and if you did what are the questions they ask you??? The church I choose requires 6 couseling sesions,4 together and two separte.and I was just wondering what they ask you.I dont want to say something wrong and him not want to marry us.
2006-07-28 03:27:42 · 13 answers · asked by amber 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I went through a pastor of a church I didn't go to. Only because the church I use to attend, the pastor I wanted had retired. The individual there did not require counseling however offered that it was available. I think we had like three sessions. It was actually good to have them. He will talk about both sides of the family. He may even have you take a test, which will help him or her help the both of you. There is no wrong answer. Unless your saying that he beats you up. In which case, I don't think you need the pastor to tell you that your in a bad relationship. By being honest he can help you and your husbands relationship out.
2006-07-28 10:00:13 · answer #1 · answered by Mae V 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all, relax. Chances are very slim that you could say anything to make him refuse to perform the ceremony.
Premarital counseling is really about helping you and your groom make sure you've talked about the important issues in a marriage (finances, children, sex, in-laws, etc.). The idea is to make sure you both know where the other stands on certain big issues.
It's also a way to help you learn conflict resolution. No two people agree on everything. When you don't agree, you have to have the tools to resolve the issue.
You may each have to take a personality inventory (or test). This will help him see where your areas of friction are most likely to be. For instance, if you're a planner and he's a spur-of-the-moment guy, this could cause trouble. However, if you know this ahead of time and work out some compromises, there's less chance of this becoming something that will drive a wedge between you.
Don't be nervous. This is really for the best. Be open and honest. This could help you build a strong marriage.
2006-07-28 04:54:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not sure what counseling sessions would cover. Some churches do require that a couple planning to marry at that church must take classes. It is usually done in a classroom setting rather than one on one counseling. I know that the classes usually cover things like finances, getting a good start in married life, etc.
2006-07-28 05:55:42 · answer #3 · answered by Irish1952 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each church requires different pre-marital activities. My church requires six weeks of pre-marital counseling. It was with all the other coulples in the church that would be getting married within the year. Some of the questions revolved around how to deal with arguments and vital decisions in a marriage. Our pastor also separted the women from the men and his wife sat in with the women and we talked about sex, children, money etc. It was very benefitial to us. I think everyone should go through counseling before they get married. It allows certain topics to come up that you may not think about.
2006-07-28 03:50:22 · answer #4 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Each church requires different sessions for their couples. Personally I could not understand as to why they feel the need to counsel people in all of these sessions.
If i were you, don't worry about correct answer. If they do not want to marry you, get an officiant.
2006-07-28 07:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by Scarlett 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not married but my friends who are married, and did so in a church, went through marriage counseling. It's not about the clergy people trying to interview you to see if you all should get married...it's about YOU recognizing if you are ready to marry that person. The sessions bring up questions about your past experiences and goals that sometimes people don't discuss during the courting period. My friends said they asked about past relationships, disclosing the number of sexual partners, ideas about having children/parenting, and financial ideals. I think you should go through with it and really make it clear what your future goals are so that you two can grow together on one accord.
Good luck!
2006-07-28 03:51:16 · answer #6 · answered by lil_miss_education 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I went through what was called Pre-marriage Mentoring. We had 6 sessions but it wasn't really counseling. We had a book that we answered questions in and the mentors just went over the book with us. If they felt they had to make comment or tell their personal experience then they did. But, all of our sessions were together.
2006-07-28 03:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by Coco 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
".I dont want to say something wrong and him not want to marry us. " Then you shouldn't be getting married in a church. If you are going to shade your answers to 'try and get them right', that's not telling the truth, and that won't be helpful at all and won't put you right in the eyes of your god. Either tell the truth or get married elsewhere, in a civil ceremony.
"When you got married did you have to take counseling from the church? " No, because we did not get married in a church.
2006-07-28 04:52:29 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm getting married next year and it was a requirement for my pastors to marry us to attend 12 sessions of couseling. Its been beneficial.
2006-07-28 07:35:20 · answer #9 · answered by Diva 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you want to get married in THAT church & counselling is THEIR guidlines/rules, then YES you have to take the classes. And usually they AREN'T free.
They will want to see how the two of you get along; if you understand the seriousness of marriage; if you are compatible; do you fight fairly; those sorts of things. There are no right & wrong answers.
2006-07-28 03:36:52 · answer #10 · answered by weddrev 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋