I need your thoughts on my pregnant teen daughter.?

Question

I would like to know what you would think if your 16 year old daughter told you she wasn't having sex, and you caught her home alone with a boy (just watching tv though), and a week later she tells you she is pregnant.
Please I would just like your opinions on what you would think, please don't tell me what I should do or anything like that.

Answer 1

Not your fault but really sorry for you and your daughter!

Answer 2

Dear Mom, you have my best in your future plans to accommodate this situation. The main "opinion" I would have is that you and your daughter don't have the open and honest communication that is warranted - especially at a time like this. It is obvious that she lied to you and you trusted her to be honest and she wasn't. I am sure it's hind sight now, but leaving a healthy, curious teen at home **alone***with a boy is quite dangerous. I think you already know what a judgement error this was. Opinion/you and your daughter should have a long talk. It is so necessary that parents and teens are honest. Now she needs you like never before and decisions have to be made. She needs to understand that those decisions could have been made earlier if she had been honest with you. This is in no way an effort to tell you what to do, but understand, when you ask people for their opinions, opinions and suggestions can almost walk hand in hand. I am a mother of a 20 year old and the lessons I laid down, the responsibilities we accepted together in our decision making process (I reared her alone), the relationship we had with church activities, and her belief and trust in God, my family, her dad, - the village - all helped her to formulate good decision making policies about her life and what she did and did not want. It's not too late for your daughter to turn this around. As a mom, I'm with you in this struggle- we are still part of the village. God bless you and your family during this challenging period of your lives.

Answer 3

I was a 16 yr old pregnant girl but I was actually very responsible for my age this was almost 20 yrs ago and everything turned out as best as it could. I did marry my boyfriend which lasted 16 yrs but the thing during my first pregnancy i really needed was not to be afraid of hurting my parents feelings and that they wouldn't feel like i let them down. In the end all is well and my parents are proud of the way I've parented my children as it is not an easy task. I'm not going to tell you what to do but suggest that you stand by her and let her know you there for her.

I hope you also talk to her about what her plans are and let her know that the child needs a mother in every sense of the word and that partying and visiting with friends is now a thing of the past her priorities are taking care of herself and the baby and that you'll be there to help out but don't get her accustomed to having you babysit while she's out having fun.

Let her know that although she didn't make that baby herself that she has to provide for that baby as if there was no other don't expect the best from the boy. Now I'm not saying don't try to make him accountable just don't expect anything and she should just do her best at taking care of the baby's needs and make sure that they are always met.

By the way I don't believe in abortion so I wouldn't ever suggest that, I hope you don't either.

Answer 4

How can I tell you what I think without saying what should be done? It has already occurred. It's just a matter of if she's going to keep the child, if the boy is going to man up, and what your daughter plans to do about finishing her education. I would be a little disappointed with my daughter because she lied and because she was with a boy in my house unsupervised. But that's already said and done. My cousin had a child at 14 and finished high school with honors and is on her way to college. None of that would have happened if she did not have family behind her. Being pregnant at 16 is not the end of the world, it just makes things a lot more difficult.

P.S.
How old is the boy?

Answer 5

I would think that if she is such an immature 16 year old that she shouldn't have been left home alone in the first place. Perhaps she is testing you and really doesn't know if she is pregnant, but you are lucky that she actually told you so that you can help her go through the pregnancy. Just because a teenager tells you that she is not having sex doesn't mean much at all. If it is true she needs to take responsibilty for her actions and she confided in you so that you can guide her.

Answer 6

I was a "teen mother", I was 17 when my daughter was born. My mother also was in denial about it until it was too late. I now have a wonderful 11 year old daughter who I will be more open with about sex and birth control.

You need to be there for her, yes she made a mistake, but we are all human. You need to let her know you're not proud of what she's done, but that you still love her.

Then you two need to sit down and talk openly about her future and her baby's future. Make a plan, decide whether she will keep the baby or give him/her up for adoption. It's not the end of the world, it will be okay.

Good luck and God bless

Answer 7

I would be a little disappointed. I lost my virginity at 17 and by then, most of my female friends had already been pros. Your daughter wouldn't be the first or last teenager to get pregnant at a young age.
I guess if it were me, I would be more upset that she didn't protect herself. In the long run, she would still be my daughter and I would be there for her because this is the time when she would need me most.
I have never believed in abortion for myself so asking my daughter to get one would be out of the question. I would let it be her decision and explain how precious a baby is and how hard it is to raise one.
If she chose to get an abortion, I would go with her for support and make sure she had all the information about the proceedure. If she decided to keep the baby, I would help her out in every way possible but still allowing her to struggle a bit.

Answer 8

People this girl is 16 she doesn't need any supervision, true enough is a little young to be pregnant, half of you people had sex at 16 or before. It is not the end of the world for her, but she will learn from her mistake if SHE decides to keep her baby. It hurts your mom if your pregnant just as much as it does to tell her that you're having sex.
Mom she needs you now more than ever don't leave her hanging she still you're daughter.

Answer 9

I'm only 21, so I was in that position not too long ago (don't have a kid yet though). Its hard to tell your parents something like that. It's probably a huge mistake. Most kids do have sex at that age, its just that some get unlucky. Im sorry it happened though. There is no excuse for it by any means. But im sure right now she could use support, she knows she has done wrong. Good luck to you both.

Answer 10

Oh boy another statistic! I don't think teenage pregnancy should be as accepted as it is now days. But coming from a family that has had four I can't judge. I love all the products in our family of teenage pregnancy but I can tell you that parents who put their heads in the sand will usually wind up with one faster than one who is willing to educate their children about the outcome of premarital sex. Don't give her a hard time about it. She doesn't need a hard time she needs support. Even when it is hard to give the support you need to offer it. And no matter what love the baby. The baby did nothing to deserve being ignored or mistreated. In my opinion I don't think abortion is an answer! If your old enough to make the choice of having premarital sex then you should be able to face the consequences of what comes with it. (including std's)

Answer 11

I guess you have the right to feel dissappointed but she really needs your support. I lied to my mom at 19 telling her I wasn't having sex when i was cause i knew she would flip out she is so old fashioned and never told me anything about sex at all. I ended up pregnant at 21 still living at home and she forced me to abort it, and then had the nerve to tell me If i was going to go around sleeping with people to get on BC like I was a whore I have only been with 3 people. I now have a 16mold daughter and really don't know what i would do in that situation. I guess you need to really sit and talk to her. There are so many options now a days and she needs to know you still love her and don't think she is a tramp or anything. You can tell her your dissappointed but make her understand that you support her and will be there for her. If she wants to keeps the baby make sure she knows your not teh mother and she will have to be supporting it mostly but you will offer help, if she wants to give it up for adoption (which is what i guess i would suggest to my daughter as hard as it may be) then make sure she knows about what that entails.

That is a very hard situation your in adn I wish you all the best but make sure your daughter knows she is loved cause whan it happened to me I thought my mom hated me she looked at me like i was trash and some kind of whore. If she does keep the child them amke sure she knows how hard it is going to be and it will be her responsibility now yours.

Good Luck like to know what happens