Kids bedtime is after 11pm?

Question

I have a 7-year-old boy, a 3-year-old boy, and an 18-month-old girl. The toddler is in bed and asleep each night about 830-900pm. But the boys are up each night past 11pm, watching a movie or playing computer games in the living room. My wife thinks this is OK. Any help or opinions? I'm open to hearing both sides.

Great answers so far, everyone, thank you!

Some details were requested:
My wife is a stay at home mother.
The kids usually wake up on their own.
Daddy works from 9am-10pm M-Sat.
Yes, school is extremely important.

These are all great answers. I wish I could give 10 points to everyone.who has responded.

Answer 1

It is more important that they are getting at leat 11 hours of sleep availble to them. If they wake up sooner on their own it is alright, but they should have the opportunity to sleep for at least 11 hours every night. You did not mention what time they are expected to rise in the morning. During the school year this is obviously way too late, but in the summer, when the heat can make it difficult to sleep, a late night might fit into their lifestyles. The tv and computer are both too stimulating when trying to sleep and perhaps a book late at night might be a better choice. If they are having trouble sleeping, more exercise during the day and a nice turkey sandwich and glass of warm chocolate milk, both high in tryptophan a natural sedative, might help.

Answer 2

11pm is definitely too late.

Wake them up earlier in the morning and keep them busy during the day. No sleep during the day as well. Let's see if they still want to stay up for so long. Your MUST create a better life for them. Your kids need more discipline otherwise they will "play" with their parents soon. Will be hard for the 3 year old and even much harder for the 7 year old.
I suppose your wife is stressed with three kids and so she is happy when the kids watch a movie or play computer. But let me tell you that this is the wrong way! It's ok if the 7 year old plays computer for 30 minutes or an hour but not for longer.
And what about the three year old? Is it really necessary to "park" him in front of the tv and computer as well? There are much more useful things to do than this.
Your children are human beings and should do more useful things than this. Otherwise they'll become too nervous and some sort of "big mouthed" too early.

Answer 3

I truly believe that children are a lot more focused and calmer if they have enough sleep. However, each child is different. I have two 8 year olds, and a 10 month old. OUr youngest is in bed at 7:00pm, our older two are in bed for 7:30, they read until 8:00pm. My kids simply cannot gather themselves if they stay up any later. Mind you, we don't stop our lives for their bedtimes. If we happen to be out late, then so be it. However, the kids are usually whiny the next day. We don't go out late on school nights, for that exact reason.
There are also studies (I don't know how true they are) that say that kids who don't get 10 - 12 hours of sleep each night are more prone to becomming overweight, getting lower grades in school and have a harder time paying attention/focusing.
I would definately discuss pros and cons with your family doctor and get their point of view. Sometimes the other parent will listen to a physician over their spouse.

Answer 4

Children need schedules. Going to bed so late is not good for a child because then they are tired the next day at school and daycare. A child under the age of 11 needs about 10-12 hours of sleep a night. After age 11 I would play it by ear with what you feel comfortable with. If you start regular bedtimes, around 8:00, you will notice a change in your children's attitudes. Good luck with making your wife a willing partner in this.

Answer 5

This is VERY BAD. Children between the ages of 2-10 need at leest 10 hours of sleep. Here are some tips:

1) Talk to your wife she needs to under stand this problem vastly. Together research this and what the outcome could be.

2) Try comprimising with your children. For example say that you will take them out to go where ever they want after maybe 2 weeks of them staying in bed.

3) Punish them, now i'm not talking about a mir time-out or spanking them, by taking a way the problem. Take away their T.V., their computer , or their sweets(maybe something like saying NO soda atfer or during dinner).

4) Here some that works with me, read them bed time stories at least from 1-11/2 hrs. You could also try giving them warm or cold milk.

Now your children might not like the changes but I assure you they WILL work. IF THEY DON'T SEEK PROFESHIONAL HELP!!

Answer 6

If you have to wake your children up in the morning then they are going to bed too late. Most kids that age need 10-11 hours of sleep a night. You will notice sometimes they will need a little extra sleep, especially if they've been overly active or going through a growth spurt.

It's good for the children to have a schedule and be consistent. Try moving the bedtime back an hour every week until your kids are waking themselves up for school. Get into a bedtime routine like reading stories before bedtime to help calm them down.

Good luck.

Answer 7

The reccommended amount of sleep for children between ages 3 and 6 (I believe that's the correct range) is 10-12 hours of sleep.
If they aren't getting that, they aren't getting enough sleep-especially the 3-year old. Kids will be kids....they'll go and go and go if you let them but then you'll pay for it at the end of the week. They'll be cranky or just generally stubborn about everything you ask them to do.
Try this. If your wife gets frustrated with the kids, here's a chance to make your case. You can say, "Hey honey, let's see if we can get the boys in bed earlier so they aren't so cranky and hard to deal with for you during the day."
Or, if she complains about not having enough time to do stuff or have time with you, then suggest getting the boys in bed earlier.
Personally, my 4 year old goes to be by 9pm because I am worn out at the end of the day and I want some time with my husband.

Either way, you shouldn't have to be telling her this (she may just like having them around). She should already know that 11pm is way too late for kids. You have some good advice above on how to shut down the games and get them in bed at a decent hour.

Answer 8

I agree with your wife. I grew up in a house where we had set bed times...when I was 7 I clearly remember being put to bed and sitting in a dark room for hours it was so miserable. I feel that as long as the kids are behaving and being quiet then the bed time is not that big a deal. But I also thin that they should be in the bedroom not out in the family room. If they cant sleep then they should be allowed to find quiet activities in the bedroom, in pajamas.
The reason my husband hatesthe fact that I let our 6 year old stay up late is mostly becasue it takes away from our itme to relax, I must admit that it would be nice to know that after a certain time each night we get to be alone together but for right now I have an active little girl who doesnt go to sleep at night....she comes first.
But remind your wife that September is coming....they will be waking up early again soon so she might want to start getting them used to getting to bed slightly earlier. Unfortunalty for me, my daghter can stay up till 1 am and still get up for school in th emornign she is unstoppable!ugh.

Answer 9

I have a 12 1/2 yr old boy and a 9 1/2 girl and both are in bed before 10 pm every night with an occassional later bed time on special occassion.

My kids routine is up at 7am - 9am eat breakfast, go to school and no school days either play in house or outside with friends.

at noon they eat lunch and rest for an hour then go out to play or do somehting constructive, then at 530-630 pm we eat dinner and rest for a bit or kids go outside for an hour then they come in clean up pick up a relaxing book or play a video game for an hour then it is reading time before bed anywhere from 30-60 minutes and then usually lights out and sometimes we have little discussions on life or what ever they talk about and in ten minutes they are sleeping.

They also do chores sometime thru out the day their choice as long as it is not the time bdfore bed and as long as they get done.

We also have family times thru out the week where we go to the park or trips to zoos etc and so on. it will not only bring you closer but will help later.

My kids also check in oftern when outside and I always know who they are with and where they will be and what they will be doing and my kids will even stop home or call to tell me if things change like going somewhere else or with someone else and so on and then they will call and just say " Just checking in mom" It pays to start when they are young I have been using this now for three years and they are very responsible and even respectful to everyone. They even will call to check on me at times not sure why but they do.

They are great kids and loved by everyone even the niehgbors.

Answer 10

each child should have a seperate bedtime since they are different ages. the 3 yr old needs about 10 hrs of night sleep and about an hour or so of daytime sleep.the 7 yr old needs about the same amount but all at night (no nap). i let my kids stay up til 9:30pm in the summer and 8:30pm on school nights. there's no reason for any child under 13 to be up past 9:30 pm.