My son is four and he still is not potty trained.?

Question

He is showing none of the signs of readiness. He doesnt push or squat or go to a corner when making BM. It is like he doesnt even know when he is going. He doesnt seem to notice when he urinates either. We have bought dozens of books and tried every method we have heard of, with no results. Not even candy or toys will motivate him to go. Any suggestions?

Answer 1

We are having a similar problem with our three year old son. we have done the following things, and they seem to be steering him a bit more towards wanting to use the potty...
He must now change his own pull-ups...i.e. I will help him wipe after a BM, but otherwise it's all up to him. He has to throw the used pull-up away, as well as putting his clothes in the hamper if they are wet.
He is reminded often that it's his choice to go through this long process (when and if he complains..which is about 50% of the time) and we play it real cool. In other words we are somewhat indifferent to his grumblings. We try to stay as positive as possible, but never push him. But I'm sure you know all about this.
He sometimes gets the insentive of one M&M if he tries, but this usually dosen't work.Charts,promices of toys, etc. haven't worked for us either.

Anywho, we haven't conqured it yet, and I know it can be frustrating. This tactic that we are using comes partly from "Potty Training for Dummies" which you may or may not have read, if not check out the section " For Balkers"..it may give you a few helpful tips. I feel for you, but remember this, rarely does a 5 year old go to kindergarten in pull-ups...or so other parents have reminded me. [sigh]
Of course always consider asking his doctor if it seems like something could be physically standing in the way.
Best of luck, hang in there.

Answer 2

Four? Gross! That must be similar to changing an adult diaper. Have you tried emptying the diapers in the toilet together? Also putting him on the toilet every two hours for a few days may help. Follow this with mini celebrations with every success. Covering the potty chair with one sticker for every attempt could work too. A larger, fancier, and more special sticker should be used when he succeeds. Also most kids go within a few minutes of waking up. Try putting him on as soon as he starts moving around after sleep.

Answer 3

Here it is- it has worked for my 2 kids,and others after I tell them........

1. get m and m's handy
2. get a small potty chair
3. get a couple books about potty
4. you need to be home for about 4-5 days straight
5. now you can start. let them run around bare-but
6. Set the timer for 1/2 hour. Tell him/her to sit on the potty for 5 min. (read them a book in the mean time if it's to long for them.) If they go, give lots and lots of praise!!! I mean go crazy!! Give them about 3 m and m's.
7. Set the timer for 1/2 hour
8. Avoid asking the question "you got to go potty?'
9. Timer goes off- ok! What does that mean junior? Time to go potty again he or she would say, or you say it if they don't
10. repeat process all day long. If they go # 2 in the potty, reward with a handful of m and m's. They are very colorful and kids love them!!

11. Praise praise praise. I do spank my kids for behavior problems such as lying, disobedience, and bad attitudes, but never for having an accident. If there is an accident, clean it up queitly, and don't say much at all. Remind them it's ok, but try to make it in the potty next time, or in your own words.

Good luck!!! Hope this helps you. My 2 year old girl was potty-trained in one day with the method. Took my 2 1/2 year old son a week. Leave pull-ups on them at night just in case.
p.s. if this doen't work at all, try again in a few months.

Answer 4

He is probably autistic. Nothing wrong with that- those people are geniuses in their own right.
Just be patient. He will try to become as "normal" as he can when he is ready, trust me.
What will happen is that he will show signs of wanting to become part of humanity, then you get ready for him to do that and he will stop. Next go 'round, same thing.
That is okay.

Just be prepared, so that whenever he is ready to move further into the area of "normal" human interaction, you will be ready, too. Be very, very patient. Did I mention patient? You have no idea. I mean PATIENT....
Believe me, it will be worth the wait.
If you push, you will be sorely disappointed. If you go to sleep, you will miss a breakthrough. It is hard, I know, but stick with it and stick with him. In the end, things will come around and, hopefully, he will be a sound and well-adjusted boy.

I wish you the best of luck!

Answer 5

I know exactly how you feel, my son is 3years & 9 months & does not use the toilet ( we've not given him a potty cause then we'll have to wean him off of that). I was very worried but everybody we spoke to said that their children or someone they knew had similar problems. I took my son to the Dr's where we were told that he had a blocked bowel, & however long it took for the blockage to form that was how long it would take to clear it. Plenty of whole foods, fruit, fresh veg,will also help. My son also flatly refuses to acknowledge that he has done a poop or pee. Take him to the Dr's it won't hurt & if there is a problem it could be sorted. Good luck.

Answer 6

You know, we had the same problem with my 3 year old step son. At the time, he was actually 3 years and a couple of months. Finally, I took away the pull-ups: he thought of them as a diaper and then what was the point? Then I made him go to the potty every 30-45 minutes. If he had an accident, then I would make him rinse out his own clothes and take care of them. I also made him sit in a wet pair of underwear for a couple of minutes, not enough to hurt him, just enough to let him know how it felt. He HATED that....
When he finally started going on the potty, I would celebrate with a sticker of his choice on a chart that I just made up myself. He was pretty pleased with himself when everyone in the house started complimenting him on his "big boy" achievement. I did not use a potty chair, I just taught him how to sit on the big potty and it didn't seem to be an issue for him like most people think.
I will tell you that it was the longest and most frustrating 2 weeks of my life and probably my step son's too but he finally got it. And to let you know, he does stand to pee now. It just took a little time with his daddy to see how it was done...I also had to let him pee outside one time at the lake this summer and now, he refuses to sit down like me unless its for a BM. He says to me that he wants to be a man like his dad....lol. So good luck and just be patient and remember that all kids do things at their own speed but sometimes, we parents just have to take the initiative and make them do something that they are choosing not to do. Don't jump to the conclusion that something is wrong yet. If you still have concerns, obviously go to the doctor and talk to them to get their take on it.

Answer 7

I have taken many child development classes and I was told that pushing the child to potty train can effect the child in the long run. Your best bet is to let your 4 year old decide when their ready to potty train. Ive heard of 5 year old not being potty trained. Don't worry your child will eventually want to be potty trained.

Answer 8

I personally am not one to force children into anything before its God given time but I do believe that it's time to talk to his pediatrician. There may be nothing at all wrong with him except he's not interested in taking the time out of his busy day to go on the potty, that where you come in, or there may be a medical issue that needs to be resolved. Better double check just to be sure.

Answer 9

Go to www.easypottytraining.com there is a downloadable guide that costs about 12 dollars. It guarantees potty training in only 3 days. I used it, it really works as long as you follow EVERY step word for word. Good luck!!!

Answer 10

have you tried switching out off pullups to regular undies? that can be motivating. otherwise, lots of children wait that long, tho their mommy's don't like to tell.

if he's not showing signs of readiness, then he's not ready. some kids show signs of readiness, but fight going in the potty.