Please answer.?

Question

Say you're in a black family and you are the only one mixed with white and black, and yes you have the lightest skin in the family, and whenever you take family pics, you feel like an outcast. Your fav. interest is something opposite to what your family likes best, and you are often teased, bullied, about your interest, and asked why you don't like their interest the best. Whenever your family has a disscution together and you try to get involved with it, they say, 'you wouldn't understand because you are white.' You are upset, because your related to them so you are black too. Then they often say that you are not going to make it in life and that you'll spend the rest of your life w/ your parents. You try to do your best, but you've been really emotional and sensitive due to the death of a friend and family member, and an abusive relationship that caused you to lose your home and good grades in school. Tell me, what would you do? Please be serious and give me a mature answer.

Answer 1

well for starters quit trying to obtain their love and respect. i understand what you are going through since i also am black/white. my family treated me like something off the bottom of their shoe!! but as i grew older i realize that they same ones that gave me a hard time....well their live ended up nowhere and 15 years ago all they had to say was that my life was going to suck!!! well now they are eating crow!!! and it was their negative comments that pushed me into being what i am today...Happy,successful,and living a very stable life, and they wished they had the life that i live! so you keep your head up!!! and focus on you!!!! one day they may just be wishing they were you!!

Answer 2

Hello - I am sorry to hear about your situation. Throughout my life I have come to the conclusion that people who usually bully or make others uncomfortable do this to take the focus off uncomfortableness or because they are the ones feeling intimidated for whatever reasons. They feel the need to make someone else feel inferior. The truth behind this message is that these people are scared and by making the focus you, they do not have to deal with their own fears. Family, friends, co-workers and even complete strangers. Sometimes people don't even know themselves why they do it, maybe out of habit or what they were taught. If you can, sit down with you family and let them know how their comments make you feel. It doesn't need to be as a group. Sometimes just talking to one person at a time gets a message through better. Be genuine when bring up the subject, try not to get upset or raise your voice because then other issues can arise and then the subject never gets resolved. Sometimes people just need to be told flat out that hurts my feelings. I think it's easier to explain your feelings at a later time, rather than when the comments are actually being made. If you've done your best to try to explain your feelings and the comments continue, try to bite your tongue and make no comment when things are said. Sometimes when people get no-reaction to their comments/actions they stop. You know in your heart who the bigger person is. I know it's hard when it's family, but people are still people. Keep your head up and do the right thing - that will only take you in the right direction!! Stay Strong!!

Answer 3

Wow, that sounds like an awful situation. I wish I could give you a hug. I can not walk in your shoes, but I do know what it is like to be an outcast in your family and be looked down upon for being different. I finally just stopped talking to my family at all and I am 39. I got tired of being hurt and still trying to communicate with them. Did you ever hear the phrase nobody kicks a dead dog? Well it means that if you were really so bad they wouldn't bother with messing with you. The ugly fact is they are probably jealous. I hate to say this because it is soo not politically correct, but I have never seen a person of mixed race that wasn't beautiful. Maybe it is a sign of how the world would be if we all would stop defining ourselves by our race and if we all mixed we would be all so beautiful, maybe inside and out. My hardships have tought me compassion and understanding, and I hope someday I can use what I have learned to help others. If I were you I wouldn't waste my time trying to communicate with such insensitive people. You were born who you are and like a fingerprint diferent from anyone one else ever. You deserve what we all deserve and that is to be treated with respect. If someone does not treat you that way kick em to the curb and find someone who does and if you can't find someone who does you have you and treat yourself with the respect you deserve. Hang in there and fight for yourself and a good life for yourself. :) (spell check didn't work :0 )

Answer 4

I wished you would of listed your age---- that would help big time!
If you are over 18 - I'd suggest moving - find a roommate, get a place both of you can afford.
I hate to hear about my people being ignorant and saying things like that to you --- words hurt ----- especially those coming from family members! Tell them to their faces you are part of the family - like it or not - the facts won't change regardless of their opinion! Tell them you are making it in life - because you don't treat people badly and act ashamed of your own relatives (like they do)..... Let them know that if you spend the rest of life with your parents - you'll be able to afford a better life for yourself because you are going to be working and saving up money for the future.... If they won't show you some emotional support - get in some therapy for yourself and work out your issues there...

Answer 5

Sounds like your whole family is abusive to you and it's not your fault that your parents decided to have a mixed child.

Ask your family why you can't understand when they tell you that you can't . Tell them you'd like to understand since you are a part of this family too, and ask them to help you understand.

Your interest being different has nothing to do with your skin color, not everyone is a carbon copy of the next person. Let them know that you do not appreciate being teased and made to feel bad because you are different and that they are being prejudice against you.

Tell them their treatment of you is no better than the treatment slaves received hundreds of years ago.

Families can be so cruel. Remind them that none of them are perfect.

Answer 6

Sometimes we need to realize that our family members may not be the best people in the world and they can actually be bad for us. I personnally would try to make really good friends instead that I know I could rely on when I needed support instead of trying to get it from a family that obviously doesn't care or want to help me.

Answer 7

You're not an object that could be defined by anyone. You are the experiencer. The fact that you're alive and experiencing the world is a miracle. This is true of everyone. But people who don't realize it think they're supposed to be some way and if they are, you must be too. Don't let anyone get to you by saying you are or will be any way. They are saying a lot about themselves and nothing that matters about you.

Answer 8

Don't listen to the negativity of others. I'm sure it is hard, but you know who you are and their opinion should not influence your future. You will go in life exactly where you want. Explain to those people who cause your pain how their hurtful words effect you and do your best to focus on the things in your life that are important. You will be fine ;)