I was buying a large bag of Purina at Wal-Mart one day and was in line to check out.
A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
On impulse, I told her "no" but that I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital the last time I was on the diet but I HAD lost 50 pounds before I awakened in the Intensive Care Unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is that you load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. Plus the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try the diet again.
I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story,
Horrified, the woman asked me if I'd ended up in the ER because I'd been poisoned by the dog food.
No..I was lickin' my ball on the curb and got hit by a car!
SmileyCat : )
Funny?
2006-07-28 16:18:05 · 11 answers · asked by SmileyCat : ) 4 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
lol!! That was good, why'd I never meet people like you in my check out line? Not fair!
2006-07-29 00:07:11 · answer #1 · answered by cc 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol that became humorous i just about stopped analyzing it reason i presumed it became gonna be grimy even though it became humorous i supply it a 9and a a million/2. no longer a 10 reason i think of I truly have heard it although that's a solid humorous tale!!
2016-10-01 05:18:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did that diet too. lost 30lbs. Fell off the back of the couch, grooming myself, broke my jaw and couldn't eat food for days.
2006-07-28 16:25:36 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hahahaha... good one.....
check this one too...
Joe and John were identical twins.
Joe owned an old dilapidated boat and kept pretty much to himself.
One day he rented out his boat to a group of out-of-staters who ended up sinking it.
He spent all day trying to salvage as much stuff as he could from the sunken vessel and was out of touch all that day and most of the evening.
Unbeknownst to him, his brother John's wife had died suddenly in his absence.
When he got back on shore he went into town to pick up a few things at the grocery.
A kind old woman there mistook him for John and said, "I'm so sorry for your loss. You must feel terrible."
Joe, thinking she was talking about his boat said, "Hell no! Fact is I'm sort of glad to be rid of her."
"She was a rotten old thing from the beginning."
"Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old dead fish."
"She was always holding water. She had a bad crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too."
"Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy."
"I guess what finally finished her off was when I rented her to those four guys looking for a good time."
"I warned them that she wasn't very good and that she smelled bad, but they wanted her anyway."
"The damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle."
The old woman fainted.
2006-07-29 00:44:33 · answer #4 · answered by MK 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Very friggen funny.
2006-07-28 16:23:01 · answer #5 · answered by Your hero until you meet Jesus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
After reading that joke I'm going to rename myself "Urine Idiot"!
2006-07-28 16:22:13 · answer #6 · answered by Norman Conquest 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol i heard this one a couple of days ago lol thanks for the laugh check ya later ♥
2006-07-28 16:55:48 · answer #7 · answered by ♥ The One You Love To Hate♥ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
HILARIOUS!!!! Way better than "Here's your sign".
2006-07-28 16:22:40 · answer #8 · answered by Denise C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
very funny... made me laugh and thats not easy to do these days.. haha.. thanks
2006-07-28 16:22:34 · answer #9 · answered by MelbMummi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
lol oh my you didn't
2006-07-28 16:22:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋