What's wrong with my mother?

Question

I have lived with my father for eight years. She left him for some random guy and had a child with him. My sister and I wanted to live with my father because we didn't like her boyfriend and I didn't want to change schools and leave my stuff behind. Her boyfriend ended up beating her and she left.

We used to go visit her everyother weekend. But she got more and more irresponsible. She started doing a lot of drugs and sleeping with everyone.

I was talking to one of my mother's old friends (who I am now good friends with) and she said she had been finding threatening messages on her answering machine for her brother-in-law. They said "I want you to kill her (referring to my mother's friend.) I want you to slit her throat and let her bleed to death. When you do it, call me. I want to watch her die." That really scared me. Then apparently she acted like it never happened.

What should I do? I want to put her in a home or something but everyone says shes alright.

There is more but I ran out of room. I'm only fourteen and I don't know if I'm old enough to make much of a difference.

Also, ten years ago she had brain surgery. My father blames that for her change, but I think she had always been like this.

Answer 1

Things look bleak for your mother and appear to be getting worse. Be thankful and take advantage of any stability your father has and is offering. It is next to impossible to help a self destructive person even if they want help (and it doesn't sound like your mother does).

An adult would have trouble committing your mother unless she became a clear danger to others. Such a procedure also is limited in what it can accomplish.

Remember you are 14. Don't let your mother's troubled behavior distract you from your own present life tasks which will prepare you for your future,

You might think about getting some counseling yourself to relieve some of your obvious stress. Alinon works with the families of alcoholics and drug abusers to help the family cope with the disturbed behavior of someone they love.

Good luck to you.

Answer 2

This is way too deep for a teenager to deal with. Your mother obviously has very serious problems that only professionals can help her with. At the very least, she's threatening when she is strung out on drugs. The person who received the messages should take this concern to the police and ask them to intervene. You are not responsible for what others do; certainly not an adult while you are just growing up. You cannot put her into a home; this is something for the adults in your family to deal with while they encourage you to live a normal life with school and friends and appropriate activities for your age. Good luck and God bless you.

Answer 3

If she is threatening violence like that and is commiting self-destructive behavior, the best thing to do would be to talk to a mental health proffessional, or police officer that would know the laws better, about getting her commited. It is better for everyone if she's put in a place that will prevent her from hurting herself or others. There they have the resources to find the source of the problem and help her. With treatment she could possibly recover. Without it she'll spiral further downward and probably seriously hurt herself or someone else.

Answer 4

Any kind of surgery or damage on the brain HAS TO affect a person somewhat...but yeah, it really does sound like she already had some issues to begin with. Sounds like she's not satisfied with life and searching for something. Also seems like she's an attention seeker...a lot of times, people who wnat to be the center of attention are willing to do just about anything to be in the limelight...even if it means doing something crazy just as long as someone notices. Bad attention is better than none. With attention, she's getting the reassurance that people are still thinking about her. She could be Bipolar/Manic Depressive....see if you can somehow speak with a psychiatrist and get their opinion. It's good to hear that you haven't just written her off despite her issues...you really do care. Let her know that.

Answer 5

Sorry that u have 2 go through this so early in your life. There is not much that you can do to help your mother, she is grown and u r not. Worry about yourself, ask for help from a guidance counselor, pastor from the church, boys & girls club, there are so many places that a teen can receive help from. The reason that I recommend for u to receive counseling is because I dont want you to blame your self when u get older or even worse follow her foot steps. You cannot change no one but yourself. best of luck,

Answer 6

could be the brain surgery, could just be the way your mom is. thats a sad story but unfortunately, you cant just put her in a home.

maybe an intervention would help!?

or contact oprah...then have her bring your mom on her show and explain whats going on. maybe your mom doesnt realize how serious her situation is and how much its hurting you and your sister.

Answer 7

I don't believe you are old enough to commit her anywhere. If I were I would talk to a medical proffessional about the situation. Ask your father for help in doing so.

Answer 8

your mother obviously needs psychological help... you can call or someone can call your closest mental health facility and they can have her evaluated, if they think she is a harm to herself or someone else, they can go from there... she isn't allright, her drugs, and possibly something from her brain surgery is making her act this way.

Answer 9

as you get older and go through menopause a person changes...you need to get proof of the threats and go to the cops even if you are 14 they will do something.

Answer 10

she is experiencing an emotional turmoil, and try to understand her...learn more about the real and both sides of the story and then decide what you want to do