My dad wants me to meet his cousins, that I've met when I was a baby, but I don't remember them. I just recently met his other family. He knows that I don't like to meet a lot of people at once, or if I do meet a bunch of people at once I have to have a place that I can get away for a while. Either we would go over to their house or they would come over here. Either way most of the attention would be on me & I don't deal with that very well. How do I remind him of that, without hurting his feelings? What kind of clothes should I wear for this thing?
2006-07-28 04:27:59 · 10 answers · asked by Goddess Princess Minky 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
First off, wear long pants and a long sleeve shirt (if it isn't too obvious in the hot summer weather). I know that having a stranger touch your bare skin can trigger higher anxiety if you are stressed out already in the first place. You'll feel less vulnerable being more physically covered.
Second of all, tell him that you want to make a good impression on his family, and that when you get nervous you feel like you aren't as open and friendly as you could be. I also hate being around new people (my girlfriend will bring me to parties where I know nobody), and I just tell her that "it's the way I am. I wish I could help it, but for now I can't. We're just going to have to work around it so that I don't get too stressed out."
2006-07-28 04:33:44 · answer #1 · answered by craftman 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, he must be very proud of you since he seems to want to kind of "show you off", so feel lucky in that respect. I would suggest having them come to your house so that you will be on familiar territory. Also, if they're from out of town, maybe there is a festival or some site in your town you could go to that would take some of the attention off just you. You may just have to grit your teeth and get through the day, but if you need to "get away", use the excuse that you need to use the restroom and spend a few minutes in there re-composing yourself.
As far as what to wear, just something casual that you feel comfortable in. Not ripped up jeans and a t-shirt, but maybe some nice pants and a shirt. Hope all goes well.
2006-07-28 11:39:07 · answer #2 · answered by carrie love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just nicely tell him that you would be more @ ease
meeting them a few @ a time, if possible, I'm sure he will
understand. Maybe you could have there visits spread
out during the week. A few come one day then so on & so on. If they come to your house just wear some nice
shorts that are not too short & a nice t-shirt.
Good luck
2006-07-28 11:33:31 · answer #3 · answered by start 6-22-06 summer time Mom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wear whatever is comfortable to you. Be yourself. They are family, afterall, and should be able to accept the total you -- both good and bad. You, as well, should accept them and try to show some interest in finding out who they are and what makes them tick. You may learn something about your family history that will absolutely enthrall you. I'm not good in meeting with large groups either but I recognize that most of my problem stems from being self-centered and worrying too much about what people will think of ME. I try to focus on trying to find out about them and find that I end up being more comforable.
2006-07-28 11:33:55 · answer #4 · answered by BigRichGuy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hi Minky,
I can totally relate to your question. It sounds like you might have what I have, which is social anxiety. The way I get through these kinds of things (besides medication :) is to focus on the people I have to meet. I think of a lot of questions I can ask them about their lives - do they go to school or work, about their pets, boyfriends/girlfriends. You'll find most people are happy to talk for hours about themselves, which takes the pressure off of you. With each successful question you ask, and their answers (and their happiness at your interest in them!) you will feel more confident about relating to a lot of people.
This also makes me more at ease, then, when they ask questions about me (which makes me nervous) and my life.
Good luck girl. I definitely know how it feels!
2006-07-28 11:34:52 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the more you put yourself in those types of uncomfortable situations the easier it will get. you are going to have to do this the rest of your life. wear something nice nice shirt and pants whatever. another thing, family is one thing that you should keep in touch with, i hadnt seen my cousins and aunts uncles for 8 years and saw them at a wedding last fall. eventough i barely remembered them, they are family and theres something about family that is easy to know and hang out with.
2006-07-28 11:34:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honestly you just need to tell him how you feel and he should understand. Tell him that you do not mean to be offensive but you want to feel comfortable. Also Pray before you do it. And as far as clothes i am not sure just wear something semi formal
2006-07-28 11:36:56 · answer #7 · answered by Pobedy S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try being a grown up and do this for your father, make him proud. Dress casual but tasteful.
2006-07-28 11:33:36 · answer #8 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WHATEVER YOU DO JUST PUT YOUR BEST SMILE AND A PRETTY DRESS OR PRETTY OUTFIT.
JUST SAY HELLO AND SMILE YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY ANYTHING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO
WHEN YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE THEN YOU CAN SAY MORE.
BRING YOUR HEADPHONE ,OR IPOD OR MP3 AND LISTEN TO MUSIC IF YOU WANT TO AND SIT OUTSIDE AWAY FOR AWHILE.
2006-07-28 11:47:19 · answer #9 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simple, say like this. dad, i have attend home work or studies. otherwise i have to attend some urgent work. so go to attend your work seriously. o.k.
2006-07-28 11:44:08 · answer #10 · answered by prince47 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋