Waiting to get pregnant after graduation?

Question

My boyfriend just graduated from H.S and has a good paying job but is waiting to go to college in one more year. I have one more year in H.S and he wants a baby. He told me he wanted me to finish school first, graduate, have a baby, get a good job and then wait atleast untill the baby is one or two and then go to college to proceed with my career. Is that a good idea or no?

Answer 1

Why does he want you to put your career on hold to have a baby...I think that pretty selfish. Yeah, I'm nineteen and have a 4 month old baby but I am a FULL TIME STUDENT....no way in the world I would put my education on hold.

Answer 2

I think it's a terrible idea. You are too young and inexperienced to be parents. You should both go to college and have some life experiences before you become parents. You'll be better for each other and better parents to your children if you get your educations and have a career first. If you do it his way you will probably never get to college. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it is the most likely scenario and having children is expensive. Get your education and start your career first so you can properly provide for your family.

This boyfriend seems to be a bit controlling and isn't giving you much of a say in what you do with your life and your body. I'd say leave him now and go to college to find out what YOU want out of life. Then when you have done that, wait for the guy who respects you enough to let you make some decisions about how you'd like to plan for your future together.

Answer 3

I think it's a rotten idea.

Life gets in the way of plans, always, and having a baby so early only complicates things.

Plus, your boyfriend (not your HUSBAND, I might add) is basically asking that you bear a child and put your life on hold while he continues to do his thing.

You say he has a good paying job. What does that mean? Can he afford everything that goes along with having a baby? A safe place to live, diapers, toys, clothes, shoes, medicines, health insurance, daycare (eventually), occasional babysitters, etc.? Babies are incredibly expensive.

And they're hard work. I didn't have my first child until I was 31, and I still found it hard to be as patient and gentle as I needed to be. I don't know how I would have managed at 20.

It's not impossible, and I'm not making any judgements. But I know that if I had married the boy I was dating in high school and had babies with him, my life would have turned out very differently.

Answer 4

Trust me...at 17 or 18 years old...you're probably not gonna spend the rest of your life with this boy...and that's what he still is...a boy...you'll most likely end up a single mom...and good luck getting child support out of a broke college student...

Do you realize that if you skip out on college you're not going to get a "good" job, and in the unlikely event that you do, it's probably going to be one that you'll have to be at ALL the time...just think of overtime as a REAL possibilty...which means you'd never see your child...

And even where I live, the cost of living is pretty cheap and daycare still runs about 200 a week...yeah you heard me right...a week, so even if you could get a "good" job, that's 200 right off the top...are you going to live with your parents until "the love of your life" stops banging the whole sorority house and decides he wants to settle down??

Just do yourself a favor...graduate high school, graduate college, do some dating here and there to help you decide WHAT kind of guy you even want to be with...get married, and THEN and only then think about having kids...

And for god sakes...use protection in the meantime...I don't know about anyone else, but I'm a little sick of paying for everyone elses kids...I have one of my own...

Answer 5

Well let's see. First of all, if you're on here asking complete strangers over the internet if it's a good idea, it probably isn't. Second of all, it's good to wait until after graduation BUT that doesn't mean that everything is going to be hunky dorey because you waited a little while. My suggestion would be to get married first before you start trying to have a baby. If he loves you and you love him, then you'll both be on the same page and be wanting to get married. Marriage first, baby later.

Also if you wait until your baby is one or two to proceed with your career, then you are not going to have your skills fresh in your mind.. you're going to be in "mommy mode" and potential jobs are going to wonder why you haven't worked in two years. Believe me, I'm going through that part right now.

Answer 6

That I would say is a bad Idea.

I am would say think about this very carefully. Define good paying job? just out of high school is not good paying job. If he is getting paid by the hour and stating that this is a good paying job, think again.

Here is a simple solution. Can you afford a baby? How much money after taxes do you make between the two of you? Take that number and deduct Rent/house payment, now deduct from that utilities(phone, elec, gas,water), then deduct from that gas for the car, car payment. now from that deduct cable, internet and dont forget credit card bills. Now that is all done, deduct food for you, food for him,. Dont forget clothes and going out. now deduct from that total.

Do you still have money for Dr. Appointment? Diapers, formula, daycare, baby clothes. I am going to go out on a limb and say probably not. Does your guys good paying job have benefits? if not, quadruple those dr. bills.

Please dont make that decision, go to college both of you and make sure your relationship is gonna last, college will shape how you think and perceive the world and more than likely you will find that you and your guy now are not very much the same. Beside you still have to experience being 21 and you really do want to do that with out a child, even if you dont drink

Answer 7

It can be done, but it is hard. I had a simular plan when I was younger. I got pregenet though inn high school, I firgured by time I was done with school, my daughter would be done being breastfed and I could go to collage. Well, as it turned out, doing it for the first itme was allot harder then I imagined. I never made it to collage, but my life turned out great anyhow. I am a at home mom for my two kids, doing everything I can with them, my husband is suceeding everywhere, bringing in all the income, and we are living the American dream. Life has a funny way of working it's self out even if you don't follow the path you think you will. Make sure that you are financially ready for only one of you to work, no one wants another person on state aid, and make sure that you are up for all the obsticales that can and will come your way.

Answer 8

NO it's not!! Finish your education first. If you have a baby now, you are more likely not to go on to college. You may have every intention to, but chances are, you won't. Why make your life harder? What happens when you baby is one or two and you start to think about college only to find out that you're pregnant again?

Answer 9

No.

Who's minding the baby while you're at your "good job" and how are you going to get a "good job" without college? And then what are you going to do with the baby while you're a full time student. Daycare's not cheap. Use some common sense.

And if you're going to make a life decision like that based on Yahoo Answers, the answer is DEFINITELY NO.

Answer 10

While you are pregnant, he can be going to college or being at his job. Who is gonna take care of the kid when you or both go to college?

You aren't getting married first? Most people have babies after college.

You must be on drugs to believe that man.