How much does a brother suicide affect you?

Question

My brother killed himself 10 years ago when I was 13. I still have those bad memories of seeing him dead. It just doesnt go away. Do you think it could be some childhood trauma that can hit later on? I mean why do I feel so devasted now althougth it took place long time ago. I got no other siblings. Anyone with similar experiences?

Answer 1

i am so sorry for you and your family, i don't think you ever get over something as devastating as that---it sounds like you may have post traumatic stress disorder, if i were you i would contact a grief counselor in your area, that might be all you need to help you heal.

Answer 2

I imagine it effects you In a very deep and painful way. I could not imagine losing my sibling in that manner. My cousin and good friend killed herself in 2001. It was devastating to me. Still is. The first year I walked around constantly thinking about her and what i could have done. I believe you are longing for the "what could have beens". Now, You are 23 and this is a time when having your brother would mean so much more. There will be many times in your life where the wound of losing your brother in this tragic manner will rear it's ugly head...You know, when you get married, have a baby, graduate from college, family reunions.. all sorts of things. I feel your pain and wish for you peace of mind.

Answer 3

My brother killed himself in 2003 on September 3rd, 6 0'clock in the morning by jumping off his 12th floor building from his kitchen window....
What had happened, was gone. It won't come back.
What will happen, has not yet come. It's irrelevant.
What is here, is now. It is real.

I won't dwell on the past to make myself miserable, because it's gone and nothing can I do about it. Afterall, it's my brother's choice. If I have a chance to talk to him, more likely I'll reprimand him for acting so selfishly. He has finally chosen to avoid facing his issues by ending his life, but has no concern for the feelings of the ones who has loved him.

The incident does not affect me too much, except that I missed him sometimes. I know that when a person dies, he's not gone. He has gone to another realm of existence. We'll meet when our time to leave this world is up. I have to carry on my life and live well. So should you too.

Answer 4

Well my sister killed herself 8 yrs ago, I know how you feel, I actually have just started dealing with her death, so it is very hard, as time goes on the pain will slowly fade, however you will always go through sad times. I finally decided to go and see a psychologist to deal with this, I never wanted to go this route, however I am already seeing positive things abt seeing her. I was told by her that I haven't dealt with her death because I am afraid of losing control, which is sooo true. You should try seeing someone about this, because friends and family will always be there to listen, however having outside help seems to be much different and a lot more helpful. Good luck to you in your time of sadness, it will get easier.

Answer 5

Faith and love only comes to those who god favors.

A year ago my ex-girlfriend and I were drinking and fighting. We both had been sober in AA before, but we started drinking together.

Anyway, she left me almost 1 year to the day today. We both went back to AA. Because she's a pretty girl lots of people rallied around her to support. All the men wanted to sleep with her, and some of them convinced her to do it.

She's sober, happy, and has a new boyfriend - my old sponsor. Go figure huh?

I went back the same day. No one shook my hand. No one said hello. No one welcomed me except during the obligitory 'hi bill' at all AA meetings.

I have not made a single friend. The people who I thought were my friends, are hers. Many of the men I used to hang out with have either dated her or tried to.

Tommorow, the her actualy anniversary, I have decided to hang myself at right around the time she left.

God does play favorites.

Answer 6

This might be a childhood trauma that has just now come back to haunt you now that you're 23 and is going to continue hitting until you come to terms with it.

Answer 7

It will be with you for the rest of your life but hopefully you can make a lot of happy memories to think about more. Perhaps you are thinking about it now because you are about his age when he died or you have some other sad things.

Answer 8

very similar experience... my older bro died of an OD on the night of my prom... the pain never goes away, and i do feel as if it has shaped me somewhat as a person... but in life you can not choose what happens to you, only how you respond to it...

i personally found it more painful that my parents felt as if they had failed, so i started (and still am) working my *** off to become as successful as i can be... kind of like i am carrying the weight of two sons instead of one... of course i have never told them this... and it is probably not the best motivation in life, but it has taken me quite far already, its been ten years as well, though i am now 27...

i still get devastated quite frequently, when i visit my parents and walk by the room he died in... when i see anything referring to the movie that i watched that night... (stupid assed mall-rats) and i still have a lot of dreams with him in it...

but all in all, you never heal, you just learn to accept it and move on... and in my case, thus far i have used it as a driving force in my life...

hope that helps...

Answer 9

I've had some rather disturbing flashbacks from 10, 15, 20 years ago and beyond. Best thing I've found to do is call my redhead and get it off my chest.

Close your eyes...
deep breath...
rub your temples, gently...
smile...

Works for me.

Answer 10

My brother worries me he has issues and signs of suicide behavior. He gets on my damn nerves but I couldn't handle him killing himself. That would hurt me- and I'm not that sensitive.