Is there any way you christians could hurry the rapture along somehow?

Question

I mean you've all been yipping about it for ages now and you're all still here. I'm getting sick of seeing those inane bumper stickers that read "in case of rapture this vehicle will be empty" looks like god thinks it's ok to allow a moving vehicle to crash into whatever or whomever gets in the way, very kind of him.
So please, could you hurry the process along somehow? I'd certainly be willing to donate to the cause.
Anything that get's you brain-dead zealots out of our hair. That way we can get on with cleaning up your mess and living an idyllic life without having to worry about some well-dressed zombies coming to our door at 9am on a saturday morning to preach about thier "love" for a magic sky-pixie!
Thanks, we appreciate it.

'chdoctor'
it's a documented fact that the higher the IQ, the lower the tolerance for fairytales and mythology. And since that is what religion is, you find very few PHD's who will refer to themselves as "fundamentalist" christians.
The generalization is a fair one. When you have people who discount the facts around Evolution because "Evolution is just a theory" without knowing what the word "theory" means in a scientific context (and they are completely uninterested in learning either) then the epithet sticks. And that, after all, is what you're upset about. Not that I've said what I did, but that I'm right and you know it.

Answer 1

they can't hurry it along because it's a bunch of crap

Answer 2

Well, I'm almost certain your question was meant to inflame, but if you were serious, and you are certainly willing to donate to the cause, please do, because we want to leave as much as you want us to leave. No offense, but this is not our home.
Now, those answers that say the Bible says, "go unto all the earth and preach the Good News, then the end will come" are correct. You obviously have heard the Gospel message and have chosen to reject it. Your choice and in the fact that you've heard the Good News, then you have done your part. Good job and thank you.
Now if you want to speed up the process, then the next time you are in your car, and you drive by a Christian church that looks like it has a full time staff (and I mean that someone will be there) walk in and tell them, "Look, I'm an atheist and I've heard about the rapture all my life and I'm sick of you guys being here. Now I've been told that the gospel needs to reach the entire earth for that to happen, so here's a check, go buy some Bibles and send them somewhere far far away." They will love it. I don't mean HAHA love it, what a funny joke. I mean they will love it that you are willing to do your part to get us out of here.
Like I said, if you are serious, that's a good place to start and I am praying for multiplied successes in your campaign to get us out of here!

Answer 3

Well , I will attempt to answer this with as much charity as possible.

There is nothing at all that anyone can do to hurry the process, that is entirely in our God's hands.
But you sir should be glad that it has not happened yet ,for it is obivious that heaven is not at this time your Eternal destination!
.
You still have time to realize that you are a sinner,repent, and accept Jesus Christ into your Heart & life, thereby becoming a Christian yourself. I feel sure that many of the" Brain Dead Zealots" you speak of ,includung myself, are praying for you to do just that. By the way you should be aware that this is the reason that some well dressed zombies concern themselves enough to get dressed up and take time away from their families and leisure pursuits.They have a real concern for souls, wanting as many as possible to escape the other Eternity of Hell.

Answer 4

Aha, the ol' "brain-dead zealots" generalization!

Many times per hour a question poser or responder in this category will claim that all Christians or all religious people in general are “dumb,” “ignorant,” “stupid,” or something of this nature. No substantiation will be given for this theory (statistics related to IQ tests, grade point averages, etc.). Broad sweeping generalizations like this fail to take into account the intelligence diversity in any large group. The accusation, ironically, appears dumb, ignorant, or stupid itself. It ends up being little more than unsubstantiated name-calling.

How then shall we respond once this has occurred? If we remain silent, the simple-minded among us might actually believe that all of a certain people group lack intelligence, so silence is not an option. If those outside the category of Christians or religious people would disavow incorrect and unnecessarily belittling attacks, then perhaps peer pressure from their own group would cause them to pursue correct and helpful discussion point. If Christians in particular and religious people in general will politely articulate the incorrectness of this fallacy without seeking retribution, then perhaps it will take away the perceived benefits of the name-calling in the first place.

Brothers and sisters in Christ, look carefully at such accusations and ask for the Spirit’s leading on whether this is one of those “turn the other cheek” moments (Matt 5:39) or one of those “be prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you” moments (1 Pet 3:15).

May God bless the constructive dialog in this category.

Answer 5

The rapture is in the hands of God. In case you haven't noticed, we ARE living in the last days. Get your house in order Yoda (to those who don't know what that means, it means get right with God and accept His Son into you lives before it's too late.) What makes you think you're going to escape the rapture? It's going to happen whether you believe it or not and no one knows when or where. You had better get you life straight young man or God will teach you a lesson. Have a blessed day.

Answer 6

There's no such thing as a "rapture". God is against those who teach his children to"fly" from danger.
This false doctrine was started by a deluded woman around the turn of the last century( 18 sumthin ) and gained a following of people who were and still are to lazy to read the bible with any sort of discipline or understanding.

Answer 7

Maybe if the central heating could be turned up out there a little bit more it would bring it all to a speedy end for us all. Meanwhile I suggest a bowl of cold water for the feet works wonders. And maybe an ice-pack on the brow. A beer and a cigerette and your favorite album. Head-phones for the sake of the rest of the family and neighbours. Enjoy.

Answer 8

No there is no way to hurry it along. Man cannot control it. There are people who are trying now to hurry it along. It can't be done. These people should let it alone and you alone.

If they are believers they know it will be done in God's time, not theirs. If "these people" think God will let us kill by letting empty cars run into others, they need to read the bible instead of fiction books written on the subject.

Answer 9

I can't wait for the days (and hopefully I'll still be alive for it) when space travel is safe and economical and some religious nut bag decides that all the 'good' christians need to spread their seed throughout the universe.

Bad luck for the aliens, good luck for the rest of us. Hopefully the aliens are armed to the teeth and don't come back here thinking we're like the Cosmic Ark.

Answer 10

Agreed. How can so much blame be put in the name of "GOD" Hurricanes, earthquakes, tornadoes, car wrecks, etc... If god is so merciful, why would he let little girls be raped by dirty old bastards, then killed in their basement? Thanks god! Nice job on that one, ya asshole. And if someone is a jerk, etc, I hear so many people saying, you're rude! You need Jesus in your life! God and or Jesus don't give a **** about anyone. lol. But if he is real, I agree with this guy, and you should all hurry up and make your way to him. Born again Christian my ***.

Answer 11

The end will come when the gospel is preached to all people groups. I know some missionaries who could use a couple of million dollars. Do you want to give it?