2006-07-28 15:08:37 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
Willys cynical thought for the day;
When is a pixie not a pixie? When he's got his head up a fairy's skirt, then he's a freaking goblin!'
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
2006-07-28 15:14:05 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
A married couple went to the hospital to have their baby delivered.
> Upon their arrival, the doctor said he had invented a new machine that
> would transfer a portion of the mother's labor pain to the father.
> He asked if they were willing to try it out. They were both very much
> in favor of it. The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters,
> explaining that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had
> ever experienced before. But as the labor progressed, the husband felt
> fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch. The
> doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer. The husband was
> still feeling fine. The doctor checked the husband's blood pressure
> and was amazed at how well he was doing. At this point they decided to try for 50%.
> The husband continued to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was
> obviously helping out the wife considerably, the husband encouraged
> the doctor to transfer ALL the pain to him. The wife delivered a
> healthy baby with virtually no pain.
> She and her husband were ecstatic.
> When they got home, the mailman was dead on the porch.
2006-07-28 22:27:08 · answer #2 · answered by wade5k 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
something funny....lol
The Top Ten Things Men Know "FOR SURE" About Women
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10. They have breasts.
gotta luv men!
lol =)
lily
2006-07-28 22:16:00 · answer #3 · answered by lily 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Snappy Comebacks
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the VD Clinic."
Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
Man: "Is this seat empty?"
Woman: "Yes, and this one will be too if you sit down."
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
Man: "Your place or mine?"
Woman: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?"
Woman: "It's in the phone book."
Man: "But I don't know your name."
Woman: "That's in the phone book too."
Man: "So what do you do for a living?"
Woman: "I'm a female impersonator."
Man: "What sign were you born under?"
Woman: "No Parking."
Man: "Hey, baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not Enter"
Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?"
Woman: "Unfertilized !"
Man: "Hey, come on, we're both here at this bar for the same reason"
Woman: "Yeah! Let's pick up some chicks!"
Man: "I know how to please a woman."
Woman: "Then please leave me alone."
Man: "I want to give myself to you."
Woman: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
Man: "I can tell that you want me."
Woman: "Ohhhh. You're so right. I want you to leave."
Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy:
Woman: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
Man: "Your body is like a temple."
Woman: "Sorry, there are no services today."
Man: "I'd go through anything for you."
Woman: "Good! Let's start with your bank account."
Man: "I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: "Yes, but would you stay there
2006-07-28 23:33:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
how about this if you look in the mirror you can see something funny ha ha ha
2006-07-28 22:46:05 · answer #5 · answered by Peaches 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why did the blonde cross the road?
2006-07-28 22:12:44 · answer #6 · answered by Pauly 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses.she started her class by saying,everyone who thinks your stupid,stand up!after a few seconds,little johnny stood up.the teacher said,do you think you re stupid johnny.no mama,but i hat to see you standing there all alone.that's my favorite joke.
2006-07-28 23:01:05 · answer #7 · answered by crazeyashell3 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A little boy came down for breakfast one morning and asked his grandma, "Where's Mom and dad?" and she replied, "they're up in bed."
The little boy started to giggle and ate his breakfast and went out to play. Then he came back in for lunch and asked his grandma "where's Mom and Dad?" and she replied "they're still up in bed."
Again the little boy started to giggle and he ate his lunch and went out to play. Then the little boy came in for dinner and once again he asked his grandma "where's Mom and dad?" and his grandmother replied "they're still up in bed."
The little boy started to laugh and his grandmother asked, "what gives? Every time I tell you they're still up in bed you start to laugh! what is going on here?" The little boy replied, "well last night daddy came into my bedroom and asked me for the Vaseline and I gave him super glue."
2006-07-28 22:38:18 · answer #8 · answered by bigbee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i only swig from the family bottle of coke when I have a cold
2006-07-28 22:15:03 · answer #9 · answered by ♥ask me♥ 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask & ye shall receive.
But not from me.
Sorry
2006-07-28 22:15:16 · answer #10 · answered by Ruthie1959 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋