Stay, go or take a break?

Question

I am 8 months pregnant with my first child and my fiancee and I are about to break up. We are both in college-his 5th year and my 1st quarter and he has two other kids. The reason we are about to break up is that we fight all the time and after 7 or 8 months of this, I really just can't take it. It's not good for my health or my baby's health. Everyone asks me if I still love him but I really don't know. All I feel is pain and tears. I haven't seen my family in over a month and they live less than 10 miles away but thanks to our financial difficulties and his parents, we don't have a car. I have a work study job and so does he and he also works at Wendy's. He expects me to work there also at 8 months pregnant and I don't know if I can. Everything has become about money...We always seem to need more and yet we have plenty and $2,000 more coming in 10 days.
I want to know...should I stick it out, move back with my parents and forget about college, or rack up more debt by leaving him?

Answer 1

As a guy it's hard for me to say because i've obviously never been 8 months pregnant but here's what I think:

Being pregnant will emotionally put you all over the place. It's no wonder that you are always fighting with your boyfriend, especially if it's over something you don't think you are capable of doing. Not being sure if you love him is only natural under such stresful circumstances so like you said I would take a break from him for the health of you and the baby and make a better call when you are more physically and emmotionally able. No use saying something now that you might regret...

Inevitabley you will have to take some time off from college. There's no question about it. The only question is how long? and will you be able to make it up? If you are able to make it up and you feel like you can juggle motherhood and college then go for it, but I think you will find that your in for a big supprise. Motherhood is tough, sleepless nights, dirty nappies and they are VERY time consuming and that's just the start of it. It's a very stressful time. I just don't think finishing college AT THIS POINT IN TIME will be sucessful. Not because I don't think you will pass, but because I don't think you will get the grades you deserve. I think you could go back later and do so much better!

At the end of the day it's a tough decision because he's the baby's father, you don't know how you feel about him and you don't want to leave him in the lurch. On the other hand if you're unable to finish college with the grades you deserve then you might as well move back in with your parents. I don't think racking up more debt is that big of a deal considerring the circumstances, you'll pay it off somewhere down the track.

So after weighing it all up what I would do is
1. Take a break from him until you've given birth and everything is clearer.
2. Move back in with your parents before you give birth and stay with them for a couple of months after giving birth. (financialy I think your boyfriend will survive for a couple of months).
3. If you choose to stay with him, take the job at Wendy's but tell him that it's ONLY UNTIL college starts up again next year.
4. Resume college, get the grades you deserve and take care of your child.

I don't know how practical my advice is because I'm not in th situation so I don't know the full extent of the circumstances but I hope there is something there that you can use.

Good luck with your pregnancy and college.
I'm sure you will make it through this difficult time.
Take care.

Answer 2

Babies are a gift, but you have to work and fight for it. With that I mean if the relationshiop is not solid, don't build a foundation on it. No child wants to see their parents fight and their mommy crying. Babies put a lot of stress on a relationship, especially the first six months. Money will always be a issue. It seems there are never enough and by the time you feel you have enough - you'r e on your death bed. This is a decision a couple makes together. Only you really know who both of you are. At this age you should know your strengths and weaknesses. By now you should know your love. And don't think a baby crushes a dream or opportunity - it's just more challenging or delayed right now. Sometimes a blessing comes in discuise. What might not make sense now - is a blessing tomorrow. Right now good communication between you and your partner is requiered. An honest discussion. God won't give you something you can't handle. You might be stronger than you think. Even if you guys decide to break up the dad can still help financially and emotionally - just as the father. Just because a door isn't open, doesn't mean the window isn't.

Answer 3

I would stay with him. Talk with him and tell him how you personally feel about this. Pregnancy can cause a bunch of emotions and cause more stress on the mother because of hormones. About working at Wendys at 8 months pregnant, tell him you have to take it easy. You could try being just a cashier there but dont do any heavy lifting or anything that could cause strain on you or the baby. Talk to your parents and your family about this and see what they think. Maybe that might help. But dont ditch college. That will only hurt you. Id get as much done as possible because when you finish college, you will be able to have more money opportunities.

Answer 4

If you still have a good relationship with your parents, just go back to their house. You will need their support now... and when the baby is born, get ready for the change of your life!

Answer 5

specific. this is stupid. . .yet specific. Why no longer? human beings do stupid ingredient for all time. between the biggest stupid issues human beings do is fail to forgive. in case you're "in love" then it is your activity to miss the little issues that circulate incorrect, and supply forgiveness for the large issues that take place. bear in mind, that's forGIVEness, no longer forEARNEDness. You FORGIVE devoid of being asked, and devoid of annoying any action from the different individual -- like an apology. YOU forgive, after which you overlook. the single maximum stupid ingredient a individual can do isn't forgive the single they love. the 2d maximum stupid ingredient is to "shop score", and consistently reminding the guy you adore how badly you have been harm. it quite is a real dating killer! No, they gained't stay in love. in the event that they stay broken up then they'll ultimately locate somebody else, and the affection for the 1st individual gets replaced with love for the 2d individual. the international isn't constrained to "one individual/one love", and there quite isn't any such ingredient as "soul mate". in case you reside broken up then you definately will locate somebody new -ultimately -- and you'd be merely as happy as your have been with the 1st individual. the international does no longer end once you destroy up.

Answer 6

well,i guess youo should just move back with your parents!!

this guy sounds no good and theres no love left amongst you guys anymore....when reality hits,love is always lost!!

instead of complicating things any further for yourself you should get bcak to your parents and try to improve your and your childs future!!

good luck and take care!!

Answer 7

Honey, you need to be around people that really love you and your sweet child. Move back home. Surround your child with people that will adore him/her. Call your family.

Answer 8

im really sorry to hear are going through this, u can get help at local pregnancy centers, if u dont eat they can tell u where to get free food, and help u get housing and also they can provide u with baby stuff, i wish u luck

Answer 9

thats alot on your plate at one time...I say take a break, but don't get a job, right now..its too late..and no good mangager would hire you at 8 monts pregnant, unless they are desperate for help.

Answer 10

pray pray pray. GOd is the only one who can help u decide what u should do. i wish u the best.