my cousin recentley broke up with her boyfriend. when i asked her why she said it was none of my business. when i was talkin to my mom about it she said not to tell anyone but her boyfriend told her that he was gay. she still hasn't told me herself and she doesn't know that i know. but when i went to his myspace i saw that he has a new boyfriend. my cousin is one of my closest friends and i wanna be there but she's embarassed and doesn't wanna admit it to me. what should i do?
2006-07-28 04:40:51 · 25 answers · asked by lhsdancehayla 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell her that you want to be there for her but don't talk about it unless she invites you to do so. Let her feel what she needs to feel to get herself back on track and then tell her once she does feel like talking that his being gay is no reflection on her. That she's a great person and that this is something a lot of people experience and it was all about her boyfriend and him accepting himself and nothing to do with her. Also tell her that you love her, are there for her and then take her out for whatever her definition of perfect fun is....and have a great time. Good luck.
2006-07-28 04:46:33 · answer #1 · answered by Lex 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When the time's right, talk to her with compassion, honesty, and acceptance. She didn't make her ex gay, there's nothing wrong with her, and there's nothing wrong with him. BOTH most likely continue to really care for each other, and each may be struggling to accept that one of society's prejudices is now upclose and personal. Growing from the experience is much healthier than feeling shamed or hateful about something that is a socially difficult but nevertheless real and normal aspect of humanity.
2006-07-28 05:05:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing to be honest. If she did not choose to confide in you, then that is her choice. To go to her and tell her that you found out serendipidously would shatter any trust there is between the two of you. Her ex-boyfriend is just that, her ex, though he may still be a close friend of hers it is her business. Maybe the boyfriend asked her not to say anything to anyone, thus be going to her and prying would break the trust between her and him. Best to simply leave the matter alone.
Just my 2 cents worth.
2006-07-28 04:44:06 · answer #3 · answered by capbarrow2 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea this happened to my fiance's cousin too! She was really crazy about this guy and they dated forever, but he couldn't decide if he was gay or not, after about 2 years of dating he dumped her because he made up his mind. She had a really hard time talking to Josh and I about it but she eventually came around and told us. I know it's something that was really hard for her to deal with so you can just remind your cousin that you're always there for her to listen, but don't let her know that you know, otherwise she'll lose all faith and confidence in the people that she did trust and tell.
2006-07-28 04:46:37 · answer #4 · answered by A.Marie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is hurt and embarrassed that she would have been taken in so easily and apparently so deeply. Giver her time, mind your own business, but always be ready for her to spill the beans is you are really as close as you say. You don't mention ages, so, the younger, the sooner time will heal the problem. She will be more cautious next time. It is possible it is his fake way of dumping her if he has no b**ls.
2006-07-28 04:48:15 · answer #5 · answered by thebushman 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give your cousin time, she is probably embarrassed and humiliated and doesn't know how to tell you.
She probably needs a little time to get herself together.
And she will come around when she is ready. You'll see. For now continue to be there for her even if she doesn't see it that way yet, she will eventually know she had your support all this time.
2006-07-28 04:49:02 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you 2 are so close, this can be one of those things you make fun of your cousin for. Make it humorous instead of embarassing for her. And tell her straight forwardly that you know what happened. boyfriends and girlfriends come and go... but family is always there.
2006-07-28 04:44:19 · answer #7 · answered by lupering 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for your cousin to bring up the subject.
I am sure she is humiliated about the situation.
But she should be glad that the guy was honest and will realize this after the shock has worn off.
When she tells you, be supportive.
2006-07-28 04:43:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wander across his page while on the computer with your friend around. This may help her understand her relationship, and realize that most guys won't have the same issues. Really. She may have an unusual view of men.
2006-07-28 04:44:34 · answer #9 · answered by BigPappa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have to give her time to adjust to what happen it not everyday that your man leave u for another man that is Fu** up and hard to deal with must women would rather be left for another women not a men. It hard to be left for a women even hard to be left for a men give her time she will come around
2006-07-28 04:47:15 · answer #10 · answered by poohbearbear 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋