my cousin with 3 grown up kids seperated from her hubby and now lives with her b/f . the children are angry and say that they will never accept this new man in their mothers life
is it wrong for children to feel that way towards their parents ? my cousins daughter keeps telling me that she is ashamed to tell her friends that her mother has a b/f
what do you think?
2006-07-28 02:18:22 · 17 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
I think she is entitled to be happy and her children are being selfish and childish.
2006-07-28 02:20:26 · answer #1 · answered by Quantrill 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your cousin's kids need to be more supportive of their mother. She is following a path that makes her happy and doesn't hurt anyone else. Clearly, it wasn't working with their father, for whatever reason. How can they forsake their own mother her happiness? They should be excited that their mother has been able to follow her own path. Of course, if religion comes into play, the whole divorce and, technically, adultery thing may be causing the problem.
This bf may be an incredible person. I can't believe they refuse to give him a chance. It is probably mostly because they deny that their parents would ever separate. That can be hard to deal with, even as adults. Lead by example and show kindness and love to all your family. Maybe they will come around. Maybe not, but at least your cousin is following her heart, not the dictates of another or of society.
2006-07-28 09:24:40 · answer #2 · answered by Phoenix, Wise Guru 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that i this day and age she shouldn't be embarrassed by her mother having a boyfriend. Obviously her parents have been having problems that caused for the separation. My parents separated when we were older also. They only stayed together because " of the kids". We knew that they were miserable, so when they said that they were separating and getting a divorce isn't wasn't a real big shock. We actually wondered what took so long. Because we were older, married ourselves we understood. We thought about it and figured that at their ages let them enjoy their lives while they still can. My mother has a boyfriend and my father has since remarried. they actually are all friends and family gatherings aren't uncomfortable any more because they are in love with whom they want to be. They love each other because of the kids they raised. I don't believe that they have remorse for their decision at that time in their lives they financially decided to stay together.They didn't actually divorce until my youngest brother graduated from college. Anyway my point is maybe they have their reasons for this action. But it is stupid to be embarrassed by a mother or fathers new partner...At least they are happy now....
2006-07-28 09:32:53 · answer #3 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I guess for the kids even though they are grown it may be hard. Was their mother with the bf while she was still with her husband? Maybe they wish she would divorce before moving on. I don't know. She needs to have a very honest and open talk with her children and her husband. if it is over then make it over for sure so no one has false hopes.
Love & Light
Sharon
One Planet = One People
2006-07-28 09:24:53 · answer #4 · answered by skippingsunday 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it is hard for a child to see their parents split up at any age. It is particularly hard when the one or both of the parents move on. Over time it will become easier for them but in the beginning it is always hard. In a nutshell time heals all wounds and they will have to learn to see their mother as a woman who has wants and needs.
2006-07-28 09:25:07 · answer #5 · answered by NJ 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The kids are wrong especially if they are over the age of 18. However, they are entitled to their feelings. I think someone needs to talk to them about how their behavior towards their mother's boyfriend will affect the mother. Their mother is allowed to move on with her life. If it weren't this guy, there would be someone else who would be her boyfriend so her kids need to deal with it amd learn to accept him.
2006-07-28 09:24:18 · answer #6 · answered by Lov'n IT! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong for the children to feel that way although they should try to be a friend to the bf at least. My mom did the same thing to me but my stepfather turned out to be an abusive totalitarian.
2006-07-28 09:24:59 · answer #7 · answered by vamp 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The children do not have to like the person in their moms life but I do think they have to respect him. I hope the parents explained to the children the reason for the brake up. If not they need too.
2006-07-28 09:25:19 · answer #8 · answered by Commander 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that it is okay and expected for the children to feel this way. Seeing as they are grown up, they will most likely to accept it as time goes on. It probably just hurts to see this happening.
2006-07-28 09:23:20 · answer #9 · answered by emilbean 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is natural for children to feel thins way. Their mother has to explain to them what is happening, and why things happen.
The children security blanket has been removed. They may fell insecure. They are afraid of the unknown. They need to be comforted and reassure.
I went through all that.
2006-07-28 09:28:00 · answer #10 · answered by LP S 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It took me a while to accept it. My mom was single my whole life and then suddenly got married.My dad as a scum bag so it's a bit different, but accepting a new parent is tough.
In your case, the kids will accept it eventually. It will just take a while.
2006-07-28 09:22:34 · answer #11 · answered by billyandgaby 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋