How to deal with Anger?

Question

I want to teach my 2 1/2 year old son the proper way to manage his anger, but I'm not very good at it myself. I have a tendency to yell and throw things, and don't want him to pick up my bad behavior. I've gotten better, but I dont know what to tell him to do when he gets angry. How should a 2-3 year old handle anger or frustration?

Answer 1

Sounds like he has already picked up your habits -- kids 'learn' 90% of their behavior before 2 yrs old!! You are going to have a tough time 'un'training him and 're'training -- especially since you still have your bad behavior.

Answer 2

Remember, a 2-3 year old is very very young, and he is looking to you to help model for him (show him) the proper way to control anger, behave in public, and everything else. When you feel you are getting angry -- why not do what most adults do -- step back from the situation for a little -- find something to calm you down (like a little walk, a cooling fan, think of a very pleasant place, or a glass of cold water) and come back to the problem a few minutes later. It is amazing what a few minutes can do to your perspective. I'd be very careful about throwing things -- because your toddler is watching YOUR every move and imitating your behavior. And as time increases (the child gets older) they WILL show that they have learned how to be violent as an answer to frustration and anger despite your stopping the violence now -- and it needs to stop now. Throwing things is violence, yelling is violence. Do you want your son to yell or throw things at his future family (when he is an adult)?

As a single parent, I can say that is the BIGGEST Reason divorce occurs -- one of the partners is violent to either the mom (or other partner) or the children or both! So take your time, take a couple of very deep breaths, and just wait for a minute or two. Throwing things is NOT the answer, and sometimes yelling is good (like when you are in danger, or the child is about to be electrocuted -- couple of examples), but yelling at other times is not.

Answer 3

I was that way too with my two girls, I was yelling at a 6 month old and realized how stupid it was and needed change. The most important thing is to be consistant. Don't make idol threats, if you say "don't do this or else this" you MUST do that. So don't say anything you are not willing to do. Which means you must pick your battles to the ones that really are important to you. Is it really important for him to pick up his toys? no... Is it really important for him to take a bath? yes, battle only the battles that matter alot to you. Two people that I got alot of great advice from is brazelton and Penelope Leach, I REALLY liked penelope's but I think it took both books to really get a handle on my kids. Now my girls are 12 & 13 and very well behaved, even without me around. The worst thing you can do is get mad too, that means he wins. You MUST remain calm and tell him calmly that you will not tolerate that behavior and he must go to his room when he gets like that because you won't put up with him behaving that way. If he gets destructive, then you will need to calmly restrain him by holding him and telling him you will not tolerate his behavior. Once he has calmed down a bit you can distract him by playing something different with him. If he acts like that say in a store, I would tell him that if he continues, you both will leave and mean it, leave your cart and go sit in the car, if he still continues take him home and continue previous steps. If you have any questions I can help you with, I would be happy to, Good luck Elizabeth [e-mail]

Answer 4

First you must understand that he is a child, and kids are going to be kids, and that your two year old son is a gift from God, Love covers everything discipline is needed, ask God for the method that will work for him. A two year old will handle anger and fustration in many ways, from how you act ,what they see others do, and could just as well go crazy, but as a parent you must let him see who's boss, every time, until he gets the picture, the bible says train up a child in the way he should go and when he gets old he will not depart from it, read the bible to him. He probably more smarter than you think. The word i really want you to understand is "Train" training takes time, training him you will also train yourself on how to deal with him. pray with him believe me it works, be blessed if you do these things he will change remember it takes time, he's only been here on this earth for two 2 1/2 years. and God knows the desires of your heart and he will honor it take care

Answer 5

He's going to model his behavior after yours. I would suggest getting some therapy for yourself so you help with the stress of anger. ( We've all been there =) )

First he needs to learn all people get mad and angry. When you get mad express it in "nice words" like I'm mad and I'm going to take a break.

If he is angry acknowledge it and don't ignore it. If you see him getting mad say I see you are upset why don't we take a break. Or find an activity that is calming like coloring or reading a book.
You have to ignore the bad behavior if he's throwing things, screaming etc. If you see him handling his anger in a positive way praise him.

I hope this helps.

Answer 6

When ever you see that your child is about to get angry, thry redirection. Take his attention away from the situation as quick as possible and always remind your son to "use your words" it is aphrase that gets repeated hundreds of times until it is ingrained into his head....we use our words...we dont throw things. And use the phrase "use your inside voice" to put a stop to yelling. when dealing with a toddler repition is always key...keep to those phrases and of course always remember to be a good role model.

Answer 7

Explain to him what anger and other emotions are. Make a chart of proper ways to relieve anger, such as Breathing and thinking positively.

Answer 8

Do not keep it inside you, try to bring it out in some form & be careful with the people around you at that time;-)

Answer 9

listen children are very smart you should never lose your anger in front of them because if you do it then they'll think it's okay for them to act that way too.