Why do some parents refuse to let their children grow up?

Question

I see 18 year olds being treated like their 13, I see 15 year olds being treated like thier 10. I see 10 year olds being treated like they're 5. Kids today aren't being allowed to grow up. My theory is that maybe if we let our kids grow up then it means that we are getting old so we use our childrens youthfulness as our fountain of youth. I honestly don't accept the excuse that things are so dangerous nowadays, things are exactly as they were when I was growing up, we just know more about it now. What do you think?

Jenn, if we don't allow our children to make mistakes they can never learn consequences for their actions and how to correct or avoid those mistakes.

JD, I do ammend that part of my statement. I meant that there were pedophiles and kidnappers back then and my parents made sure that I knew and was well aware, but didn't keep me under lock and key because of it like parents do today.

You are right, I'm 32 and we did know our neighbors much more when I was growing up.

Jinky, I'm the mom of an 11 year old.

Answer 1

I agree. I work in a university and see some of the worst cases of overbearing parents.. and these are 18 year olds going into university, they should be able to talk to people on their own.

I think some parents don't like to accept that their child may not need them anymore. I imagine it's a weird feeling to not have to do everything for them after helping them out for so long. It's just annoying though.

Answer 2

I agreed with you until the part about things being like they've always been. When I was growing up, we knew EVERY neighbor on the block. We could go to anyone's house for a sandwich, help with homework or just to have an adult around until our parents came home. One neighbor baked pies for the neighborhood kids. Another fixed bicycle chains. My mother made buckets and buckets of the best popcorn. Another neighbor had the corner candy store and would not let us buy junk before dinner. I have lived in this house for ten years and I could not tell you the names of three people on my block. Things are NOT the same as they were even one generation ago. I don't believe this justifies completely shielding and babying children, but the world they live in is a much different place.

Answer 3

A lot of parents are just concerned about their children losing their innocence to soon, so they become overprotective. This could come across as being too controlling, and sometimes that exactly what they're doing. Controlling their children too much. But I think the majority of parents are just plain concerned about their children's safety and well-being. The world is not a safe place, and parents become more controlling when their children get older, because this is when they think they know everything(but they really don't), and an age of self-discovery and experimentation. It's also the time when peer-pressure is the greatest, and parents know that peer-pressure always wins out over their word. That's why they get like that.

Finally, they're just afraid of losing their kids. They know they'll be leaving soon when they reach the teenage years, and they want them to be kids for as long as possible. They'll have plenty of time to be grown-up once they leave home. That's all they're trying to do, is to make their kids realize this. The only thing is that the kids don't realize it at the time. They realize it later when they have left home.

Answer 4

Maybe you are lucky enough to live in a small town where crime is low and everyone knows everyone but for bigger cities, it is a different world compared to how things were in the Sixties and Seventies. There are more perverts out there as well as the potential for falling prey to road accidents and muggers/gangs. And there aren't the tougher jail sentences today to deter such people.

Parents coddle their children not because they don't want their kids to grow up but rather to protect them from the evils in the world. I think many parents would have loved for their children to grow up in a carefree time where they could wander at all hours, safe in the knowledge that nothing would happen and there were always neighbours on hand to keep an eye on things. As it is, life just isn't like that anymore. What with the paedophiles, violent criminals and reckless drivers out there, parents really have no choice but to do whatever it takes to keep their kids safe even if it means risking suffocating them with kindness. Better that than dead.

Answer 5

I think the reason mothers and fathers don't want their children to grow up is b/c their parents feel like they are losing their children when they grow up to doing bad thing or getting married when they are 15, 16, and 17. The children don't won't their parents treating them like they are 3 when they are really 13. Parentas still wish their kids are babies but they have to grow up sometime we aren't in Neverland. But children need to know that their parents love them and woud die to save them.
Good luck to all parents!!!!!!

Answer 6

I see this a lot too! I also hate seeing people trying to make their 5 year old a 15 year old. I have a friend that has her child in so many "lessons" that she doesn't have time to play like a kid!

Answer 7

My mom is like this with my ten year old sister. She treats her like she's still 5 or 6. She babies her, and acts like she's still in first grade. I've been talking to her about it, and she's lightening up a little bit, but it's taken some hard coaxing to get her to lighten up on her.

My mom is afraid that if she lets her have fun with her friends and go to parties and stuff, that she'll start having sex, etc.... Which is so untrue because my sister still thinks kissing boys is gross, lol.

Answer 8

I don't know...I relax about it...I love my parents and I ALLOWED them everything, I have been living without my parents already 6 years and earn for my life by myself, but I am not angry when my mom asks me if I ate something today or reminds me to take warm coat if it's going to be cold. But generally: I think because of parents want to stay and feel themselves PARENTS, it's nonsense, but look, in the beginning of kid's life who is the most important: PARENTS, but the kids are growing....growing...and soon they start to have somebody also very important...for example wife, husband. So, I think, that our parents only want to stay for us the most important people...in the world...in our life.

Answer 9

Because parents tend to become overprotective of their children. Not that they are preventing them to grow up, but more of guiding them over and over about things that would soon matter in life. Kids these days seemed more hardheaded than the previous generation. Parents knew better.

I used to think that my dady didin't love me because he wouldn't allow me to date until I was 18, but I was wrong. My dady knew that at a younger age, I wonuld be exposed to bad company and that I am prone to making bad decisions. When I came of age, I realized that he only had the best intentions for me.

With the danger that linger in every street and every corner of our planet, parents would think a lot of times into letting their kids out.

I sense that you have no children of your own just yet... the reason behind the immature thoughts about parents... tsk tsk tsk...

Answer 10

I have a real nut-job of an aunt (related by marriage, fortunately) who treats me & my younger sister like we're both 5, and we're actually in our mid-20's. This woman wanted to give my sister a copy of the kids' movie "The Brave Little Toaster" for her 18th birthday, calling it the perfect gift!