I've been praying continually, but can't stop thinking of suicide. Does god want me dead?

Question

I've asked this before but only get unworkable answers. The last time I felt like killing myself, I told someone (a catholic preist) who subsequently called the police, who in turn brought me to a hospital.

They did nothing to help me there, only pumped me full of drugs, watched me and kicked me out when I couldn't pay and state assitance rejected me. They are now sueing me for $11,000. There are no answers for me there.

I got to AA, but have been completely ostracized by the people there. All of the people I know, also know my ex-girlfriend, whos is very popular, especially with all the men, married included, now that she's single.

Last night I went to a meeting to ask for help, she and others were there. None of the guys would help me, but plenty were available to go out with her for her anniversary.

My prayers go unanswered. I just want someone to sit next to me for a while. I'm trying againg tonite.

If it doesn't work, I have to kill myself. I can't take t

Tommorow is her actually AA anniversary, as well as the annivesary of the day she left me.

I plan to keep trying to have another person - anyone - i'm NOT looking for a girlfriend, just sit next to me for a while. Just to have someone else breathe near me would be nice

I have been rejected as many times as I have asked.

If there really is a god, and god loves me, why does he want me to be so alone when I'm experiencing more pain than i can handle.

I'm bankrupt. Jobless, but own a house, I don't have a single friend on the planet earth, and my family has long ago given up on me.

I plan to hang myself on Saturday night. This isn't a threat, or revenge. I just can't take the pain anymore. I'm constantly thinking about drinking and dying.

God help me...if you hear me.

Answer 1

PLEASE DONT KILL YOURSELF!!!

I'll Pray For You Right Now

" DEAR GOD,

Please Help This man In His Time Of Need. Help Him Stay On The Right Path And Help Him So That He Doesn't Have These Terrible Thoughts Anymore. Please Give Him Courage To Fight Off The Devil And All Of His Wicked Temptations.

In YOUR BELOVED NAME, AMEN"

If You Need Any More Help Just E-Mail Me

Answer 2

These feelings are going on in you, which is why it is so hard for others to help. What do you want us to say other than don't do it? It is a very difficult place you are in, I know I have been there and no one could tell me anything different either. All they could do was reinforce their love for me till it past and it will. See someone and keep trying to you get what you need. The government should get a swift kick for doing that to you 11000 that is a crime, I am sorry! You are not alone many have been there or are there. It sounds like you had family counseling, you need some just for you without others. I will keep praying that this depression will be lifted. Suicide is not an answer it just brings more pain to those who love you. I have read your additions, I lost everything I owned everything in one day all gone, furnature,kids things, the usual household goods that take years to gather. Not by fire or natural disaster, not because I owed money but because someone wanted it and took it all. Because the things were my personal household goods the police never helped but said I may have given all of it away! What happened was they went to the thiefs work , he was not there but his friends told him. He lay in wait for my ex-husband to get to work then they beat him up broke his ribs. The justice was my husband was charged and the group got off. I was homeless with three kids to care for. And that was the good stuff going on. I was so depressed I stopped eating,took lots of drugs tried to die, but thank God I was not successful. My death would not have affected this person at all,but it would have killed my parents and siblings,my kids,my friends. It took a long time to recover. Today I still have problems but they will not take me down anymore. I found the moment there was someone in worse shape then me I went into the help THEM mode. Helping others helped me live again. Share your experiences,it lightens the load, ~A~

Answer 3

Ok, first your answer is with YOU. No offense to your faith, but God in whatever form you envision can't do anything unless you're willing to do for yourself. The hospital can get a hold of social services on your behalf and help with that bill, if not eliminate it. AA is a good place, but it only helps so much. You have to make positive efforts on your behalf to make your life better. For example:

1. Have you found a secular counselor who might be able to give you an alternative perspective?
2. Do you have friends of family that you trust who will listen and then offer ideas (mind you, listening helps)
3. Are you ready and willing to be responsible for your life and your destiny? That is the first best step to self actualization.
4. Stop being so focused on your problems that you fail to see obvious solutions. You're using your Ex as an excuse. Stop it.
5. Find a good suicide hotline and USE it if need be until you get your head on straight. Remember: killing yourself is not an answer it's a cop out.
6. Get a solid physical exam to eliminate any possible physical issues that could cause your mood problems (there are MANY people who have experienced severe depression only to find it was something physical).

Answer 4

My advice is to really consider your life here, really realize it may be all you'll ever see and know, and that afterwards, you could fade into nothingness, and never have this opportunity again.

Truly look around, feel the air, textures of everything, people watch, see how interesting and benelovent this world is.....

think about what you're really good at or what makes you tick, hobbies, and start doing them. Pick up a good book, find a quiet location, read, and throw out all the crap people try to persuade you to believe. Go with your gut instinct and think to yourself that you're better than how people perceive you, that you will not let 'them' beat you. That you can manage and live a very good life here in the now.

Whatever guilt or shame you have, it's in the past and time will heal, you can truly overcome anything anyone throws at you if you really take in that this time, here in the now, could be the only time you'll ever get, and once it's gone, it's not coming back.

This is what helped me stray from suicide, the simple realization that this life is yours, yours alone, and you have the choice to make the most of it, and it won't come back if you take it from yourself. Don't do it. You have great things ahead of you, and you're an awesome writer. I would read your stuff anyday, lonely frustrated minds turn into the influential creative minds we need.

Answer 5

After reading what you said, I can empathize and see why you are having such a difficult time. However, God does not want you dead. If you are serious about wanting help, don't give up on your prayers. Satan is eager for us to believe that Jehovah God neither loves us nor values us, he also delights in crushing the self-respect of vulnerable ones. (John 7:47-49; 8:13, 44) Many today grow up in families where there is “no natural affection.” Others are constantly exposed to those who are fierce, selfish, and headstrong. (2 Timothy 3:1-5) Years of being subjected to ill-treatment, racism, or hatred may have convinced such ones that they are worthless or unlovable.

Please take a few minutes and read the following article.
"Life Is Worth Living -You Can Find Help"

http://www.watchtower.org/library/g/2001/10/22/article_03.htm

Answer 6

1-800-273-TALK
Prayers answered!!!
It may not seem like it to you right now, but somebody loves you and if you take your life it will hurt them so tremendously they may never heal from the loss.
God has a plan for you alright,but not taking your own life. What exactly is bothering you that you feel the need to end it all? Find the solution, help yourself to heal and prove toothers you are worthy of life. You are obviously a sensitive caring person or it wouldn't bother you what the folks at AA say or the guys around your girlfriend. Maybe you need some new people in your life and new changes in a positive direction? It helped me to know tohers cared about me.
I care about you, God loves you and so does your family and friends. Remember that! Call the number and talk.

Answer 7

I have answered several of your questions. I think you have gotten some pretty good answers and have to have found out that there ar people that care about you even thought they don't know you. The bottom line is you have to care about yourself. You can't sit around feeling sorry for yourself. You have to get up in the morning and ask yourself one question. Do I want to live this day positively or negatively. Then if you choose positive. You take a shower. Go look for a job. Decide that you are going to do something with your life. I promise you it can get worse. I have a dear friend that got caught in electricity last week. He almost lost his life. He did loose both his feet up to his knees. But is he crying and blaming God. NO! He is thanking God for being alive. He is only 22 years old. Life is a precious gift from God and to sit and say you are going to kill yourself is just a cop out. You need to wake up and smell the coffee. Nobody and I do mean nobody is going to start caring for you or sitting beside you until you start caring for yourself and make some changes in your life. I am not saying these things to hurt. I am a christian and I love you. I sincerely think you need to hear this and you need to realise how precious life is. You don't need everyone begging you not to kill yourself. You need to be strong for yourself. I will be praying for you. I sincerely hope you find what you need. God Bless You.

Answer 8

PLEASE DO NOT KILL YOURSELF!
Think of all that God has done for you! Jesus gave His life for you, so that you can have eternal life, so don't throw your life away!
Examine your life, and think optimistically!
You have so much to be thankful for!
Here are some verses for you that I have found in the back of my Bible. Please read them, and re-consider your future!
If your future seems hopeless:
Isiah 54:1-7; Lamentations 3: 19-24; I Corinthians 15: 20-28; I Peter 1:1-9; I Peter 5:10-11; Revelation 11:15-19
If you need comfort:
Isaish 12; Isaiah 40:1-11; Jeremiah 31:10-13; 2 Corinthians 1:3-7, 7: 6-13
If your faith needs strengthening:
Genesis 15: 1-6; Proverbs 3: 5-9; Romans 5:1-11; I Corinthians 9:24-27; Hebrews 10:19-25, 35-39; Hebrews 11:1 through 12:13
Please read these verses, and know that God loves you always.
If you need any help, let me know.
"The grace of the Lord Jesus be with God's people. Amen."

Answer 9

im not sure if you are serious with what u wrote there! i actually hope you are not! but if you are not, it is a terrible joke! if you are serious with it then get yourself help! and no god doesnt want you dead! i dont think god wants other people to kill themselves...call a help line! im sure you got something there in the usa (we dont im from germany) well if life doesnt get on as u want to, try to see it as a challenge or as a test...and always think about that its gonna makes you stronger for the future...maybe you should make a theryp or something because only drugs wont help you in a long run...i bet you have friends or family who would be so sad, so think about them...and if there are no friends, go out and look for friends...and most important, get some help...well life isnt always that easy or at least not for everyone, so u gotta make the best out of what you got and dont forget, that there are people who have also problems, you are not alone with this...maybe you need to change something, like location or something and just get a new start!? well i wish you all the best for the future

Answer 10

There are free mental health clinics.
Look them up in the phone book.

Another suggestion is:

Have you ever heard of the expression "pray through" ?

It means pray to God as if your life depended on it
and stay there praying until Something has touched your heart and you rise up convinced that God has answered your prayer and will guide you in your future.

Remember, death is forever. You can't change your mind once you pull the plug on life.

So many people WISH they had a second chance but they can no longer return to the land of the living.

Get a paper and pen and write down the beautiful things that this earth has to offer,
The rainbow in the sky, the birds singing, the innocence of a child, a church bell ringing...the list can go on and on.
It all depends on what you are dwelling on.

So think good and positive thoughts and don't dwell on your negative past.

Find a Full Gospel church and talk to the pastor.
And let him pray for you.

Don't let the devil win your case.

Answer 11

God does not want you to die he wants you to be happy. the only way to be happy is to help others. That why I'm here answering these questions. Don't kill yourself there is alot to live for.Say here an answer questions. Ganutte there will be some very funny ones tonight look for Cornfunkel Ghost the person had some very dumb questions that need to be answer. Go visit sick people in the hospital, go help out at a homeless shelter, you do alot of wonderful thing with your life, so don't give up.