Am I too young??

Question

All my friends want me to dump my bf cuz he's 27 i'm 19 they say the age difference is too much and it'll never work.. What do you think?

Answer 1

That you should DUMP HIM NOW.

Answer 2

In the grand scheme of things you are getting the advice to dump because of the stage of life you are in. The younger you are, the more the age gap means. Eight years...hmmmm..let's say he was 48 and you were 40, the gap wouldn't mean a damn thing. Your friends and family wouldn't see a problem.

Here is a twist that you may want to consider though. We all go through stages in life. You are in a stage, I'm in a stage(I'm 43), and he is in a stage. It's rare that the stages mix in a true way until we are all older. Your concern should be is your boyfriend maturing? If he has stopped maturing and is going to remain in the 20 year old stage, what are you going to do when you continue to mature and grow as a person and he does not?

Look at that and give yourself honest answers. Look at him and ask yourself honest questions. When you are a mature 35 year old and he has not grown as a person one day in the 15 years? That may be an issue.

So, if you are just dating him for a while to have fun and have someone to go out with, all is well. If you are thinking serious long term relationship, it's time to ask yourself questions.

Tom

Answer 3

I am nine years older then my wife. But, when we got married, I was 40, and she was 32. I don't think its so much the age difference that is the issue, as much as the age you are currently at now. Don't get me wrong! Some girls your age are more mature then others who are in their mid-30's. But, at the age of 19, love tends to focus on the romantic and all the other ones attributes, and not look at the fact that you will be spending the rest of your life with this person, as well as not clearly seeing their flaws as well.

I would ask myself why he would want to be dating someone nine years younger then he, who is fresh out of high school. Often guys want to try to rekindle that magic spark they had back during their teens, and will find a young girl like you because they are desperately trying to, "grab the past". Other questions I would ask is, if this guy has been married before, how long has it been since his divorce, as well as does he always make it sound like it was his ex's fault whenever the subject comes up?

Plus, does the guy have a steady job? Is he living independly or is he still at home? Has he been in trouble with the law prior to this? Does he drink excessively and/or do drugs? I am not trying to pick him apart, but, whenever I see an older guy go after a teenage girl, I do get a little concerned.

Also, how about your lovelife up until this point? If you have never had a boyfriend until now, this guy probably sees it as the perfect opportunity to take advantage of a young girl who is starving for love and affection. How long have you two been dating? Has he tried to hit you up for money? Does he get demanding on sexual issues that you may feel a little uncomfortable with? Is he manipulative? Do you find yourself always giving in and saying "I'm sorry" when you're arguing, because you are scared he will leave you if you get him too angry? You do need to ask yourself these questions with an honest heart.

I am not trying to pressure you out of the relationship. But, I do hope you will take a step back, ask yourself these questions, and then maybe even ask him some of these things as well. You're young and have a great life ahead of you! Be very sure of the one you choose to spend the rest of it with, as well as when you choose to do so.

Answer 4

I married a 27 year old at 19 and it did not work I ended up alone with 2 babys any way go how you feel but do not rush things or let him push you into any thing

Answer 5

I'm in the same situation I'm 18 and my boy friend is 26, the thing is if you want to be with him then you stay with him. If your friends don't support you then they re not your friends at all. True friends stick with you no matter what the situation or no matter what you want your life to be. Its your heart, its your body. And say if you did break up in the future you can also learn from that mistake. Just listen to your heart and listen to what you want. Its all for you and no one else. My boyfriend and I are happy and my friends hated it at first, but they didn't know the real person that i saw. And when they get to know him they Loved him. Try it, it may work. Good Luck

Answer 6

Im 22 years old and i think that if the age difference is more than 5 years in any direction then its not good but since our age is only 3 years then i think we should get together

Answer 7

I've seen bigger age differences work out, and I've smaller age differences go bust. It's hard to say, but think about why your friends are telling you to break up. Is it really just the age difference? Do they not like your boyfriend? Is their advice good in general?

Just some stuff to consider....

Good luck.

Answer 8

I don't think that u are too young ....the age difference it's not a problem too big...if u love each other i think that nothing and no one should stay in your way!!! Happy relationship

Answer 9

depends on how you feel about him. a womans age is not always in the number. you may, at heart, be much older than 19. men are more immature then women are so it migh be that yall are the same age. go for it, older men are normally more secure in who they are and where they are going.

Answer 10

Age doesn't have nothing to do with it and your over age so your legally allowed to be with him. If you love him and your comfortable with him and he treats you right, I don't see why you can't be with him. If he's a really nice guy your friends might just be jealous. Just make sure he treats you right.

Answer 11

it is a bit large but hey there r many couples like u and it worked out for them. I dont think u should listen to them. it is how U BOTH feel that s important