why do parents act the way they do?

Question

My mom acts like she is 3 yaers old some times. She brings up the past fights all the time trying to start another fight. She also likes the belittle me by word chooses. How do i get her to stop?

Answer 1

Why do children act the way they do? You know all "I know more than you even though you've been on the earth way longer than me!" and "I don't have to listen to you even though I know your the adult!"

Answer 2

There is an interesting theory out there about two stages of a kids life: The first part is that when a child begins to realise they are not the center of the universe as the previously thought, around age 2. They realise they do not have the power they previously thought. The child then is in the 'terrible twos' and throws tantrums, generally acts out.

The 2nd stage is when the child hits teen years - this time it's the parents that realise they are no longer the center of the child's universe...the kid is growing up, no longer needing them - they no longer have the power over the child's life as they previously thought - and then, it's the parents that start having 'tantrums' and acting out.

According to this theory, that's where your mom is right now (assuming you are in your teens or pre teens)

Answer 3

I wish I knew how old you are. Listen, childhood is the shortest part of your life, enjoy, relax, and take your time through it. The best thing I can tell you is to remember that moms and dads are human and baby humans make a hell of a lot of mistakes, and it is soooo hard to raise someone when you have still trying to figure out things for yourself. When you become 18 thank you mom for providing shelter, food, making you go to school, and helping you make some good decisions in your life. Afterwards live your own life, and try not to make the same mistakes with your own children. Because life is GREAT.

Answer 4

You can't get her to stop, chances are she brings up old arguements because she wants to remind you about something you should have learned from that.
Parents are a pain because they love you and they worry for you. However, at this point, you are going to have to keep a calm and clear head and explain to mom that it's hurting you and it's unfair that she acts the way she does. Tell her how you feel, but if you see a huge arguement rising from this, walk away and don't yell back.

Answer 5

This is NOT the whole story -- because I AM a single mom who is raising 2 teenagers on my own. I repeat things BECAUSE my teenagers are NOT LISTENING to the voice of experience. So instead of trying to figure out a way to stop your mom from talking, how about looking at the behaviors you are doing when she mentions things (a pattern here?) and START your own behavior change work too. I can assure you as a mom that when you START RESPECTING her, her rules, and her home, that things will be MUCH BETTER for you overall.

Answer 6

You can't really control anyone else. You can only control how you respond. She can't start a fight with you if you don't let her. I sometimes tell my mom we'll get together again when she's in a better mood. If my mom gets on my case about something we are never going to agree on, I just say, "You know I love you, Mom." It's hard to keep harping after that.

Answer 7

sounds like ur mom is being a bit immature..and therefore not a very good role model for you. do u feel that u have had to grow up "faster" in order to go on w/ daily life? although it sucks for u to be stifled in such a manner, don't let it ruin ur life. my mom is VERY strict..in fact i still live w/ her and my aunt, and together they drive me insane!!! but i know that in their heart of hearts, it is cuz they love me. sometimes, it is very hard as a parent to be the "bigger person", because they are human too. it doesn't mean they don't love u, but it may mean they are weak in some aspects of their lives. perhaps she doesn't know how to encourage u in a positive way; my mom thought that making me feel SO STUPID would "help" me study harder. Nope, instead she made me want to 1) run away 2) threaten to kill myself. i was incredulous..how could a mother be so unsupportive??? (of course i was never gonna kill myself, but she made me feel like that's what i SHOULD do cuz i "messed up"). anyhoo, Always keep in mind that she loves u, but that she's not always right. do what u need to do, what u have to do, in order to experience and ENJOY life. be responsible, and eventually she will respect u for that. there are times when my mom says she's soo proud of me, out of the blue..so i know she respects the good things about me. but it takes time...and u have to prove it to her... i understand if u want to go thru a rebellious stage cuz u dont' care, etc etc... but in the end, don't try to hurt her. it just causes a cycle, and u will find urself acting like her to other people!!! please keep an open mind always, be understanding, sympathetic, patient, and caring, and eventually she will respect you and hopefully become a positive parent, not a negative one.

Answer 8

Mine was the same way. But I know now, my mother has issues. It doesn't make me love her any less. So I just try to let her comments go in one ear and out the other. When people ask if you would go back in time to be a kid again....No way. My mother made my life miserable most of the time.

Answer 9

Well this depends if she if really truely doing this next time she says something to you in a nice way tell her that you wish she'd stop saying things like that and let her know that alot of times the things she says hurts your feelings. But I know that alot of times as teenagers we are hateful and we take alot of these things the wrong way. Maybe you can get on Dr. Phil, dunno.

Answer 10

i can feel u on that one my mom does it all the time i had got counceling b4 on it cause it got bad my councelor told me not to hang out with my mom so much and when i do make my visit short he called my mom mind poisoning he also had me write a letter that we did not give to my mom telling her how i felt about it and then he read it and we ripped it up it just got everything out of my system by writing it for someone else to read if it that bad just make your visits short and dont be around her much

Answer 11

Probably because the way their children act. Actually, it has a little to do with this and more with the way their parents (your grandparents) acted towards them.