How many of you have had a drastic change in your sex life once your child was born?

Question

I have been in a relationship for 11 years and have 2 children the last being born 3 yrs ago. My sex drive severly diminished once child was born. I don't know if it was an insecurity with my "new body" or if this is normal. Let me know of your experience.

If it did change then how long before it gets back to where it use to be?

Answer 1

Yes - drastic. I hated sex during pregnancy although I tried to like it. I always had to pee.

I've been in our relationship for 10 year and have 2 kids (4 1/2 and 2 1/2). My sex drive diminished for a lot of reasons - mainly too tired and kid alert. I didn't appreciate my body that much, but my husband got a lot better at a lot of things so I would enjoy. (When we had more frequency, sometimes I would orgasm and sometimes not.) Now because we don't get many chances we both are satisfied every time. Sometimes if I don't make it during sex - I get some special attention afterwards which is really nice.

We only can find time and energy about once a month (occasionally 2 or 3 if we are lucky). We also play a lot of grab butt and tickle tiddy. I also send him to the shower with a woody if I only have 5 mins to give a little oral. We try to catch each other masturbating too. He doesn't catch me nearly as often. If I catch him at the right time - it only takes a few minutes to help with the ending.

All things will change - always can count on that.

Answer 2

This is very normal. A woman's sex drive changes drastically over time with the birth of children, aging, stress, and menopause. Add to that being a mommy is a very tiring job so our bodies are saying "hey sleep please, not more exercise", lol. On the other hand I experienced a wonderful thing in the last few years my sex drive went crazy when I entered menopause it was like being a teenager without all the angst. Ok I have to put up with hot flashes and mood swings, (again like a teenager), but my husband wouldn't trade perkiness for willingness for anything in the world. Good luck this too will pass.

Answer 3

I have a 4.5 month old. I always had a good sex drive before ( not so much during the last part of pregnancy), but now, it is really high. Also, I have found that for me, sex is even more enjoyable (when I have the energy- our daughter doesn't sleep well...we are SO tired lol).
I have a friend though, that had her daughter 7 years ago and has had no sex drive since.
It varies according to the person.
I think that psychology and physiology both play a part in the libido issue
Good luck

Answer 4

Sex drive what's that? I can't remember. My oldest child is 9yrs, my youngest is 1. I lost mine when I was pregnant with my oldest, finally gained it back when he was around the age of three. After my second child, I lost my drive once again, got it back shortly after I had her. My third, I still don't have my drive back and it's been over a year since I had her. The only time I'm even willing to let my husband near me, is when I've had a few beers. Eventually I will regain my drive again, but in the meantime, in order to keep my husband happy, I please him and fake everything. SHHHHHHHH! Don't tell! lol!

Seriously, your sex drive just really depends on your individual body. You will get it back, as far as when, it depends on your body alone. No one can tell you when you'll get it back for sure, but keep the communication open with your partner. If your partner loves you, they will understand and be patient. If you are really worried about it, then get someone to watch your children and you and your partner go for a drive and walk into one of those stores, like Lover's Package, look around, find something to possibly experiement with and regain some interest in sex again. It has helped me. Don't feel foolish about it either, that's why those stores are there. Then you and your partner go home and enjoy each other again. You can do it. Good luck!

ps.- remember when you were younger, fooling around in public, the thrill of being wild, trying not to get caught?, try that, try some daytime four play with your partner, without getting caught by the kids instead of your parents. that too will help bring back some of your drive. again, good luck.

Answer 5

I never had a high sex drive in the first place... sex always seem to hurt me... but I had read that when you have a baby (vaginally) it can help make you somewhat bigger down there!!

Now sex is soooo awesome it's unbelievable! I don't know what I would have done if it had diminished... well actually I would have been fine but not my spouse!!

Answer 6

Have the doctor check your hormone levels. Sometimes low estrogen and progesterone can cause this. Also, the more insecure I am with my body the more I find that I worry about it and this causes me to not enjoy sex. My husband has had to reassure me that he loves me for me to get past it. You don't have to share that you are not enjoying sex but let him know that you no longer feel sexy because of your added body. If he is like my guy he will help you to feel better about this area.

Answer 7

i had a baby 4 months ago and absolutely cringe at the thought of being exposed, even to my b/f of 3 and a half years. he's basically distancing himself from me and threatening to leave me, but my only advise to you is to understand your own body and emotions before thinking there's something wrong with your sex drive. my doctor told me that a woman is most often not satisfied w/ sex anyway, so why should she just have to feel unsatisfied and deprived of a true emotional relationship just because a mans sex drive is higher than hers.

Answer 8

Sex life? What's that?

I was worried about it and asked my doctor and he said that it is very normal for the libido to drop down to absolutely nowhere - especially when breastfeeding. It is your body's way of saying 'Hey, your not done taking care of the other one yet.'. He also said that it comes back faster for those that want it more (so it is a bit psychological as well as hormonal).
My son is two and it's just coming back for me but it is still not what it used to be.

Answer 9

oh lord, i didn't even want to think about sex for 6 mths after the 1st child. stretching & pulling, i was so sore down there, losing my virginity had nothing on that. i was very athletic when i was in highschool and had sex for the first time. i had no drive, desire or anything. it took time and we were much happier.
new husband, 3rd child on the way, i can't get enough sex now. he thinks i'm gonna run him dry. but i explained to him that after the baby comes, more than likely, he's not getting anything in the near future.

Answer 10

I lost my sex drive as soon as I got pregnant and it never totally came back. I actually take Passion Tabs (by Passion Parties) that that has made all the difference in the world! Just let me know if you want my consultant's number!