im all alone!?

Question

someone i really care about is going away for a month and i dont know how i'll cope without that person. i keep fighting with my mam so that doesnt help either. im starting college in 5 weeks. im fat and ugly and desperated to lose weight even though people say im not fat and ugly. i feel like ending it all. what should i do?

Answer 1

Don't be down. It's ok to feel that way from time to time.

You have something to look forward to, so just keep going.

Answer 2

Hey, what a damn life, look you are what you are and if you want to lose some weight then do it sensibly, cut out the junk and crap foods and eat fruit instead of sweets, stop worrying what other people think of you or you will end up spending all your life worrying over them and don't they just love it when they get to you, broaden your shoulders and say to yourself to hell with them, my life, business, tuff on them, there are times in our life when we all have someone we love that goes away from us even for a short time, have you become a bit relyant on this person, are you feeling they are the only person that understands you, look I know you so do not want to hear this off a stranger, but please talk to your mam, ask her to sit down and ask her what you can do to stop arguing with each other all the time, she is a mom and has had so much life experience and will be able to understand a lot of what you are going through right now, talk to her about your problems because I think you will find she has had a lot of the same sort herself, she was your age once too, you are starting a whole new way of life soon going to college so you obviously are an intelligent person with hopes and ambition, I think you are worried about that and are having confidence crisis about how you are going to fit in with new people, stop worrying college is a great thing and everyone is so different than they are at school, you will be treat different and make good friends, I went through the same thing myself but it changed my life and it will your too, you are one beautiful person so stop worrying ok.

Answer 3

You sound very depressed, people who are depressed usually have a poor body image, at least that what I have always encountered. If you friend is only going to be gone for a month then they are coming back, it is not the end of the world and just think of all you will have to talk about when they get back. Starting college sounds fanatastic, but a little scary, you will be ok though and it will get your mind off all the other bad things in life, if you let it. If you really feel that you are fat why not start a new exrcise program, get the blood pumping also get the good feelings going too, sounds to easy doesn't it, remember Just Do It!

Answer 4

To speed the time of your friend's absence, write them a letter every day. In your letters, tell of what you did each day. Don't make them sappy "I miss you, I love you" letters, make them entertaining. You may not have to mail every one, but write them. Then when they return, you can spend a great reunion reading them.
To deal with the arguments you're having with your 'mam', you need to sit quietly and ask her why she is opposed to whatever the topic or activity is. Then you can share your viewpoint with her, and work toward coming to an understanding. This is a big step in dealing with any type of relationship. If you can discuss differences quietly with family, then you will be able to manage them in all manner of relationships in the future.
If you're feeling "fat & ugly" (trust me, I can relate - I'm only 5'4" & weigh 180#), then the first thing you need to do is empty your closets! Get rid of all those clothes that don't fit. They only torment you, so why keep them? I'm sure they're nice enough to make someone else's life better. They certainly aren't helping you at the moment. Then do some shopping for yourself - and buy some nice foundation garments - get some fresh new look that fits properly. You'll help both yourself & someone who's life isn't going so well.
And if you'd like to change your body type (lose weight), then this is another good topic to discuss with your mother. If you're living at home, then she probably prepares your meals. Plan some menus with her, and help to prepare them. You'll be showing your 'mam' that you're interested in helping the family, as well as learning how to take care of yourself.
And to ward off the desperate feelings of frustration, plan a good walk every day. Get out there and really stretch your legs out. Even if you only walk 1/2 mile each day (which is the equivelant of walking around about 3 city blocks), you'll be improving your posture, your muscle tone, and "airing out" your emotions.
The hardest part of moving on with your life while key elements are changing around you is breaking the inertia. Get up, get moving & move forward...

Answer 5

You need to expand your circle of friends. College is a great place to do that. Be optimistic, you are about to begin a new phase in life. One most people find very exciting and rewarding. This would be a very bad time to "end it all." Certainly you want to see what happens next. You are probably not fat and ugly but I will tell you most assuridly that I am. I was in college and there were many others, to include members of the opposite sex that wanted to date me who were just as fat and ugly and we got together and had a great time. I gues it was a good thing that getting naked on Datona Beach wasn't really my thing because I never felt deprived of a good time for my appearance. If you are very superficial just get over it and you will have a good life. There are many people there. Whatever you're like, you will find others like you. Do take advantage of available counseling services while you are there.

Answer 6

I would start by not ending it all. That's pretty much the last decision you will make and it would be a bad one. Self esteem is a hard thing to come by; it can start by realising that most people in this world worry about their appearance, size, shape etc. It is a natural worry and those that do not are not normal. Only you know if you are a Good and decent person, if you are then you have little else to worry about. Regarding your friend going away, I am afraid that is just part of life. Separation is something you have to learn to deal with. Its not easy but it is also not fatal. I do hope you feel better soon and try not to argue with your mom.

Answer 7

Sounds like you may be co-dependent on that person.
Talk to your Mom. Tell her how you feel. And keep in mind that you have a whole new life ahead of you with starting college soon. That's going to open up a whole new world to you.
You're reaching out for help. that's a good sign !
Hopefully you have a therapist that you can talk to about this also.
Good luck with everything, and have a GREAT time in college.
You'll be amazed at the new friends you will make there!
( That will help with the co-dependency you have with your friend that is leaving )

Answer 8

go out get some nice clothes or other things that cheer you up, go somewere fun with the person who's going away so you'll have a fun memory to last till they come back, go visit them or they you and if that's not possable write to each other send silly little things or call each other.

a month is hard especialy if you're used to seeing eachother all the time but it'll get hard at about 2 weeks but by then you're half of the way through it and you just have to last the next 2 weeks. and the day they get back it will seem like it just flew by, just keep yourself occupied till then.

as for the college thing, change is always scary, but honestly it's not as big or as scary as it seems, you'll meet a lot of nice people and a lot of friends. most of the friends i have now i met through college, i didn't think there were so many people like me but in being myself and putting up with the pants people i met a lot of good people. and if you find out you don't like it there are so many options open to young people that you don't even think about till you look back at it.

i'm sure your not fat or ugly even if you think you are, we all over exsagerate our own flaws. if you are realy that unhappy with your body use the 5 weeks you have till you start college to inprove yourself, take up swimming and walking. change your hair eat differently, healthyer, a good 3 meals a day with less takeaways and fat. start some hobies like a martial art or riding or anything, archery.

i have to say "ending it all" for such a young person with so many options they've not explored or just because they can be bothered to try or are scared of doing seems a bit stupid. there realy are many things to do.

Answer 9

No matter how deep the hole seems to be, trust me, that is NO answer, and your life is worth more than you think. You've got college ahead of you, and that's a life-altering experience, sweetheart. You can't possibly know what awaits you, and you're lucky to have the chance to go. You're never alone in this life, even if it feels that way, and once you get to school, you're going to meet people who think and feel just like you, and people who make you feel like the lovely, intelligent and worthwhile person you are. Hang in there and if you're having a really rough time, reach out to some people online. Chances are there's someone else out there who needs to talk, too.

Answer 10

See Dr about how your feeling i know whats its like when someone goes away you worry about them try to enjoy your self remember they will be back soon you could join a gym and wear make up make yourself look pretty going to collage good be the best thing you will make new mates and have fun don't take this to be the end has its the beginning i do believe 1 doors closes another opens good have fun xx

Answer 11

You could make like this is a mini vacation for you. Go out, get some fresh air, take in a movie, go window shopping. Do something different than your normal daily routine. Take a different route when driving or going somewhere. The change of pace won't make your woes go away, but it will put a different spin on the 'same old, same old' routine.