How do you tell someone you dont want to go to church?

Question

I am Wiccan and I need to gently tell an older woman who is dating my Grandpa that I dont believe in God and I dont want to go to church. I would appreciate it if only respectful, knowledgeable people answer this question. I am tired of being harrassed about my religion by ignorant people. Thank you!

Answer 1

Maybe you don't need to say it, just stay at home and don't go to church.

But if the old geyser is pushing on you, then you need to be firm and honest about it. Don't be too nice, after all if she's pushing her religion on you then she's not being nice herself. Remember, good guys finish last.

Tell her that you don't believe, are not interested, will not go to church and ask her to stop pestering you with her religion. Be firm, strong, confident, let her know that it's none of her business and that if she insist, it could severe the relationship.

You have to be tough.

Answer 2

Why is your grandpa's girlfriend telling you to go to church. It's not like she's your mother. I don't know how old you are, but once you're an adult, (and before then if you have understanding parents) you can choose whatever religion suits your own personal needs. I for one, am a combo religion. I have a catholic family, so I incorporated some catholic beliefs, I had a wiccan roomie in college, and I held on to a lot of beliefs from her ideas, I have baptist friends, and I retained a lot of those beliefs. I don't go to church. But, I do believe in higher powers, whether that's God, or saints, or spirits. I believe. Just be polite to this woman. Tell it straight up: I don't tell you how to live your life, and when to go to church, I'd just like you to offer me the same respect.

Besides, don't you know, there are two topics you NEVER discuss over family dinner or in mixed company: RELIGION, and POLITICS.

Just abstain. You don't have to answer this woman. Just ignore it. If she pesters, you need to assert your rights as an American to freedom of religion, and tell her, if the government doesn't care about my relgious practices, why do you?

Geez it's not like you're any more or less of a person based on your religious beliefs!!!!

Bless ya ;)

Answer 3

It will be difficult and you can probably expect alot of resistance and various forms of persuasion to change your mind. I told my parents the I didnt want to go to church anymore when I was 18, my dad was ok about it but my mum was very upset. She thought I was joking and kept trying to persuade me to do, using everything from bribery, and gentle persuasion to threats of damnation and huffing with me. I would do it a calmly as you can, sit them down and simply explain it. I would recommend not telling them that you dont believe in God. That will be very hard for them to take and they will be horrified and will probably put up more resistance. I would simply choose some fact about the church that you dont like such as you have problems with the priest/minister or find it does not furfill your spiritual needs. You could also say that you want time to think about which religion is right for you and what it means to you. I would also recommend that you dont tell them that you are now a pagan, again this will probably horrify them and prompt more soul saving behaviour. Just break it to them gently but go easy on the facts.You can fill them in on the details over time, not all at once. It will not be easy, expect them to be upset. However if you stand firm they will get the message. There is always conflict between the generations, each individual needs to figure out their own path. Remember there are many paths to enlightenment,they are all diffrent, but they lead to the same place,like a bicycle wheel. I heard there is a Wicca college opening in America, i cant remember which state, possibly illisnois. i will look out the article and e-mail you.

Answer 4

The more important question here is how much does this mean to your Grandfather. If going to church periodically supports your relationship with him, there's no shame in so doing. If anything (IMO) being Wiccan is about tolerance and finding commonality -- especially with family (with whom you have only a defined period of time to live and love!).

I've been Wiccan for 20 years (see: www.loresinger.com) but have found generally speaking that religion is private. You can find Deity wherever you wish, and however you need with a little creativity. And if it makes Grandfather's elder years happy and more fulfilled -- what a gift!

Answer 5

Honesty is the best policy in such cases. She's probably just trying to share an important part of her life. Tell her that you are of a strong faith, too, but that you belong to a different faith.

If you feel like visiting her church, tell her that you'd be glad to attend as a visitor. If you don't, leave it at the above. That should be enough for a reasonable person. She might ask some questions about your faith. If so, share away. Educate her.

The bottom line: you are entitled to follow your own path, and just as you wouldn't think of trying to convert her, she should respect your beliefs and not try to convert you.

Good luck.

Answer 6

Simple, tell her your practice is different from hers. You don't have to go into depth, or even explain yourself. If she's a good Christian (although highly doubtful...) she'll understand and respect your choice. Or maybe go to church with her once, out of respect and a sign of good faith. She may be inviting you to be nice, and your reluctance to accept is insulting to her. It wont damn your soul, and learning about other religions is healthy and always a good move. But if she persists, tell her nicely no thank you. In the end, if she condemns you, just let her know that SHE is the pety person for her decision, and that if anyone here is the sinner, its only her.

Answer 7

I would say something along the lines of, "I'm already involved with a spiritual group, but thank you anyway." Wicca is a spiritual group, right? I would sort of deflect any further questioning with things like, "well, our beliefs are a little bit different." Even if you disagree on religious things, you both love Grandpa, and if you keep that in perspective, hopefully the two of you will be fine.

Good luck!

Answer 8

You always have to be delicate with family members of different beliefs (especially the older ones). Just lovingly thank her for the invitation, and explain that at the moment you are exploring alternative religions. Give her a big hug and just say, I'll let you know if I want to come, and if you're really smooth, you'll agree to go to important family events (weddings, baptisms, whatnot).

Answer 9

No, many times, they do no longer inform you how to think of. Birds of a feather flock jointly, as they say. human beings attend a particular church because of the fact they already believe the perspectives espoused via that congregation, no longer because of the fact the denomination tells them what to have faith. many times, the human beings claiming that church homes tell human beings what to think of are nonetheless dependents who stay with mom and dad who surely do attempt to tell them what to think of. Adults who've been out of the nest for some many years locate the belief ridiculous. no person at my church tells me what to think of. in the event that they did, they does no longer have a congregation anymore. As for debates. for most of the Church's history, pastors served a liturgical function, no longer an tutorial function. It has continually been an prolonged-status custom to communicate periphial doctrine. while those debates get out of hand or touch on dogmatic subject concerns, the debates are formalized into councils, and the individuals of the congregation make certain which component of the fence they choose. And, of path, anybody is loose to circulate the two course, and the place they proceed to be would be in line with what they like to settle for, no longer what's forced on them.

Answer 10

Pagan here also. I grew up christian and "followed" that path up until I was about 30 years old. I couldn't reconcile pretending to be something I wasn't but I never mentioned anything about being Pagan until after my mother died. When she was alive, I knew news like that would have really upset her, as she was a deeply spiritual true christian.

After she died, I held my beliefs inside me until I felt my sons were old enough to know the truth about my Pagan beliefs. I was terrified about what they would think, the last thing I want to do is upset my children.

I sat down with them and after explaining about my beliefs, I answered any questions they had. I was very open and honest about how for me, it was the right path to follow, that it fills me with peace and completes my spiritual longing, something christianity didn't do. (And yes, I read my bible, prayed, worshipped and did my 'mortal' best at being christ-like.)

My oldest son was the one who had the most questions and the hardest time understanding but he respected my choice and now, after seeing how following the Pagan beliefs, I am a better person, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Just ask her to sit and talk with you about her religious beliefs. Be sincere and open with her about yours. Let her know that you are still a good person even though you don't worship the christian god. Explain to her, if she is willing to listen, about our Goddess and God and how being Wiccan is more than just a religion, that it is an everyday way of life.

What helped my son the most was reading a copy of the Wiccan rede I had. He realized that we try our best to "live in perfect love and perfect trust" and that one of our most strictest doctrines, so to speak, is "Harm none", which is similar to the christian commandments of "honor thy mother and thy father", "thou shalt not kill", and christ's teachings of "love one another".

I'll keep you in my thoughts and my prayers my sister.

May the Goddess give you strength and guidance. Blessed be.

Answer 11

Tell her that you would prefer to nourish your spirituality by doing other things such as helping people (or something) rather than going to church. Don't get into details, just say that it isn't your cup of tea, and you will take the time that they are at church to explore your spirituality in a different way.