and do it with grace,,since in your family you are the back bone,, but your hurting so bad and the back bone is weak right now.. please help..
2006-07-28 04:04:14 · 14 answers · asked by jazzmine2003 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Talk to people, other family members, friends....don't bottle up your feelings, it isn't a sign of weakness to lean a little on others sometimes, even if its normally them that lean on you.
2006-07-28 04:09:55 · answer #1 · answered by ukstubby 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My father died of cancer and it was very hard to watch him suffer. Many many times I wished there was some way to remove the cancer from him but there wasn't. All you can do is just be there for the person, talk to them, comfort them and let them know how much you love them. It's ok to not be strong all the time, we're only human. When he died, he had such a peaceful look on his face and it was then that I realized how much he had suffered without saying so. He's in a much better place now and he's not suffering anymore. All that matters is that you are there for them and will stay by them until the end.
2006-07-28 11:17:52 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't take this the wrong way - it's not about you.
Be there for that person and make their life everything you can while you have the chance.
Too many people have gone without ever having the chance to say goodbye. This is an opportunity to say goodbye in your own way, whether it be a short or long goodbye. Your strength will be pushed to the limit but have faith in yourself and let this person know that you will be ok and you will carry on with the respect and dignity that they know you possess. Hang in there - I wish you the best and know you will keep your head up, because you are the backbone of the family for a reason !
2006-07-28 11:17:05 · answer #3 · answered by jarhed 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a friend right now dying of cancer. She has the single cell kind and it is spreading rapidly. There is not a easy way to watch someone die. It is perfect hell. You go through all kinds of emotions. Sometimes you fell guilty for things you think or because you don't want to have to see them. God has given you a special mission. I would suggest a lot of praying, and you have to be unbelievably kind and gentle and sweet. Both of my parents died last year, my mother took 7 months to pass away.
I cried a lot, I desperately ran around trying to do everything possible for her. I talked to her friends, wrote letters, paid her bills and spent many hours just looking at her. Even though she was very sick and could not have lived any longer, I still wish I had her. It is so hard. I wish you luck and sanity. God Bless!
2006-07-28 11:13:49 · answer #4 · answered by moonsister_98 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I been there and done that and I know it's not easy. Just have faith that you will get through it. You can't watch someone die and do it with grace...especially a family member. Make the most of the time you have left with the person and hold on to the memories that you have of that person when they're gone. God will help you through.
2006-07-28 11:15:38 · answer #5 · answered by makeitclap23 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to a hospice agency (any hospital should be able to give you references, along with the local chapter of the American Cancer Society). They can provide grief counseling for you... It may sound trite, but what you need right now is some impartial person to cry to, scream at about the injustice of it all, and generally be able to break down in front of, so that you don't have to expose your weakness to your other family members.
My heart goes out to you.
2006-07-28 11:15:38 · answer #6 · answered by Brutally Honest 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I went through this . On the day my daughter was born July 23, 2005, my husbands grandfather found out that he had panceratic caner. My husband had a rough time dealing with it, but he wanted to be the strong one. I was able to help him deal with what was going on. I was the only one he could open up to. When his grandfather passed 6 months later, it was the hardest thing for all of us. It is ok to cry and let everyone know how you feel, no one expects you to be he strong one, but they do appreciate that you are helping hold them up.
Confide how you feel to your best friend, sometimes in times like this it is best to talk to someone outside the family. They can be your shoulder to cry on, and help you stay strong for your family. Its a tough job to be the strong one, we all have been there.
2006-07-28 11:25:16 · answer #7 · answered by sunflowerlizard 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know what it's like to watch a family member completely slip away, but my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer in 1997. She is in remission, but her personality and intelligence took a terrible hit. She is very slowly recovering some piece of who she was, but the mother I grew up with is long gone.
I am the oldest of three siblings, so I had to take care of things for a while when I wasn't in college. I coped by leaning on my friends and searching for support wherever I could find it. And I knew when I needed to take time for myself.
You have my sympathy and my prayers. And feel free to e-mail me if you need to get anything off your chest.
2006-07-28 11:14:23 · answer #8 · answered by spacejohn77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who made you the back bone? My guess is you did. It's ok to grieve, and it's not shamefull to feel helpless at the moment. Relationships are about give and take. Maybe it's time for someone else to give to you. Tell them how you feel and what you need from them. Otherwise, how will they know.
2006-07-28 11:09:56 · answer #9 · answered by t79a 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well hun I just went through this with my mom in March she fought lung cancer for a year and it was very hard I had to be the backbone.I am so sorry I will pray for you
2006-07-28 13:32:24 · answer #10 · answered by sashaaspen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋