How can I use merits and demerits in my house?

Question

My 2 boys (14 and 7) never put things back, don't do chores without being told, and then feel they are entitled to priviledges. I want to set up a merit/demerit system, but I am unsure of what they can earn merits for realistically.

Answer 1

i would suggest their favorite things... my mom took away my consoles when i was younger however for my brothers it was something completely different.... when i did dishes.... it earned me 15 miinutes of gaming. if i cleaned my bedroom i earned 30 minutes ... it worked for me so maybe taking something they love to do away from them will work for them

Answer 2

I found a great program and use it my three oldest children. You can completely customize it to suit your family. Well anyway, the basics are they earn points by doing the things they are supposed to do. Then they can redeem these points for coupons which entitles them to certain rewards (again completely customizable, you pick the reward and how many points are needed for it.) Also, you can actually give them demerits, and if they recieve so many per week, then they don't get the allowance. The program is My Reward Board and can be downloaded from myrewardboard.com. There is even a virtual 'piggy bank' to keep track of the total allowance they have earned, a savings goal, and the ability to add extra or make a withdrawal if they buy something. Since, it keeps track of how much money they have, you don't have to physically give it to them at the end of the week and when you do the pay-out, you just reset the amount to $0.

Answer 3

I have a 12 yr old boy and 9 yr old girl and yes it can be hard to get them to do things but once you get them on a routine don't let anything mess it up.

Here is what I do, I start with a chart and a list of chores that needs to be done and then each day make daily chore or to do list for each child and I alternate the tasks so they don't always do the same chores everyday except they each do have specific chores that they are resposible for each day and they are appropriate for thier age and so on.

example:
Monday boy washes dishes and girl dries and puts away
girl cleans bathroom
boy takes out trash
Both put their own clothes away
if they have accident in their beds they will strip and change bedding and wash their own bedding and clothes that day.
Tues girl washes dishes and so on.


And if after a week or two of good work and no fighting, complaigning and so on they get to get a special privelege or prize etc. and they get a bonus if they dont have to be told what to do. I will also throw in a bonus if they do extra chores or tasks with out being asked or told and it works wonders,

And after a month of this it goes to a little more detailed and they still get the chores and alternate but then go for the month then they can use points or chart to mark their success and then let them choose a family outing or something special.

It works well for me. contact me if you want to know more.

antoher suggestion let them help in setting this up and they will be more into it. they can decide what discipleing will each failure get and what the priveleges and so on could be if you know what I mean.

Answer 4

Come up with a chart example: 5 merits= 1hour of video games or computer time, 10 merits = video game rental,
15=friend to spend the night, 25= one day without chores
It needs to be things they want or like!

Positive reinforcement is always good! I used it often, I did find my kids leaving socks around all the time and found when I charged them a fee $0.10 or $0.25 every time I had to pick up socks they stopped leaving them around!

Answer 5

Merits are paddeling with wet noodles.
De-merits is a paddeling with a board with holes,
First time with one hole, second time, two holes, etc.

WELL! It worked on me.

Answer 6

Try accountablekids.com. There kit works in my house.