why is it im scared to stand up for myself or scared of confrontation?

Question

like the life guard at the swimming centre who walks around like a tough guy and who i feel stares at me, its detered me enough to stop going to the gym for two weeks. but one thing i can say and that i think might be one of the causes of my terrible anxiety and panic, im scared of losing control and becoming aggressive through my rage i struggle with. i think its the consequences of what could happen, gettin in trouble with police and gettin arrested etc, because a while back through my anger, i got in trouble and kicked someone for no reason, i ended up in a mental hospital, im ashamed of this & tryin to put this behind me. but ever since this memory hangs over me like a threat of what could happen if i lose control of my rage. if gotta say id rather be dead than be incarcerated again, & if i knew i was going to be, i would terminate myself rather than face that. but i dont wanna always live my life scared & frightened to stand my ground and face life, but i cant do it at the moment

Answer 1

How come you have a happy avitar? How can you be happy
& have all this rage?

You seem to me to have a Major Self-Esteem problem. Did you
know that Depression is anger turned inward? What has got
you so upset? Do you have road rage? You know it seems to me
that maybe you were put down by your parents? They didn't
show you any love or emotion? That's how it was for me. I went
into counseling & told them I wasn't angry - ha! that was it! I
just stuffed it and it grew & grew! I was very shy & a doormat
for most of my life. My Mother treated me like dirt & she beat me.
My Dad drank & she was always so upset with him over it. You
need to talk to SOMEONE! Get yourself into some counseling!
You can't carry this ball around forever! Like you said - it's bound
to come out again and you don't want that! Forgive yourself - it's
ok! Forget the past - live by your mistakes and forget them.
Don't kill yourself! You must choose life! Do you know Jesus?
He can help you - give your heart to Him today... He has been
there! You have alot of issues here you need to deal with.
I hope this helps....

Answer 2

I know what you are talking about, I can relate. I want to quit smoking but am afraid of how angry I get when I try. I am not suggesting smoking, it sucks. I keep telling myself I have to try kickboxing or something to get the anger out (from years of abuse), one of these days. I have tried counseling but an hour once a week doesn't work for me, and I don't want to take a pill that is a band aide and not a cure. I am practicing being more assertive with baby steps, however one thing I like about having allot of pent up anger is that if a mugger or rapist ever tries to attack me I am gonna tell them "I have been waiting for you" and unleash it all on them, ha ha. Find a legal way to kick ***(get the anger out), boxing or something.

Answer 3

You should set something up with a counselor or a pastor or some sort of mentor for you. You obviously have some emotional things that need to be dealt with. It's great that you acknowledge this and it shows character.

I dont' think anyone can answer this on Yahoo answers but I think if you had a professional counselor or other person to talk to you'd do well. Good luck and I hope things work out for you.

Answer 4

ok if you have problem with some one you just take a beep breath you slowly walk up to the person and say umm im sorry to bother you but ummm i herd from a friend that all you do when im here is stare at me if ur at a pool. if your at school and a girl or guys comes up to u and starts bothering you you just say hey you no what im tired of you pushing around or telling me what to do or making me do things that i dont want to do and im not doin it any more and if they try to hert u or before you do that and u no they can hurt u then u tell a parent a principle or a teacher and they will deal with it. and u probably get the point now so try harder think positive.

Answer 5

Sounds like you grew up in a family or environment where the only options were keep quite (be invisible) or attack.

No offense, but you need some kind of counselor to teach you some other options, some other things to do when you get angry.

Answer 6

Get some counseling...what you describe sounds like it's a bit more than you could easily overcome on your own...a professional can help you understand and get control of your anger...and also help you get over your fear of confrontation or standing up for yourself...

Good luck!

Answer 7

Poor self esteem. "The Feeling Good Book"
Dr David Burns.

Answer 8

I think you need to ask this to a professional not anyone off the internet...they have lots of meds now that can help...it may not be you it may be a chemical imbalance...a proffessional can help and the meds can make your life easier.