I was young mother to start out. So there is not much age difference between me and my daughter, we'll call her Cynthia. Cynthia is twenty and in college. She never was the dating type, in fact more of a wallflower but she went out with a couple of guys last summer. This new boyfriend, we'll call him Matthew, is very sweet, cute, charming, strong, hard-working, and funny. Unfortunately, I find myself a little bit attracted to Matthew!! I have not told Cynthia for obvious reasons. It seems that she and Matthew are "on the outs" and will break up any day now. Should I make my move? Or wait until the guy is older? I need help especially since my daughter will unquestionably date other boys and I DON'T want to be attracted to them because it is pretty awkward with me and my daughter. What do I do?
2006-07-28 08:36:10 · 19 answers · asked by Darcy Q. 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
WHOA NELLY!!!!! DANGER, DANGER......Dont make any move if your daughter is at all important to you. You will alienate her. You will scar her for life. Your daughter should be more valuable to you than any man!!!!!
If you are as messed up as you seem (if you cant figure this out on your own) then you will have to deal with the loss of a relationship with your daughter. She will never trust you and what would the rest of the community think of you. You are not normal if you think this could ever be okay.
Can you say ...JERRY...JERRY
...JERRY...JERRY....JERRY, you will end up on Springer.
2006-07-28 08:40:32 · answer #1 · answered by kat 4 · 8⤊ 0⤋
I can understand your plight, especially since you had your daughter at a young age. And probably missed out on good portion of your growing up, meeting boys phase. And it's natural to get attracted to these guys because they are easily accessible through your daughter.
But first and foremost, this is your daughter. Family. You never, ever do anything to jeopordize the family factor. No matter how much you are attracted to this guy. It's like the honour code amoung guy friends. You never go out with a good friends ex-girlfriend. Unless you've discussed it. And only after such amount of time has gone by that the friend is over her.
Which leads to this...If your really hung up on this guy. Wait a little while after they break up first. Then, talk to your daughter. With the age gap not being so much, I would assume that you have a pretty good relationship with her. Talk to her as friend, not as a mother. Find out how she feels about the situation. And whatever she says, you should respect her. ie. If she tells you that she would feel uncomfortable if you were to hook up with her ex. Then that's the end of that. Move on.
Good luck.
2006-07-28 16:08:48 · answer #2 · answered by JustAdude 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow thats a complicated situation, well just talk to her about it like you would a friend about going out with their exes. Actually that depends on how good of a relationship with your daughter you have if not then I'd say date other people than the people your daughter has dated. It it's a good relationship then do the first thing I suggested.
2006-07-28 15:42:27 · answer #3 · answered by hearts99992000 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seek out older men. Younger ones (and especially those that have an interest in your daughter) are a pain in the A S S. You need an actual man, not a little boy. Why would you want a little boy?? Older men are better, lol! (I'm a woman; I know this.)
2006-07-28 15:40:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh my gods, do you hear yourself?! You are talking about your daughters boyfriend! Your daughter! Is there really any guy in this entire planet that is worth the trouble that this one guy could cause between the two of you? She trusts you and you are plotting when to make your move on this guy?! Please just forget this man exists because you are only going to destroy your relationship with your daughter if you proceed. There are plenty of other men out there that have not slept with or dated your daughter. Let this go before it destroys all you hold dear.
2006-07-28 15:41:32 · answer #5 · answered by Phaylynn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
uhm.. u should go out more. meet men UR age. come on its not like theres NO guys out there for u. u cannot even TRY and get with him cuz omg tht would be bad.. REALLY REALLY bad. ur daughter will hate u.. no matter if she and him break up.. its the principle of the situation. u just dont do tht..especially to ur own daughter. sry hun.
2006-07-28 15:40:23 · answer #6 · answered by MiiSS CHRiiSS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to respect your daughter and keep away from the men she is with or no longer with. It seems to me that you dont care about her feelings, you just cared about having sex! What kind of mother would even think about being with their daughters guys.
2006-07-28 15:56:35 · answer #7 · answered by sassy_italia4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
AFTER she dumps him and it's obvious it's over, wait a month and give him a call. Not before, or you will go to hell.
Keep it completely away from her unless it turns serious. And if you're going into the bedroom with him, make sure it isn't the one in the house she lives in.
2006-07-28 15:42:05 · answer #8 · answered by wmp55 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is losing your daughter worth a night in the bed?
2006-07-28 15:43:04 · answer #9 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well 'Matthew' would love to bragg about doing both the mum and daughter so be careful !!
2006-07-28 15:43:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋