Would you bother planning a wedding if you(the bride) were going to have to pay for everything?

Question

My future husband does the best that he can. He lives and works in London where it's crazy expensive. Once his visa goes thru, it'll 3mos til the work permit is issued, so in that time, he won't be able to work. Any money he puts away now is going to be used to pay his student loan payment while he's over here and out of work(cuz i can't afford it). We're even going without seeing each other to save money. So any wedding i have, will be paid for solely by me. That doesnt' seem very special to me...should i bother?

Oh and i forgot to mention, we have to get married right when he gets here so that we can apply for the work permit and permanent residency(so it's not longer then 3mos hes out of work) so if i don't do a wedding right off, we just have to go to city hall and sign papers.
But i dont' want to wait and do a wedding later after we're already technically married cuz by then there will always be a better use for a chunk of money then blowing it on one day that's not even official.

Answer 1

You don't necessarily have to have a big wedding. You can elope or have a wedding elsewhere. That's what we're doing. We're going away to Hawaii or some other nice and warm place to get married. Whoever wants to join us are welcomed to do it. It's easier that way. Both of us didn't want to throw in so much money for a one day party. Personally, we both think that it's such a huge waste of money to do a big wedding. We'd rather put the money towards a vacation and a wedding that will last a week at least.

You should go with what your heart says. If you want a big wedding, perhaps delay it to get more, otherwise, look at other options. I'd be happy simply by signing the papers and knowing that we're married.

Answer 2

If I was you I would just organise something very simply, just you your husband to be and witnesses. Whats the point of starting a marriage in huge debt and angry that the burden fell on you? Everyone says "its the brides big day", if you, the bride, dont care about that then just have a basic ceremony. I think in the UK it is actually possible to get married for about £100 and if you are unemployed then part of the fee is actually payed for you. Save on the wedding and then put your money into something that will last for your future, like a house or other investment.
You could of course get married now in a simple way and then on your first or second wedding anniversary when you are both on you feet and not so worried about money have a big white wedding to celebrate. That way you get to have the best of both worlds.

Answer 3

I don't understand your question. Are you not happy that you and he will be married? Is that what you're saying isn't special? Are you having second thoughts about marrying him?

If, on the other hand, you're referring only to the expense of marriage, then don't plan anything elaborate. You do have to do some planning, though - otherwise, how will you get married? If you can't afford having guests, keep it to a minimum. Get married at the License Bureau. That's probably the least expensive way. After all, it's being married that counts - not how you do it.

Answer 4

Just start planning and saving money. When I started planning my wedding, I had no idea if anyone would help pay for it, because my dad wouldn't give me a straight answer. He ended up paying for half, thank goodness. Is there a reason why your parents or his won't contribute? Also, you can have a great wedding on a budget. We did it with $6,500, but it can be done for even less than that.

Answer 5

I probably wouldn't. I would opt for a destination wedding in this instance, keeping the costs lower. Make sure that if you choose this option, you definitely work to keep costs low, because a lot of destination weddings can end up being more expensive than having one in your hometown. I'd do something like Hawaii, or a beautiful fall wedding in Vermont or Maine.

Answer 6

Does it matter who pays for it? When u get married isnt it both of your money? So what would be the difference now? Unless your getting married just for the visa (please no offense on this it just i know someone who has done just that they dont even live together) if thats the case then i can see your point a little bit better and i would say just go to the courthouse.

Answer 7

Plan something very simple with just your immediate families. If you don't, later on you will wish that you had those memories to cherish versus just going down to the court house and siging some papers.... Not very romantic. But if a wedding isn't that important to you then save your money.... go on a trip insead.

Answer 8

I would plan it. Weddings don't need to be expensive. Look in books and magazines for tips on how to construct a low cost wedding. One suggestion is, I know society says that you need that "perfect dress" and "perfect hair" and "perfect location". If you find a nice park, you can find people even friends who will give their dress willingly, and you can find hair styles that don't need to be done by a perosn. I would say start planning the wedding. Just remember to budget.

Answer 9

i would say just get married at the court house it will run like $25 or less for the liciense and $25 to get married at the court house it is cheap and later on you can get remarried and have the wedding you both want after he finds a job

Answer 10

I would go ahead and try to get some planning done now. Maybe just extend the date out more so that he can get on his feet and help. Putting it all on you do to the circumstances would not be fair and you may end up feeling a little resentful.