I had sex with a married co-worker, now I don't know what to do. He acts like it never happened?

Question

I feel terrible, but I miss him, am confused about his reaction to it all. Told me it was wonderful. But, I had paid hiim to come and work on my computer (in advance because I trusted him). He came to my house, we had sex, and an hour later he asked me to take him back to the office. He never touched my computer, but kept the money. He barely acknowledges me at work now, though is nice when he sees me (casual nice like you would be to anyone). I found out he has several other "friends" who no doubt he is involved with at the office. I am so confused as to why I let this happen, and now what to do. I want to ask him what is going on now. Is it better to pretend it didn't happen and just move on (I'm trying but I'm dying inside). I have been divorced ten years, and never, NEVER, slept with anyone else since then...I feel used and worthless now.

Answer 1

Christ, what do you expect? First off, he's MARRIED! Did you expect him to start dating you? You're just another conquest for him. Take some accountability for YOUR actions and learn from it. If this wasn't something you had considered a possibility, you would NEVER had him come to your home to "fix" your computer

Oh, and ask him for the money back or his wife may find out about his "friendships"...Funny, that all of a sudden, NOW you're aware of his other "friends" at the office.

I see all the apologists posting for the poor little used woman...ah, the victim mentality runs deep...I guess it's OK that you KNEW he was married....

Answer 2

I am sorry about your experience with your co-worker. First, he must have misunderstood your calling for computer services just a front for having him at home and your advance payment is for the sex services. By not touchng your computer yet accepting your money shows he has been doing what you have have done with him for a fee. You have solicited the services of a call boy.
I think you have to go on with your life. I will not say forget what happened because you will not, specially if you enjoyed that little moment. Just watch out for the words spreading around the office or any negative steps he might do. At least you have to be thankful he is not a criminal. You are not worthless and for ten years without sex, think of it as you have to have it for your health of mind's sake.

Answer 3

I'm no expert on relationship advice, however, you said that he basically ignores you in a "nice" manner. Well first things first you must act as if it was just a thing to, because it fact thats exactly what it was. You can blame yourself for doing such a thing, but point is your human. So motivate yourself, ( no one else will).!!!!!! Take yourself out, get your hair done, have a glass of wine while you listen to something soothing. Let this go, in time it will pass. You made a mistake, that you had better not happen again:(. But smile ::), ur a woman- your beautiful!

Answer 4

unfortunately, you may have to consider that money as lost.
I personally would ignore him and act like he doesn't exist. But, I'm the type that would also find a way to make his taking my money public knowledge, just so as to embarras the crap out of him and let others know that he's less than honest.

Like write up a note to the effect that "Need computer repair, Don't ask this person, he's a thief. He'll promise to fix it, take your money and act like he never knew you." and then I would leave a copy of that note on everyone's desk; publish it in the classified section of the local paper; stuff like that.

that's what I would do, anyway.

Answer 5

You were used and deep down you know it. Go to counseling and talk to someone who is trained to know how to help you put this aside. A lot of people in your situation feel as though sex is the only thing people want from them and become promiscuous. Deal with this now and you will be better off. Good luck to you.

Answer 6

Well, that's just sad. I guess he's attitude to you is a turnoff and I suggest you to move on. A friend of you to the least will not make you feel bad but look at what he did to you. Was it fair? Are you feeling happier now? Or be4 you'd encountered with him?

Well, yourself and your feelings are the most important. Wait for the right chance. it'll come sooner or later!

Answer 7

I'm sorry to say but it sounds like he set you up. He is a worthless excuse for a man. I would stay clear of him and advise others to do the same. However I would confront him about the money for the computer. You sound like a great person who doesn't have to pay for their needs and I would clearly express that to him.

Answer 8

Of course you feel used. You WERE used. It meant absolutely nothing to him, except the fact that it felt good and he enjoyed himself. Promise yourself you won't do it again, and let it go. If you have too difficult a time with it at work, you might want to look for a new job, but don't expect anything from him. You won't get it. Unless, of course, he comes around for more action.

Answer 9

You allowed yourself to be used, but you don't have to continue letting him use you.

I would go to him and put it in his face. I would say, "obviously you misunderstood me. You thought I was paying you for a sex act, but I was paying you to fix my computer." Hold your hand out and say, "I want my money back or I am going to your wife!" And then I would do it if he didn't refund the money.

After that, chalk it up to a learning experience, and hope and pray you didn't contract HIV!!!

Answer 10

Don't beat yourself up, just quietly move on (out of his physical proximity) and don't talk to him again. Find another guy you can be happy with and use this incident as a lesson. Don't mention your experience to anyone else.