We have been together for three years and at first it was amazing. Slowly as this last year pasted he has lowered me on his list to under his friends and everything else. I feel like I am just "on Call". Whenever he wants to do something I have to be there or he gets mad, but if I want to do something on my day off he is with his friend (who he is with everysingle day) and doesnt feel like going out. I am getting tired of being the girlfriend when it is convienent. I want something more, but I dont know what to do. Talking works for a short time but then he falls back into his old ways, should I try talking again or is it time for me to move on? I love him but mabye loves not enough, Someone please help me.
2006-07-28 15:13:41 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
break up with him. it's time to take the next step in your life. stop being a teenager who only dates losers and be a real woman, start dating real men who will treat you like you deserve to be treated instead of staying out all night trying to act black.
2006-07-28 15:16:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in the same situation before and the only thing that i can advice you to do is talk one more time and tell him that you feel like you are last on his list and that things need to change or you are going to have to find someone who can put you first. 3 years is a long time in this day and age. When i was in the same situation it took me leaving my partner for a little while to get it through his head. And now 7 years later we are happier than ever and are living together and have recently gotten engaged.. Just listen to your heart and it will tell you the right thing to do. Good Luck!!! And always remember you deserve to be number 1.
2006-07-28 15:20:57 · answer #2 · answered by ~MRS. PILKINGTON~ 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said you've talked to him and he falls back to his ways. What else can you do? You deserve to be treated better. As a matter fo fact, for the past three years you've been dating I'm sure you've been there for him, meaning you should be top of the list. No he doesn't have to spend all his time with you, but it seems that he's not compromising with your schedules and only wants what works for him. That's very disrespectful. As for what to do, that's for you to decide, not anyone else. Three years won't make it easier, but it's almost a relationship of comfort and convienence.
2006-07-28 15:20:02 · answer #3 · answered by Octo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love is a main ingredient in a relationship, important one but it isn't the end all. All the other factors like respect, kindness and all those others have to be present. Seems he has been taking advantage of your love and you tolerated it so he went with it. Now it is up to you to turn the tables, start saying NO to him when he wants to see you, be busy in return, fill your life with other things, not necessarily letting him completely go, but my honest opinion is sometimes someone needs to see their own actions through another person. Just stay busy, don't be available, not game playing really but reminding him that if you are not on the top of his priority list, then maybe he isn't on yours...good luck.
2006-07-28 15:19:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He got used to you being around, thinking that whatever he can do with you, he can do anytime, it can wait, because there is always another day.
Does he even realize there is a problem?
If you want to do stuff by yourself, talk to him in advance, so that he doesn't build you in his plans for that time.
Try scheduling "the together" time, so that he knows in advance not to build his other plans. Make it meaningful, not just like "we'll spend some time together" - guys either don't get it, or think "sex". Plan a little trip somewhere, plan to do some activity like rent a boat or a fancy car and have some fun.
2006-07-28 15:31:40 · answer #5 · answered by Snowflake 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly where you're coming from. This happened to me..Obviously telling him how you feel isn't working...and if he won't respect you enough to change a little to better your relationship...you should move on because there is someone out there for you who WILL put you as a top priority..and i know you said you love him BUT as soo many people have told me..love only goes so far.
2006-07-28 15:19:37 · answer #6 · answered by heador26 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not sure that I would want to be waiting around. Live your life, if he gets mad - too bad.
He will either decide that you are important or not. And either way, your life is on track. Being at someone's beck & call is plain silly on your part. Don't you have things you would like to be doing?
Sorry, this guy sounds like a loser - control freak. What's to love?
2006-07-28 15:21:07 · answer #7 · answered by momma dog 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe the sad truth of reality is, he found someone else and unfortuneately finds you lacking. Save yourself the despair and break it off. Find someone else who will care for you and not just keep you on the side like a floor mat to step on. Good luck.
2006-07-28 15:19:26 · answer #8 · answered by C93 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Speaking from experience it sounds like he doesn't know what he has. If you leave him, he will find out..like hitting a brick wall, what he has lost. (if he cares about you he will) I'd say break up with him, if he doesn't even try to get you back, then good riddance. If he tries to get you to stay with you, there's an opportunity to voice your thoughts and feelings.
2006-07-28 15:19:52 · answer #9 · answered by hfmgr06 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have acknowledged that you are on a "List". You have acknowledged tha you are there "when convenient for him". You acknowledged that his friends "come first".
How do you not have enough sense to know when enough is enough?
Print your question and address it to yourself, mail it, when it comes back, read it as if it was from somebody else. I'm sure you would see how ridiculous they are.
2006-07-28 15:25:25 · answer #10 · answered by dadnnelle 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋