pet....to divert all that neediness to a creature who truly needs you back.....attention....feeding...walking...and loves you unconditionally. Apart from being loved by your bf....having a pet dog will truly benefit you. Good luck.

Answer 3

You probably have some underlying issues which are causing you to feel insecure,and leaking into your everyday lifestyle.Perhaps some childhood issues,or a few bad past relationships,or maybe some bad present relationships.You should try and figure out what the issue is and tackle it.Counseling,meditation,and keeping a journal are good ways to drag skeletons out of closets.Once you fix these issues with the inner you, you'll feel more confident about the outer you.Good Luck!

Answer 4

u have empty spaces that are your responsibility to fill up, not his. you are so aware and so awesome for even knowing this about yourself, most insecure people are a black hole for validation and not even aware of how much they can suck the life out of someone. so i think since u acknowledged it, 1-u must not be as off-the-deep-end as some insecure people and 2-u must be coming to a transition time in your life where u are going 2 be able to make positive changes, ie. not being so insecure!

my suggestion would be to get proactive about whatever you are insecure about. if you feel flabby, go to the gym. if you feel unintelligent, attend some free or inexpensive lectures or concerts at a local college. if you feel uncreative, go throw some clay at a local pottery house.....etc. the more proactive u get the more fun and experienced u are and the more fun you are to be around!

cool for you that this window of opportunity is open! change what u don't like, keep what u do, and make your life what u want it! viva!

Answer 5

If he does take the time to tell you those things that you want to hear, just be appreciative!!! He could be the type of guy that NEVER says anything affectionate to you, then you WOULD freak out. Just make sure that you keep yourself lovable and beautiful so that when he doesn't say it, you'll know that you are and you'll know that's why he's with you in the first place!!!

Answer 6

You just got to be confident that you no u look good..u don't need him tellin u those type of things..if he rlly loves u he won't cheat on u..if he looks at other girls then u need to sit down and have a chat..just keep in your mind that you look beautiful....im with him and nothing can go wrong..but don't think of yourself in a negative way..cuz their are many things that ppl can say bout u that is positive..maybe in the past you had some trouble with the weight..not sure..plz don't take that seriously..im not trying to offend u... or it could of been something else..that ppl kept callin u names..don't worry i was like that..but i got over it..i was way too skinny and ppl kept bothering me..but u no what i said forget..i have a bf and thats all i need..so just remember i look beautiful and say it with confident.

Answer 7

Sounds like you need to brainwash yourself. Sometimes shrinks like to get to the root of the problem, but that takes a lot of time and just brings up more problems sometimes.

So, this is what I do. (I used to have almost the same problem)

Decide how you want to feel. Reassure yourself that this is what you want. Do it for a whole day or two, say it over and over again. Like - I want to be secure, I don't need to hear ............ I don't need attention from ............

Now more importantly is step 2:

Now you say all those things with 'I am' and 'I do'. Sometimes it takes me a week to notice, but all of a sudden one day I feel like a whole new person.

You can do this with all things in life. Even bringing physical things into your life. It is your belief that creates. This is even scientifically proven with experiments on thought energy and subatomic particles. (everything is made up of subatomic particles)

Answer 8

well, first off, commend yourself for realizing you have a problem... 2nd, my first love was alot like you. she was a prom queen in HS, but her first bf told her she was not worth him and she had too much fat, or had too much hair on her arms and stomach (she was gorgeous)... so she was insecure, but was voted by her class as the most gorgeous and/or nicest person in her class.... so anyone can feel this way (even miss america)....so i would really advise you to read a book about self esteem (if not a few) and realize that he really does think you are beautiful (my first love thought i only told her that bc i was her bf and was supposed to!!- but i would have done anything in the world for her) it got so bad that it ruined our relationship bc the first time another guy hit on her, she developed feelings for him... so it can become a big problem if u dont nip it in the bud... finally, some guys like girls who are needy and are insecure, however this does not mean that you should strive for that type of behaviour or that type of guy! that is not healthy! you need to set forward steps to quell your insecurities and work towards creating positive feelings about yourself... if it gets bad enough (as in my ex-gf case) , u should seek a counselor... my ex was too proud and embarrassed to go and so she continues to have problems...if it is body image, learn about healthy foods and lifestyles...go workout with bf, ride bikes, walks, etc... if it is something else, think about surgery (there is nothing wrong with fixing something that keeps you from showing your true colors)....hope that helps!

Answer 9

insecurity is a hard thing to fight....its normal for people to want attention...it feels good..but you have to be careful you may slowly be pushing you b/f away....first off you have to find out why you feel so insecure...if you never know why then you may not be able to help it...find out what makes you insecure and go face to face with and and conquer it...just think of al lthe good things going on in your life....and just know he still loves you even if he doesn;t say it everyday...slowly but surely you'll be able to get more and more secure...you just need a little faith..

Answer 10

I don't know why people answer this with negativity and want to be mean... but I'll try to answer as nice as I can
you see, everyone has that at times (insecurities)
has anyone left you for someone else at any time?
if so, that can be why you are insecure now...
you have to try to let yourself know he loves/likes you for you and will not go looking for other girls...