Why does God only favor some and not others - why is God's love unavailable to me?

Question

Faith and love only comes to those who god favors. That's why I plan to hang myself tommorow night.

A year ago my ex-girlfriend and I were drinking and fighting. We both had been sober in AA before, but we started drinking together.

Anyway, she left me almost 1 year to the day today. We both went back to AA. Because she's a pretty girl lots of people rallied around her to support. All the men wanted to sleep with her, and some of them convinced her to do it.

She's sober, happy, and has a new boyfriend - my old sponsor. Go figure huh?

I went back the same day. No one shook my hand. No one said hello. No one welcomed me except during the obligitory 'hi bill' at all AA meetings.

I have not made a single friend during the past 3 years. The people who I thought were my friends, are hers. I have no money to pay for counceling nor can I afford any medical attention.

Somehow, the only option I see that will end this pain is to end my life. I plan to hang myself tommorow

Answer 1

Life can suck sometimes. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It's a hard thing to go through alone.
Personally, I don't believe in God. I look around the world and wonder "How can a God allow this?". Yesterday, I had to work a code (cardiac arrest) on a young man who was only four years older than me. What kind of a God allows this to happen?
I find it easier to live your life once you scrap the idea of there being a God. Once this has happened, it's just a matter of doing the best you can do with what you have. No invisible standards to live up to.
I've spent some time in AA and it seems that the good looking and well spoken people tend to get all the attention, and where does that leave us? AA can be just as much of a social clique as anything else. There are lots of meetings out there; maybe you could go to a different one where you can start over.
Life can be really difficult when sober; nothing to dull the pain. That's something that a lot of peoople don't realize if they've never been in an alcoholic's shoes.
I know everyone says this, but it does get easier. I have held the gun to my head, and decided against suicide. Now, I shudder to think of what I almost did.
Suicide is so permanent; why don't you try again?
What's the harm in giving life one more shot?
If you go to your local emergency room, they cannot deny you medical attention if you can't pay. They will treat you no matter what. If you need to talk, you can reach me at [e-mail]. If you email me with your phone number, I will be glad to give you a call.
Consider me your friend; I would be honored if you would.

Answer 2

Hi, I only found your question because I saw your answer to another question and tried to click on your name to send you an email.

First I want to tell you that God does not favor some more than others and that his love is absolutely 100% available to you. Jesus said all that come to him he will in so wise cast out. It sounds like you have had a really hard time and I am sorry to hear that. But I am hear to tell you it can get better. I have 2 brothers that were alcholics. God can deliver you from anything if you put your trust in him. You can't just say it, you have to accept him into your heart and sincerely give your life over to him. I promise you he has brought more joy to my life than I can ever expect. He is my reason to get up every day. As far as friends go you may think no one cares, but try visiting your local church. Become a regular, you will find out you are wrong on that count also. I don't even know you and for all I know this is a bunch of crap you typed up to get a response from people, but it doesn't matter. I want you to know that I love you and better than that Jesus loves you. He died so that you might live. I will pray for you and I sincerely hope you pick up a bible and read and try talking to Jesus because when it seems there is no one to listen he is always there. I promise you he will bring you the comfort you need. God bless you.

Answer 3

I don't know where you live, but most areas has county Mental Health Centers that you can get help. They go by a sliding scale, by how much you make. If you are not working right now they will not charge you at all.

They also have crisis clinics that you can go too every day or call every day when you are in crisis.
And you are in Crisis right now. I know I have been there myself several times. I go to a clinic on a weekly basic right now because of my major depression. I feel like commiting suicide on a daily basis, but I know it is the answer.

I left my husband a year ago and everyone who was friends with us suddenly became his friend. All I had was a couple of family members and my cat. I too had a very hard time coping. I had to have help getting thru this time in my life or I would not have made it. I think you need to have proffessional help also to make it thru this terrible time in your life also.
It is not that God does not love you right now, it is that right now you can not see it because of the depression. He is always there for you. And if you will open your heart back up to him he will be there for you.

I am truely sorry for what you are going thru. I hope the best for you and please don't go thru with your plan.

Answer 4

if you would like to seek help, here are some numbers, most of them free.
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)

Dallas Suicide and Crisis Center: [phone]

Boys Town USA: 1-800-448-3000

Suicide Prevention Hot Line: 1-800-827-7571


You do have God's love. He's watching over you and wanting to help you through your tought times. Other people can often cause a lot of strife and make you feel things you don't want to feel. God's love is availible to you all the time, all you need to do is put it to prayer and seek it, have faith that you'll come through this.
This situation is in your hands and you know this. There are people who want to see you get through this and how you handle your emotions is your choice only.
I have been on the brink of suicide myself before, feeling alone in the world with my troubles. I found outlets, some doing more bad than others.
Try making a list of the things you like, that make you feel good, even if they're silly. In my list is ginger tea and the smell of coffee inscence and small things like that. If you enjoy taking baths or sleeping in late, getting off or scribbling on piecesof paper, include it. Things that you can do that make yourself feel better and do them.
Talking about your pain is a good first step. You want help, from what I can read, and you're reaching out for it. If it's anger you have, tearsomething to bits, like a phone book, if it's pent u[p frustrations, get some paper and write down everything that you've beenupset about and then set it alight and get it out of you. You're loved and you care for yourself enough to know that there's more to life than this, no matter how hard it can be.
put off doing what you want to do in a week and make efforts to make yourself feel good without cfocussing on past hurts and see how you feel, and then make a list of alternative things you can do. The past can hurt you but you can't hurt or change the past, but the day you leave it behind is the start of a brighter future.

Answer 5

Guess what? We at Yahoo! Answers are your friends! That's why you ask us all of this stuff. And don't hang yourself. Not a good idea. Plus if you believe in God so much, you must know that killing yourself is a sin. Live with your hell for a few more decades, or live in the real hell for eternity? It's up to you. No matter how hard it is, you always have someone to talk to on Yahoo! It's a great place to be. I for one am annoyed with your self pity. Tough love is sometimes the best kind of love. Remember the movie Groundhog Day? There's no way it can happen to you--tomorrow is another day.

<3<3<3
Annie

Answer 6

Bill, God loves the whole world so that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever shall believe in him shall not perish but have ever lasting life. My stepson who was only 25 passed last week. The pain that is left here with us is so great it is almost unbearable. God is helping us though this. Think about your parents and family. You also have friends in here that care about you. Seek help call a friend that is a Christan. Get in contact with their pastor or yours. Call out to God he will help you and your broken heart. Remember the serenity prayer that you have at your AA meeting. Help your except things that you can change and go from there. And please let us all know that you are okay tomorrow. I will be praying for you Bill. God bless you and be strong with his love and comfort .,

Answer 7

Don't do it!!!
I lost my great paying job 4 years ago and can't get another.
I pray every night. been sober 11 years. my mom has Alzhiemers.
I thought of ending it 100 times, or to say F it and start drinking again. my life seems a bore and I feel worthless cause of no job.
It is screwing up my marriage. Honestly I don't know why I am here. I love my dogs so much, I couldn't bare to leave them. not to mention how much I would hurt my family. I keep thinking sooner or later something good has to happen. Right

Answer 8

Bill, I found your question, because of the way you answered my question about depression. You scared me! I am not a religious person, so I don't have an answer on that front. However as far as ending your life goes, it is NOT the answer. That is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Keep talking to people, even if it is only on a post here in cyberland. Don't let go.

Answer 9

Do you see how many people here care about you?
I'll pray that you won't do it. God does love you (and we do too!). The question is, are you going to Him?
Trust Him and pray to Him faithfully, and you will get an answer to your prayers. I know it sounds like something people just say, but I've seen it happen way too many times. He'll get you out of this.
You say you don't have any friends. Let's do something. If you want to, we can be your support through this channel. Keep posting, and I'll promise I'll be looking out for your postings and trying to give you some support.
God bless you, I'll be praying for you.

Answer 10

Please, I beg you to think about all that you have that is right with your life instead of focusing on what seems to be going so wrong right now. God does love you inspite of the bad things that are hapening to you right now. People will come and go in your life and I promise you that your old girlfriend could not have been the right person for you if she has hurt you this much. There is someone out there who will meet all of your needs beyond your wildest imagination. I believe you may have to find another recovery group to help you through this hard time. One that is Christian based that will help you with your recovery as well as help you know and understand your identity in Christ. Please let me know if I can help you find one in your area. I pray you discover ALL of the riches and blessings you have already and the ones God has in store for you.