Is it good parenting, in your opinion...?

Question

...if you let your kid move out at 18, only for the kid to live in a stable tack room because they can't afford anything else?

I'd rather let them live on their own somewhere better, or let them stay at home a little longer...as long as they get a job or to college as a commuter student.

That's just what I'd do, anyway.

Yeah...I can understand that. I guess I should say if the situation was that the kid wasn't into drugs, drinking, etc. It was just a matter of the parent thinking that the kid should be totally independent at 18. Then there's how we're seeing alot of kids come back home anyway...high cost of living & the boomerang generation...college grads not always getting jobs they can support themselves on.

You have a point, suequek. Kids do have to spread their wings at some point. It's just a matter of not wanting them to be unable to make it financially. They won't find to many high-paying job options at such a young age. And they won't have a long credit history, so it's difficult (not impossible) to get approval for apartment, a car, etc. By the way, I'm 30. I'm just wondering what other people thought about letting / forcing their kid out at 18, considering the high cost of living these days.

Answer 1

this depends on many different issues, from the kid (18 year old adult) and his/her attitude toward the parents, and what expectations have been laid out and respected.

If the parents are kicking the 18 year old out of the house, there must be some issues/problems. Reality checks are hard, especially when someone who wants to behave like an adult, without the responsiblities of being an adult, doesn't wake up to what a good deal at home they might have.

Or, some parents might be too harsh, but that tends to be rare.

My teens know that as long as they are in school (to a point...), they can live at home between semesters of college. As soon as they are out of school, it's move out time. IF they want to stay for a few months to save a deposit, etc, there will be rent and rules. take it or leave it.

Answer 2

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Answer 3

I would never force my kids to leave. There would be a time they would feel obligated though. And after a certain age the kid should be paying some rent or something along those lines.
Now if it was the 18 yr olds choice, well you can't put a price on the freedom the kid has received. Although there won't be a date of the opposite sex visiting the "ole stable" any time soon.

Answer 4

Do you know if the kid wanted to "just get out", I was misrable at home, and I ran off with my boyfriend and moved out of the state just to get away! (I DO NOT reccomend this, it was a huge mistake!!) I would hope this is not the circumstances. Maybe he just wanted to get the feel of independence, or maybe he did something that caused his parents to "put" him out. I for one would kind of like that rough living, guys especially like to live it rough for a while. I hope he like horses. (lol) I'm wondering if this living space was by choice, or no other option. If it is a livable space, and comfortable, I don't see why there is problem. I happen to know a guy who moved into a stable loft when he was about 17. His parents and himself have lots of money, and he just wanted to get some independence, learn to make it. It had heat, air, carpet, a kitchen, bedroom, laundry rm, bath, etc. He really wasn't roughing it too much, but that's what he wanted, his own space. If the guy is not happy with his "home", I feel for him, if there's no other option. I do hope that he is doing o.k. where he is. Is he the one doing the questioning? Or are you a "friend" questioning the situation? Best of luck!!

Answer 5

At 18 the "kid" is considered an adult. Not a lot you can do about that! I left home at 18 and I lived in some crap places, and I survived! Kids need to spread their wings, they have to learn how to take care of themselves. I am betting that you are not 18 yet or have not gotten the bug of independence.
You can not always shelter you kids, but you can be there to pick them up when they fall.

Answer 6

I dont think that is enough information to go on. I can imagine many scenarios where letting a child live in a 'stable tack room' would be perfectly acceptable depending upon what past behavior had been. Some children learn best from the 'sink or swim' method.....

Answer 7

Let them be, if they need your help they wll come back. Right now, they might not care where it is they live, they are just happy to be out on their own. They have their own space with their own rules, and something to call their own. Everyone has a point where they start out with nothing and will get something and feel good. It's part of the building blocks to life. They will be okay, just step back and let them go, I know it's hard, but it will be okay. Just wait and see how proud they make you!!

Answer 8

OK, I moved out when I was 17. I moved in with my boyfriend at the time. I moved in with him because my parents had gotten divorced 6 months before. My mom (whom I lived with), was moving 45 minutes away and in order to graduate from the school I wanted to, I had to be in the school district. With just my fiance's income, we were able to get a nice apartment. I got pregnant 3 months after I moved out. We were still able to support ourselves as well as a child. That was all on his income. We are both working now because we have a second child. What I'm getting at is it's not as hard as it seems for a teen to move out. Obviously they're not going to support them-self if they are working at McDonald's. I don't think it's bad parenting at all. Eighteen year olds can make it on their own if they try. I moved out of my mom's nearly 4 years ago. I don't plan on moving back in with her anytime soon.

Answer 9

It's a fine arrangement. Kids are resilent and optimistic. My cousin did the same at about that age and he has some terriffic memories. Some even with his Dad when they visited and grilled out. He said he wouldn't exchange the experience for anything. But then again he's a redneck cowboy.

Answer 10

i think it is a good idea. it gives the child a chance to learn responsibility. even though its in a tack room it doesn't matter to the child all they re concerned with is being out on their own. what freedom from the parents. so don't worry if things don't work out they'll be back home.