Why is letting go so hard?? I've been in and out of a relationship for years now........I know I need to let it go.....I took the college courses I know all about the revolving relationship opposed to the evolving but at what point does it become revolving?? and how do we get it back to the evolving state?? At this point is seems hopeless........But I cant deny I totally love him to the depths of my soul and would give anything to get those good days back.....
Why is everything always easier said than done?? How can it be that I am excellent at giving others advice and can never take my own..........
Is it really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? :((
2006-07-28 05:12:26 · 22 answers · asked by CaliCutie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I just got myself out of a revolving relationship, again. Notice the word again. At some point you have to come to the realization that no matter how many chances you give it it winds up back in the same place. How much more time am I going to waste and wish and hope ? The longer I do with no good results the worse it makes me feel about everything. Why do I want to keep doing that to myself ? I wanted to marry this guy but its just not working. If your excellent at giving advice then you will eventually do the right thing. Its much easier to say it then to do it for everybody.
2006-07-28 05:20:25 · answer #1 · answered by JustMe 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny I was reading your question, and thinking the same mantra. I do believe that. I think it is always hard to lose someone you love. It hurts because you care. If hurts because you are breaking up amicably. You won't see it now but years from now your will cherish that hopefully develop into a friendship you had at the beginning of the relationship. Listen you cant miss something you haven't let go, and maybe this a wake up call to see how you really admire this person. Seeing other people, talking about it, and enjoying life in general will give you that avenue. My advice would be to cry without, then find a friend, then take a trip, then follow your goals and aspirations for yourself. What most women don't realize is that guys are more attracted to a woman that is determined and focused on her career and goals.
2006-07-28 12:22:28 · answer #2 · answered by Gilligan W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yup its hard, I'm still going through this and I know exactly how you feel. Even when you know what you have to do, even when you know whats best it hurts a lot to do it and you want so much not to have to do it. Its hard to let go of all of those great memories of the past but you have to, you'll find someone else and you may have better memories with that other person. I know you don't feel like it now and you probably wont for a little bit but its the truth. Maybe he might come back to you, who knows? Time heals all wounds, and thats what you need right now is just time and space. As for your last question, thats a tough one to answer. When your going through this you feel as though you wished that you never loved that person, but atleast you have great memories of the past and if he can't be your boyfriend than he could be a great friend, one who you can always turn to when your haveing trouble with something. A friend like that is really hard to find and people are lucky to even have one friend like that. Its not going to make the pain go away but it might ease it a little. So in all reality it is better to love and lost, because you can build a great friendship from that love.
2006-07-28 12:37:28 · answer #3 · answered by Matt A 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i have the same problem...while i give others tons of advice, i can't even solve my own problems! If you know you need to let go, then you NEED to do it. recovering from it will be very hard. i know that much. i dont know any of that revolving/evoloving stuff, but i know love is very hard to control...if you don't have a relationship in the exact right way, then it turns into a neverending cycle of pain. If there is truly no way to get the good days back, then you have to realize it's a lost cause. you end it, spend some quiet alone time, talk to friends and family for company, and NEVER think about suicide. finally, after lots of time getting over it, you will replant the blossom of love, and this time, it will bloom even more beautifully. this will make you stronger for the future, so yes, it's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all.
2006-07-28 12:24:10 · answer #4 · answered by Billy C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I know it's hard, but you're in love with the way things used to be. If it's not that way now, you can't make it so and you can't build a future on what SHOULD be. Have you thought of seeing a counselor? Sometimes the hardest thing is letting go and you've just got to get to the point where you love yourself enough to do it. It's not fair to you to be with someone who is not treating you well and giving you what you deserve. And yes, I think it is better to have loved and lost, because when you love again, it will seem that much sweeter and you'll appreciate it more. Good luck to you...
2006-07-28 12:19:03 · answer #5 · answered by Jane D 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is better to have loved and lost
I bet you meet someone else really soon !
I know a girl in my recent past and I still Love her and try to tell her even tho I am with someone else now that I also will always Love. Maybe we don't ever totally let go
It's good to have a "Love memory" of someone Forever Like Rose and Jack Dawson in Titanic____ He shouldn't have let go of that floating piece of wood.........and she didn't let go of him or the Diamond until she was 100 years old! .....how Romantic !......
2006-07-28 12:23:36 · answer #6 · answered by goodcharacter 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I know what you mean. All I can say is that it sounds to me like you know the answer ("I know I need to let it go").
It is NOT easy. But think of all the time you are wasting when you can be doing something else, or meeting someone else.
You can both be in love and it still won't work. It must be bad for both of you. You deserve better. I don't know what else to say.
good luck.
2006-07-28 12:16:29 · answer #7 · answered by American citizen and taxpayer 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it really better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all? :((
A. Yes because you will love again! Talk to him , tell him your feelings and if he doesnt feel the same, well there are other fish in the sea! Move on! Life is too short!
2006-07-28 12:18:40 · answer #8 · answered by helives11_112001 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is hard to let go of someone. Especially when you get into the groove of things and just get used to having that one person around. Your not alone..people go through this everyday...I'm having a issue with it right now. You have to have faith in yourself..and know that if its meant to be then it will be. I know you get sick of hearing that...I get sick of hearing that...but thats really all you can run on. Be a strong woman...it will pass. Good luck
2006-07-28 12:16:31 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes it is
i'm in the same possition
(for the second one in a row, yes same possition)
me n this guy broke up and i'll never forget what we had
but its better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all because u know u had something great.
it meant something to u
u should never regret something that made u smile
remember the good and hope for that again some where else
best wishes hun. i feel for u
â¥Kayla
2006-07-28 12:18:03 · answer #10 · answered by . 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋