My 8 yr.old, doesen't like being away from me. What can I do?

Question

My 8 yr. old refuses to do anything unless I am there. He really got bad when his dad went to Iraq last year and is getting worse. I can't turn around without falling over him. What can I do?

Answer 1

When I was younger my parents got me involved in a lot of activities - sports and community groups (boy scouts, etc.) Perhaps that will help.. it'll give your kid an opportunity to meet other people as well.

Answer 2

Try leaving him with a trusting grandparent or friend for short periods of time and then increase the time as he gets used to the idea that you will always come back for him.. He is probably afraid that you are going to leave him like his dad did. Sit down and have a talk with him and let him know that you will always be with him, that you are not going away. Have patience because he is probably feeling lost without his dad.

Answer 3

He sounds like he is scared of losing you or that you might not be there if he leaves your side. You need to lovingly break him of this for his own good. You might consider taking him to a counselor to help and to give you guidance on how to do it.
If you can't afford a counselor then you can do it yourself by forcing him to do things that kids his age do away from their parents, like little league, sports, camp, etc. Drop him off, give him a hug, and let him know you will be back to pick him up at such and such time.
Another thing you can do is sit down and talk to him and ask him why he is always wanting to be around you. Let him know you aren't going any where and that you love him, but he needs to spending time and playing with other kids his age. You are going to need to be firm, and it might take a little while - and he may kick and scream, but you have to do it for his own good.

Answer 4

Well he has obviously been affected by his dad going away. Give him the affection he needs from you but help him out by maybe asking him if he would like to have a school friend round for tea and then maybe see if he wants to visit that friend. My 6 year old can be fairly clingy but once he is with someone else, he doesn't want to come back! I hope that helps a bit.

Answer 5

If I were you, I would try to find a counselor for my son. From experience,( me being the same way as your child when I was much younger), is scared that you too might leave him like your husband (for good reasons). You might want to try talking to him first and reassure him that you're not going anywhere and that if you do, you'll always return. If that does'nt work, then proceed to take him to counseling. Maybe your husband going off to Iraq bothers him more than you thought. Good Luck!!! -He'll be fine!!

Answer 6

Have you tried taking him to a therapist. Sounds like he is having a major case of seperation anxiety. With Dad being in Iraq I am sure he is afraid to let you out of his sight for fear of losing you too. Just be as patient as you can and try to ease his fears. Best of luck to you both.

Answer 7

Chances are that you don't want to be away from him either and he's picking up on that. Let him know that Mommy is okay and he's going to be okay too. When you have to leave him just be firm and strong. As for him being under your feet all the time it may require the same loving firmness.

Answer 8

This is normal. I did it to my mom, and so did my siblings. You need to be patient, but try simple things to get your kid to know you will always be there without you being a foot away from him at all times. Get your kid some play mates and arrange play dates. You can be there, but you don't have to be standing right next to him. try it and see how he responds.

Answer 9

This is a normal human reaction, my advice enjoy it to soon he will grow up and go away from you and on that day you will wish for just one more day that he cried to stay with you. Sorry I was just on that parents wish site and I'm still crying.