Will you please help???

Question

I have had 2 dates in 2 nights. My problem is I am unsure of how to go about telling one of them I do not want to date him.
we will call my first date guy A. the second will be guy B.
ok guy A. was a nice gentleman who seems to be very shy and quiet. I felt like I picked him. There was no physical attraction, however I was interested in knowing him a little better.
guy B is an outgoing person who I was very much physically attracted to. A very nice guy whom I really liked.

The problem comes when I was on date with guy B, guy A kept calling. I finally turned my phone off. So I check my email and guy A seems to be very unstable emotionally. He wants to date me and it may happen? the thing is he didn't go to work because he was upset, he said he thought I rejected him. I am not exactly the mean type person.I need a way to tell guy A that he is just moving way too fast for me and that I am going to see other people (without him going psycho on me).

Answer 1

guy a is probably socially conditioned to be respectful of women, and his upbringing dictates that, even in the early stages of dating, he can only date one women at a time. that means all his eggs are in one basket (yours) and he's therefore desperate.

guy b is like almost every woman these days, in that they play the field, almost like holding job interviews for a mate. guy b has the luxury of 4-5 (or 10-20) other girls on standby if you told him that things aren't working out.

This is what's inherently unfair about our society today. We tell boys to treat girls with respect - to not cheat on them, and to be a one woman man - and the nice guys follow those rules. we appear to be telling women, on the other hand, to consider each and every offer that comes in, and that is something that nice and not so nice girls universally do.

Anyway, go with your gut when choosing. Guy B will probably not be around for long (he'll probably find something better (don't mean to burst yer bubble), while guy a will be needy and when you dump him because you got another offer (and you will get more offers than he will) you will have a crying sobbing man on your hands.

Answer 2

Call him back. After the hello, tell him quickly: "I don't want to start dating you." Tell him you were out with your friends and it was embarrassing when he kept calling and calling you. Tell him "I don't want to start a relationship where you've embarrassed me and yourself in front of my friends. That beginning fun time you only get a few times in your life, and you have ruined this for us." Then he'll start whining. Then say "I've never been in a relationship where I'm the more stable of the two people. You didn't go to work the next day? That seems unstable to me. I like the strong silent type ... this is simply not a good fit. You'll find someone, it just won't be me."

Good luck. Wear a short skirt for guy B!

.

Answer 3

Oh i've had this happen to me and it sucks because you feel like your being mean but hell it's something that you just have to do! You did like him and you were interested in getting to know A but your not liking the fact that you have gone on ONE date with him and he is already way to clingy. So just tell him that you feel that he is ready for a relationship that your not ready to give and that you are wanting to date other people. Ok going a little off but I can't help but to think of this song. I love country music and it's by Danielle Peck and it's called "Finding a good man" and there is a line in there that say to the "I love you" to soon sayers. It's just every guy that I met (the clingy ones) where always ready to say I love you on the second date and ready to marry me on the third lol....so I laugh at this song. I attached the lyrics if your interested in reading it. But anyways just tell him that your not ready for what he wants and you can be honest and tell him that his calling like 20 times in one night was a HUGE turn off.....

Answer 4

You may just have to sit down with him and tell him that you think it would be best if you two just stayed friends. I know that is the oldest one in the book but maybe it will help. I'm not mean either and hate having to tell someone something like that. Tell him that maybe you two can go have lunch sometime together. Dont make him think that you wanting to cut him off completely or he just might go psycho on you. Good luck and let us know how it goes

Answer 5

girl, just tell him. be like you can get mad at me b/c ur not my man. i understand u want to be cause u like me and i like u and all but sweetie ur moving a lil bit too fast. if u keep being so forward i'm go have to push u off to the side cause its a lil scary and i dont want u down my back every time i turn around. u need to watch out for him though cause he could very much turn out to be one of those derranged men who keep tabs on their woman and u dont want or need that in ur life on the serious tip honey. but do spend some time with him though so u wont make that mistake. he could very well be a really good guy. just try to get to know him a lil bit more and get to know his personality and what makes him tick. if he seems crazy then let it burn and fast cause u dont want no crazy dude on ur hands cause that could turn into him having psycho/stalker tendencies.

Answer 6

Wow! well you can call him or wiat till he calls you, but either way just say......... I think your a nice guy but your not what i'm looking for, your already moving too fast for me and i feel very uncomfortable with how things are starting out. But it was nice to meet you and you take care. Or end it with but we can be friends.
( that is if you want this type of person in your life? )
well i wish you the best and please don't let him know where you live !!!!!! PLEEEEASE !

Answer 7

This guy does sound like a psycho..You went on one date with him? You def cannot lead him on cause this will only get worse! You have to tell him like today..that you had fun but your not interested in taking this any further...Don't even sat you can be Friends..I hope I helped a little...Let me know how it turns out :-)

Answer 8

Word of caution: BEWARE of the "Guy A" type. He's stalker material. If a guy is that upset over you because of rejection, and he's not your husband (or at least long term boyfriend)... he's dangerous.
Break it off NOW before he stakes claim on you and will be willing to hurt people..

For Real!!!

Answer 9

Just tell him that honestly that you don't want to see him. If he does not go to work because he is upset because you rejected him is his problem. He is too clingy and you don't need that. It could get worse and he could turn out to be some stalker.

Answer 10

baby girl, you did the right thing. that's the result of sympathy date, it'll haunt you. make it quick and painless, end guy A. he sounds like a clinggy type anyway. remember that date is suppose to be fun and you enjoy the company. find out more on guy B, see what other quality he has. and if you don't like what you find out, remember there are lots of alphabet out there. just remember to have fun.