How can I make my parents hear me out?

Question

My mom threatened today that if I didn't start doing my chores right, she'd homeschool me 'til I turn 18 and shave my head. That REALLY hurt me to hear her say that! Then when I asked my dad for help, he said he wouldn't stick up for me, because he's tired of me. And when my mom found me crying, she acted like I was faking it and told me to stop. Why won't they listen to me? Do they not believe that they can hurt me just as badly, if not worse, than anyone else can? (I am 13)..... I just feel like this awful, disgusting, worthless person that no one really cares about....

Forgot to add, I've only been in public school 2 years... I was homeschooled most of my life and hated it so my mom threatens me with it to torture me...

So you're all saying THEY'RE right, simply because they're my parents?

My mom singles me out on everything. My brother has even admitted to his friends that I have to do alot more work than everyone else around my home! I am also the middle child...

Answer 1

I'm 13 too. And feel the exact same way. I bet that my chores or much worst than yours though cuz my dad has 17 horses and my sister and i have to clean the stalls and water them horses every day and like never get a day off. But he does pay us. But my dad makes me so mad. And its like he does it just to make me mad too. My parents have never threatened me that they would home school me before, and i've never been home schooled before. So are my chores worse than yours?

Answer 2

You have to know that Homeschoolers ranked tops last year in the National Merit Scholars list and it is actually a way better thing than public schools. People are just plain insensitive. That is all. People are so concerned with their lives and daily stuff that they just do not have time to give love and compassion to someone who deserves it. our mom should be thankful that she has someone who does the chores anyway, right OR wrong. But, she probably doesn't think that way. People can be pretty messed up. Ever heard the saying "You always hurt the one you love the most"? Well, it is true. Another thing, sounds sort of funny--shave your head. Ha. Can you imagine. Sound like your mother was just trying to be a comedian. And, as far as feeling unimportant--know what I have always found to be the biggest help when that happens? I alway reflect on the suffering of others in the world and how much worse it could be. If you really feel unimportant, then another best thing to do is to find somone you like and who is bad off too and see if you can help them feel better. Then you will know that you matter in the world and that you have done the right thing by lifting up another who also feels worthless. Do that. It will help. Has this helped. Don't feel worthless. Your parents would probably kill themselves if anything ever happened to you anyway and this is just a way of not paying attention to you. 13 years old is a ROUGH time.

Answer 3

First off we were and are homeschooled (we are 15) and had no problem. Secondly why don't you do your chores every kid we know has some todo it isn't that hard.

It sounds like you really need to sit down and talk to your parents either together (the best) or one at a time. Be calm, well rested and make sure you have eaten and gone to the bathroom before start the talk. Don't say you make me angry, sad, mad or what ever.
Talk about how you feel. Say to your mom that when she threatens you with home schooling "I am frighted" or "I feel hurt" don't say you scare me or you hurt me.

If you do this and still get nowhere or are afraid to do this then get a counsler from school to help and sit in on the family meeting.

Nothing will be fixed if you don't do something and it won't help you to yell and scream, pout or not do your chores.

We hope that you do something about this.

Answer 4

Well, this is what I'd do. How are you about writing letters? Sometimes it is better to get everything down in writing. Explain that what they said hurt you......write down the hurtful things and explain why it was hurtful and how it made you feel when they said that. Write one for your dad and one for your mom. It is always a good idea to write 3 positive comments for every negative comment you make. Maybe you can explain to them why you like public school so much more than home school and how it has made you so much happier or reasons why you love each of them. Leave the letters for them in a place where they will find them easily. Maybe that way you can get your point across and will make them realize that what they are saying is hurting you. Then it may be a little easier to sit down with them at a later time when everyone has had time to think about things and calm down (and maybe mom and dad aren't as tired) to talk about it all. I'm sorry you are feeling so low, everyone has those times and sometimes it is others that make us feel that way, but remember this, your parents love you. At times you may not think so, but they do and they do care. Just make sure you are doing your part at home to and sharing in on the load. I know it can be frustrating as a parent to have children that do not share in on the household chores. Good luck! Everything will be just fine, I promise!

Answer 5

You can't *make* anyone do anything. Once everyone has calmed down and your parents have a moment, tell them you want to talk to them. Explain to them what you've written here...that it hurts your feelings when they brush you off, threaten you and make you feel invalidated. Tell them how bad it makes you feel when they respond to you that way. They may not realize how much their words are hurting you and talking about it may help them understand that. Then again, they may be going through some things and need you to take some responsibility for your chores so they aren't so stressed out. It sounds like things can work out if you both give a little in trying to communicate. You have nothing to lose by trying. If you reach a point where it seems your parents don't care about you, it is important to remember to care about yourself. Nobody can take that away from you.

All the best to you and your family.

Answer 6

I am a mom of three and I feel if you just do your chores then everything is okay. Parents get tired of hearing "I forgot" or "In a minute" because we know that you just didn't want to do it. And the reason your mom threatens to homeschool you is because she knows you hate it and she thinks that will get your attention long enough to do your chores. Just do your chores and you'll see a big difference.

Answer 7

Hear you out? Do your chores you big whiner! You should be glad to have a home to live where you CAN do chores. You listed no real problems in your question. And, you've haven't come close to telling the whole story. You've said nothing about your behavior and things you've said to mommy and daddy. I suspect you are reporting their statements out of context, looking for someone to agree and have sympathy.

You need to take a serious look at your life figure out why you feel so worthless. You don't have to continue feeling that way -- regardless of what your parents do or say.

Answer 8

It sounds like your parents are not very mature or that you are a drama-Queen either way I think the best thing you can do is try to act more mature and accept your responsibility's and do your best to accomplish them- don't worry about your brother or anyone else- show your parents that you are attempting to rise to there level- and even if they don't see any change , you will!!! You need to be more sure of yourself and don't let ANYBODY get you down!!! YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS or DISGUSTING , AWFUL and more people care about you than you will ever know!!! And one more thing...There are a lot worse things than being a bald homeschooler so cheer-up smilley...OK????

Answer 9

Parents usually say hurtful things when they are angry and frustrated just like I'm sure you do too.. you have to remember parents are people too and make mistakes...

I'm sure she is just frustrated with the fact that it is a struggle to get you to do simple things like your chores and your dad is probably just tired of always being stuck in the middle...
why not let things settle down for a few days, do your chores and everything that you are suppose to do.. then when both you and your parents are calm sit down and talk to them, not scream and point out each others wrongs, but talk.
Remember you have to give respect to get respect and it sounds like both you and your parents have lost some respect for one another!!
I know you feel like they don't understand you and that they don't want to try to understand you but they do sweetie they just don't know how!!
Good Luck!!
Just read your added details: I was also a middle child and do understand how you feel.. you feel left out and over looked!!
And that's what you need to tell your parents.. Tell them how you feel!! And help them to try and understand you!! It will get better!!

Answer 10

It sounds like you need to start by being calm with them, even if they shout you need to stay cool and in control. Hear what they have to say and take it in before you make your point.
They have asked you to do a few jobs around the house, you say they think youre doing them wrong or badly. If you make a concentrated effort to get it right they might relax on you and give you the opportunity to say your piece.
As for threatening to cut off your hair that's out of order and bordering on (if not actually) assault.
It sounds like a stressful place to live, and even though youre 13 you may have to take the high road and be the one to remain calm.
I hope it all works out or you.