Willys cynical thought for the day;
If you'll come to my funeral I'll freaking go to yours!
We need = I want
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later
We need to talk = I need to complain
Sure...Go ahead = I don't want you to
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
You're ... so manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'm not emotional! And I'm not over reacting! = I've got my period
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs
This kitchen is so inconvenient = I want a new house
I want new curtains = and carpeting, and furniture, and wallpaper.....
I need wedding shoes = the other 40 pairs are the wrong shade of white
Hang the picture there = NO, I mean hang it there!
I heard a noise = I noticed you were almost asleep
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive
How much do you love me? = I did something today you're really not going to like
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a good game on T.V.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me
Are you listening to me!? = [Too late, you're dead.]
Yes = No
No = No
Maybe = No
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry
Do you like this recipe? = It's easy to fix, so you'd better get used to it
Was that the baby? = Why don't you get out of bed and walk him until he goes to sleep
I'm not yelling! = Yes I am yelling because I think this is important
All we're going to buy is a soap dish = It goes without saying that we're stopping at the cosmetics department, the shoe department, I need to look at a few new purses, and those pink sheets would look great in the bedroom and did you bring your checkbook?
And especially; guys make multiple prints of this un, I can't remember all the times this lil knowledge has saved me;
Is my butt fat? = Tell me I'm beautiful please
THE ANSWER TO A FEMALE SAYING "WHAT'S WRONG?".....
The same old thing = Nothing
Nothing = Everything
Everything = My PMS is acting up
Nothing, really = It's just that you're such a pain in the butt
I don't want to talk about it = Go away, I'm still building up steam
THE WOMEN'S GUIDE TO MEN'S ENGLISH
"I'm hungry" = I'm hungry
"I'm sleepy" = I'm sleepy
"I'm tired" = I'm tired
"Do you want to go to a movie?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
"Can I take you out to dinner?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
"Can I call you sometime?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
"May I have this dance?" = I'd eventually like to have sex with you
"Nice dress!" = Nice cleavage!
"You look tense; let me give you a massage." = I want to fondle you
"What's wrong?" = I don't see why you are making such a big deal out of this
"What's wrong?" = What meaningless self-inflicted psychological trauma are you going through now?
"What's wrong?" = I guess sex tonight is out of the question
"I'm bored" = Do you want to have sex?
"I love you" = Let's have sex now
"I love you, too" = Okay, I said it...we'd better have sex now!
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = I liked it better before
"Yes, I like the way you cut your hair" = $50 and it doesn't look any different!
"Let's talk" = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and maybe then you'd like to have sex with me
"Will you marry me?" = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex with other guys
"I like that one better" (while shopping) = Pick any freakin' dress and let's go home!!!
http://www.total-knowledge.com/~willyblues/
2006-07-28 04:25:53 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Jokes & Riddles
From; WILLYS JOKES 7/24/06 Taking a Shower! Best jokes online
2006-07-28 04:26:16 · update #1
okay so you think you have us figured out do you? = no you haven't , you just gave us all the information we need to burn you in the future. lol
2006-07-28 04:48:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 3⤋
I think that you have way to much time on your hands
2006-07-28 11:39:15 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ahahaha. not necessarily true but funny.
2006-07-28 11:29:09 · answer #3 · answered by Forest_aude 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That's great...
2006-07-28 11:31:36 · answer #4 · answered by butterfliesRfree 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
omg! that is sooo true!! i am going to copy it and send it to my husband...he'll crack up!!
2006-07-28 11:30:10 · answer #5 · answered by irishmomof3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
"There's no problem" = "You had better start running NOW!"
2006-07-28 11:28:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you are the master!
2006-07-28 11:33:48 · answer #7 · answered by xxxx 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL. I liked it. LOL.
2006-07-28 13:23:15 · answer #8 · answered by jfmm 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hey that's cool!! :)
2006-07-28 11:27:25 · answer #9 · answered by [[keetr//mary]] 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok......................
2006-07-28 11:27:39 · answer #10 · answered by NBGirl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋