At first i wasn't interested in her because she was a little chubby. She told me she is depress and fat. She told me how glad she was that I met her. I felt sorry for her. I was new to the area and anyway, we went on trips which I paid for. After a few trips, I fell for her. I bought her flowers often to show her how much I care for her. and on christmas she bought me a pair of 7 jeans, and makeover my room while I was gone. Of course, we had a nasty fight (my fault though)b4 christmas and we had plan to go to NYC for new year. We did go to NYC. Our relationship never involved sex, i have asked her if she just want to cuddle and she resisted. My feeling is that she never had feelings for me. I feel used. I have called her 5-6 times last week and she only returned my call on twice after two days later. Since then I haven't call her and she hasn't gone online. My female friend told me that she is using me. Should I call her knowing she is going thru depression.
2006-07-28 01:26:56 · 19 answers · asked by THX_4_answering 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We're both in our mid twenties. She used to be my roommate. At this point, I am moving on;however, at the same time, I think she has some major problems and I want to remind her that I care and I am there for her---i told her that. She came from a conserve Indian family and she is not like her family. She moved out of her house because of her parents forcing her to get marry(pre arrangement deal). I know she also has financial problems because she is driving a unregistered car, hasn't paid her citations, etc. She doesn't tell me these things. I know she is embarassed about these things.
I feel that by taking her on trips will let her mind think about other things. Thanks for the reply guys/gals. So far so good.
2006-07-28 02:04:04 · update #1
this is EXACTLY what happened to my bf with his previous. and then he got dumped and got depressed. wtff. but if you follow along this story line and found someone as wonderful as me then its all for the better! haha.
but to be neutral, you should think about what sparked her sudden cold attitude towards you. was it the fight? or the cuddle?
please dont feel used if you actually fell for her. now you just have to figure out if 1) you want a future with her or 2) you would like to end this relationship.
1) then you have to send her a clear message, letter, to tell her that you would still like to be with her, and are really unsure what you did that upsetted her. then let her know nicely that you will like to ask her out for a nice dinner a week later just to talk and that in the mean time she should take good care of herself and nice stuff about how you feel about her. a bunch of her fav flowers should go nicely with the letter.
2) let her know your decision nicely, then forget about this girl and take a good long break, meet other people, and get on with your good life.
dont let your feeling used or her depression rub off on you. and it doesnt matter if you are too nice or what nots. it just matters if you know what you want and you are happy doing whatever with what you have.
take good care.
2006-07-28 01:52:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
That's very complicated. Are you making things complicated or just her?
If she's depressed, being glad to meet you and not, getting mad at you and happy about you, then she is bringing a lot of trouble into your life. You might be adding to it -- you buy her flowers and pay for things, then you bring it up here to complain she's using you. She says she's glad to meet you, cleans your room (which the way you describe is a clear sign she's interested in you), then has a problem with cuddling.
How old are you two? If you're past high school, maybe past junior high, then any couple that is ready to do that for each other can at least cuddle. If she's resisting and you're worried it sounds like there are some major hang-ups. I can't tell you what to do, except just be yourself and do what you think is right. She is obviously having some troubles. Don't let that cloud your understanding of life.
It is a sad fact, but you usually cannot help someone who is depressed. You can be there for them, you can be kind, but they have to get over their own depression. Depressed people strike out in all kinds of ways that can be destructive. Be confident in who you are, and stand by her without letting her overwhelm you.
2006-07-28 08:36:25 · answer #2 · answered by Monso Orda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
YES, you are too nice, and yes, she is using you. The best thing you can do, if you really want to repair any of the damage you've done to this relationship, is to stop letting your world revolve around her man. Don't call her again until after she apologizes to you, and not before. Oh, and for love of God, don't be a wussy boy by calling any girl that much in a week ever again.
Move on and start talking to new girls. I know you don't want to hear that because you know she's sad and you still have feelings for her. Well how well has being a nice guy, pushover, wussy boy worked so far? Yeah... Take my advice and you'll be glad you did.
2006-07-28 08:29:21 · answer #3 · answered by Axel 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Back off. Send her an email and tell her when she is ready to call, you are there. Be careful, because she may be using you. In the meantime, go about your business and make yourself happy. By the time she calls, you may have found another female friend you like alot better. Good Luck.
2006-07-28 08:30:37 · answer #4 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes ,I think you should call her. If she is going through a depression, you should try to help. Maybe she feels like she isn't good enough for you. I would try to call or go see her and try to get her to talk to you. I think you are being very nice, but I think too, that she needs someone to talk to.
2006-07-28 08:38:02 · answer #5 · answered by doglady 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she was using you. Obviously, there wasn't anything sexual between you two, but she was getting free trips out of it. Classic case of a golddigger. You are better off without her. You need someone who appreciates you and your company. Not how much money you spend and where you take them.
2006-07-28 08:31:17 · answer #6 · answered by jagerchick80 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Simply leave a message as to how you really feel via card/e-mail/telephone and then simply move on - Women Luv sincere men if they're a sincere woman
2006-07-28 08:30:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just move on. It's called the "no call break-up." Just stop calling her,messaging her etc. If she doesn't call you, then she is not interested. Meet someone you are attracted to and who is attracted to you and you will feel better about yourself.
2006-07-28 08:38:45 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it might be that she is really depressed and thats why she does not call you, try to call her one more time, hope you two can talk to each other....if you like each other then one fight is not the reason for giving up a relationship!!!
2006-07-28 08:32:04 · answer #9 · answered by VeronicaB 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is going through something don't known if it's depression or not but stop trying to he her hero put all that niceness toward someone who would be glad to have you
2006-07-28 08:32:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋