3 and a half year crying at preschool...?

Question

he's been going for a little over a year--everyday he gets hysterical when i drop him off for the past two weeks all of the sudden...i have a 6 month old as well...teachers say he has been negative nad hitting kids but my son tells me the kids are hitting him? he's showing signs of jealousy at home too..always saying i love you i love you to me and taking things away from the baby and blaming him for things that go wrong.

Answer 1

it sounds like some sibling rivalry. when a new baby comes along, big brothers and sisters often get jealous because mom and dad are having to spend so much time focused on the baby. at six months, babies are beginning to be more independent, but are still very needy. three year-olds are typically going through a very selfish stage and feel that the world revolves around them. right now, he's just going through a jealous phase. he will soon outgrow the crying at preschool. in the meantime, carve out a period of time every day where you focus only on him. find someone to watch the baby. take your older son to the park or to mcdonald's or just play a game with him at home. make him feel that he is the only other person in the world. talk with him about his feelings about the baby and offer him some positve feedback about the things he's doing right.

Answer 2

Maybe he thinks the 6 month old stays with you while he goes to daycare. Drop off the 6 month old first. In the afternoon, pick up your 3 year old first. That might stop the crying.
This is also a good time to teach some feeling words to your child. My three year old can say "I am frustrated", "That makes me angry", and "That's not fair" (my personal favorite) These words have helped her temper around her 11 month old brother. Try pointing out things that your older son can do that the baby can't. They love that.
Also, you may need to help your son problem solve at school because the teachers may not be proactive. Role play what to do if a child takes his toy, or if he wants a toy that another child has. Talking won't work, that is too abstract for a 3 year old mind. Teach him how to trade toys for ones he wants, or to use his words to ask for a turn later. (Trading toys will help at home because little guy is about to start wanting big brother's toys)
3 is such a tough little age and its hard to be a big brother/sister. Good luck!

Answer 3

Maybe he needs to be babied a little bit. Immagine what you would feel like if your husband brought home a new wife and everybody made a big deal over her and treated you like old news. At first she sat around and did nothing then she started getting into all your territory and everyone thought she was great . Now add to that your husband started dropping you off everyday at work (preschool) and leaving you there while he went home to be with the new wife. You may get jealus and begin to act out too.
Maybe if you try to do some one on one stuff with him and focus on what he does right. Give him lots of praise and say things like " The baby can't do this he /she is too young." and " You are such a big boy! I am so proud of you!" after a few weeks of this he may become more secure with the added family member and his place in your family and return to better behavior.

Answer 4

I think he feels that your not giving him the love you use to when he was an only child. That way he is going to act out toget your attention and lie to you while doing it. When I gave birth to my daughter 2 1/2 years ago I had some real problems with my now 4 1/2 year old. He started to act out and at daycare he would always get in trouble. What I did was set aside a time during the day for like 30 mins to an hour for just me and him so he knew I was still there and loved him. It started to help. Now I have a new obstacle with my daughter here in a few eeks. At least I've been through it before. Good Luck and I hope something works!!

Answer 5

I would definitely make sure nothing is going on at school. Like problems with another student or even problems with the teacher. I work in a with kindergarten children and I will have to say it is absolutely impossible to see EVERYTHING that goes on. Children are very slick even at a young age. They know what they can get away with and when. As a mother I would suggest going to observe (just a friendly visit) for an hour or 2 just to see what exactly is going on. Also, it is possible that there is a problem with an adult there. It's not unheard of for there to be a personality conflict between a teacher and student. Everyone doesn't always get along even in a school environment. Also try to sit down with your son and ask him what's going on. Don't be mom who tells him he is being bad just try to find out whats going on. If it really is him just acting like a fool :) try a behavior calendar. Everyday he has good behavior at home/school put a sticker on that day of the calendar. At the end of the week if he has so many stickers (you determine how many would be appropriate) have a reward for him like a mommy & son date to the park or out to eat or whatever. That worked for my son when he was having problems in kindergarten. Sorry i wrote a book....hope it helps!

Answer 6

Hi.Your son is showing signs of jealousy toward the baby. Have you ever sat down with both of them and have them play with each other?Try to sit them down together and have a little more family time where the two kids play and interact more with each other.If you see where he is taking stuff away from the baby,that's when you tell him how to share.Remind him all the time that he and the baby are brothers (family) and that he should care and be kind to him.In turn he should become more careful with the way he plays with other kids as well as his little brother
p.s. and tell him that you love him too!!! GOOD LUCK!

Answer 7

I have three kids 6,4 and 5 months. When I had my youngest son everything was ok with the new baby because he slept a lot, now that hes awake for most of the day and demmands a lot of mommy's attention my daughter which is the 4 year old (just turned 4) throws temper tantrums constantly. She screams and throws things. I know she does it to get my attentoin but, its hard to show equal attention to all of your kids when you have a baby.
At baby's naptime or floor time I try to do special activities with the older kids so they know that they are important to me too. Arts and kraft project, coloring, board games or popcorn and movie is their favorite.

Answer 8

Is the six month old hitting some developmental milestones right now and becoming more mobile? (Sitting up or starting to crawl?) I saw *NO* sibling problems with my kids until the baby would hit that sitting up/starting to crawl stage and then the older one would start acting out because the baby was suddenly a "threat" who could get into the older kids stuff!

Answer 9

Your 6 month old is probably reaching milestones and your son is jealous about that. My kids never showed any jealousy towards each other until they were sitting up, crawling, and now they are jealous and fight all the time. You could always talk to your son's doctor about what is going on and see what he suggests. With my son they suggested taking him to see a specialist for his behavior.

Answer 10

The reason he is doing is this because he thinks that your 6 month old is getting more attention than him. The reason he is crying a preschool is because he doesn't want to go and stay with you. Well about hitting his friends at preschool talk to him about it. One day try keeping him home from preschool so he can spend time with you. Then see how it goes.