If God exists, why won't he stop me from killing myself?

Question

I'm a recovering alcoholic suffering from hopeless depression that I'm certain will only lead me back to a drink. Faith in god is the only thing that has kept me sober for the short time that I have been, but I have yet to experience even a minute of happiness.

I've decided that I want to end this pain forever, as I have no hope for a happy future. I have prayed and pettioned god to put just one single human being in my life, if for no other reason than to just sit next to me for a little while, but god has not seen me worthy enough to do this for.

I am going to wait until saturday, which will be the one year annivesary of the day my ex-girlfriend left, which is also her sober anniversary.

IF god loves me do you think he will put another person in my life between now and saturday so that I don't have to hang myself?

I'm 45, bankrupt, cannot afford any type of medical care whatsoever, and I am placing this circumstance in the hands of god.

Why does god want me so lonely

Answer 1

maybe u just lost a little faith in yr life,but know that u not alone,what missing here is that u don't love yr self enough ,take a first step by realising that u come a long way across all situations take a moment look at yr self appriciate yrself more,know that u can do better.

Answer 2

well you ain't dead yet. Besides you sound quite selfish in your expectations of what God should do for you.
There are people in the world in far worst straits than you through no fault of their own and they can love and appreciate God. Stop blaming God and get treatment after all God can help you but you must be prepared to help yourself also and the bible gives sound reassurances that God is with those who call on him in sincerity. You just type a load of, uhhhuhhh God why me? instead of saying why am I doing this to myself?
You are not so special on this Earth that only you can't recover and make a new good life for yourself, stop blubbering and take action and do something positive and upbuilding that will pull you out of the hole and back on your 2 feet and make a life for yourself.
So you have no money - money is not a reason for living. Heck I been penniless and so has many people been bankrupt, get yourself together and get a girlfriend. God is not your personal matchmaker and you need to grow up a bit.
See some counselling and take advice given if you wish to ignore help then maybe you just don't want to know what God tells you also.

Answer 3

Ok - here we go. I answered you yesterday and you didn't like my answer. I am 48 years old - I have a granddaughter - I've worked since I was 12 years old. I've had cancer. I have no health insurance and way way late for check ups. My oldest son (26) is a heroin addict and stole everything from us. We not only lost our home but ALSO filed bankruptcy. We have no credit and no one to borrow from. We owe the IRS money. We've had a major job loss in recent months. We've been so close to living on the street that you can't imagine and I have a son not yet out of high school. You are trying to give God a time period when to "fix" you and that is not the way life goes. You are begging for someone to sit next to you and someone is probably there under your nose and you aren't paying attention. If you believe in God like you say you do, then you KNOW you are not alone there. You are not the only person out there with problems. I have an idea that may help you out. I hope it does. Why don't you reach out to try and help other people instead of whining about all this stuff? Sometimes when we help other people out instead of sitting around waiting for someone to help us out like you are doing right now, it will help you. Try it. You sound so stuck on this ex-girlfriend of yours and it's been a whole year??? You should be moving on --- do you go out and meet people or ANYTHING???

Answer 4

It's quite a serious issue that your dealing with here. You might feel lonely, but you're never alone. Have you tried speaking to a priest yet, i do believe that he'll be the one to give you your answers about God, as for killing yourself, I'm not gonna tell you it's the cowards way out, cause i actually think that it takes a lot of guts to think about something like that. A piece of advice, read the last Book in the Bible before Saturday and hopefully that will force you to rethink your suicide plan. Always remember that when your down, walk down to your local park and just look at the children playing, it always puts a smile on my face, hopefully it will do the same for you and remember 1 step at a time, you've got to crawl before you can walk, i know it's difficult, but be strong and keep your chin up. I do believe that your life will take a turn for the better soon but you've got to play your part in turning it around my friend.

I'll be praying for you.
Schuan

Answer 5

You have something called "Free will" meaning that you control your decisions. The only person to help you is and will be yourself. You make yourself out to be pitied, "Oh look at my terrible life." The only person that's able to change it is you. I've been there and got the t-shirt, cap and scars.

If you're expecting God to intervine, well, he probably has already, and you didn't even notice. He's probably done so on several occasions, and you didn't notice that either.

If you were intent on killing yourself, you would not have asked the question. So, generate the nerve to help yourself and get on with living. Nobody promised you a great life, money, career or love. These are things you must do for yourself. So start doing.

Answer 6

WOW! What a question to find first thing in the morning.. I'm going to give you answers from different viewpoints: a past Christian, a child of alcoholic parents, and as a human. :) The Bible teaches that God doesn't step in because he works thru free will. He isn't going to MAKE us come to him or make choices; he wants us to come to him, to choose the right path. So my advice on that would be to sit and pray. Pray bunches, ask him to come into your heart and to help you get thru this rough time. As a teen, i remember my mother going thru the same thought process. She would do well and then have a drinking binge. I would hear her desperate cries and it hurt me so bad to hear. She never lost faith tho. And she has been sober now for about 8 years. I think all the negative feelings you have right now are added to by your strong desire to drink. The only thing I can tell you is that all human life is worthy; "miracles" may not come in the ways we want or expect, so you have to be open minded and eally listen and watch. You are more than welcome to email me; I will do my best to give encouragement and support. Hope that your day improves even a small bit. :)

Answer 7

Hey Bill,
I don't believe it is God who is responsible for your loneliness...I also am a person who has dealt with alcoholism and depression. I have been sober now for a few years and it hasn't been easy. The alcohol sure numbs the pain and feelings...but that is part of life...feeling the good and the bad.
I also have no health care but I am a few years older. 54...and I am a woman. I am sorry your last girlfriend has left the situation but if they leave when the going gets tough was it meant to be? Your faith has kept you sober...hang in here please! I am also bankrupt due to my health issues...the small ammount of credit I had been able to build was shattered when I had to live on credit cards trying to keep from being homeless. I have no family that cares really what happens to me unless they need me! How about you? Do you have family? Do you have a particular church you attend? I haven't attended a church in many years but I am a very spiritual person so I haven't felt the need to do that. I have found the people there very judgemental and invasive of my life. So I pray and worship Him in my own way...daily. I too put it in his hands when this started...He hasn't let me down yet.
I am single and alone too so I know what the loneliness feels like...I just got tired of playing the games most play and all the drama that comes with it. Please try to reach out to someone there where you live...you know there is still good in the world.
I do believe in prophecy and with the global situation deteriorating as it is now it only reenforces that. I also have thought suicide would be the way to go...I hate being a drain on my son who is here for me and his family...he has so much on his shoulders already!! I know he would be the one to suffer if I did commit suicide...and my grand children...I have 3.
Do you know who I think is responsible for your loneliness and depression...Satan...he is the man in charge of this Earth...and each day he grows stronger!!! You have taken a really good step in coming to this place and trying to reach out for help! That is the first step and often the hardest!!! Please take the other step of trying to access someone in your town that can talk with you and maybe steer you in the direction of some resources that may help you. There are some still out there...you just have to look to find them. Are you working??? I am currently unemployed and not able to find anything for almost 4 months now...still hanging in here though.
Believe it or not there are really still GOOD people out there...they are just a little harder to find. Good luck and may God Bless you and send a guardian angel to lift you up when you are tired. Hope that this has helped some what!!! If you feel like writing...sometimes I find this helps me...just open up a blank document and start...or on MSN they have many groups that have good people in them...check for one that fits your needs. I belong to a couple that are mainly for Fibro and Depression.
God Bless!
Trudy:-{

Answer 8

First of all, I am a Christian and it sounds like you are not! Sorry, but if you really put your faith and trust in God you would not be wallowing in self-doubt, self-pity and hopelessness. God has saved those who believe and trust His promises of eternal life and salvation. This gives us hope in our future and a sense of purpose. Please pull yourself up and read Romans 8:28 which could show you that God has a purpose for your life. Also, read Romans 7:14-25. You can get a clear understanding of what sin is all about and how it can wreak havoc on a spiritual soul. Remember, God does not want you to suffer, it is a condition of our world once sin entered. God wants you to keep focused on Him and not your suffering. Ask God for the strength and wisdom to get you through your addiction and help others in the same struggle. God bless you.

I have a brother who is an alcoholic and have not seen him for 5 years. I know what a grip it can have on your life. Please do not kill yourself as you will be turning your back on God and going to hell with the devil.

Answer 9

Wow, your story sounds so familiar. My father is a depressed recovering alcoholic. He also has only been sober for a short time.

Several years ago, my mother started seeing another man, this destroyed my (step) father. He lost his job, home and family all in the same month.

When all this began, he started drinking. He thought she took everything away from him. Therefore, he moved and a short time after that he lost his job, house, friends, car, and he was so hurt and depressed that he pushed everyone away so in turn he thought he lost his family too.

Anyway, he started living on the streets. He had no money, and no place to sleep, not even a car. We lost contact with him for a while. All this went on for about 11 years. Then one day he called and that’s when I couldn’t and wouldn’t listen to his excuses anymore. We all get hurt in life but we can’t let others get us down like my mother did to him.

I wasn’t trying to hurt him or push him away but he was hurting me and my brother (his biological child) so that’s when I decided, tough love. I told him its time to take back his life. I know for him it was hard but I assured him we would walk with him through this.

He has a house now, has income, and most of all he has his children back in his life. He is still depressed but he’s not drinking. He tells me all the time that he wishes God will send someone to share his lonely days with but he wants it right now and he has to understand when God feels he is ready he will send someone his way.

Have you ever heard that saying “what doesn’t kill us, makes us stronger”? Well, from experience of dealing with alcoholism, It seems as though you have already came along way. Why give up now? You have beaten this disease, even if only for a short time now, but you are taking back control of your life. Please just give it time.

If you want God to hear you, then you need to hear him. Maybe God doesn’t feel that your recovery is strong enough yet. Ask yourself this, if you found someone and you got hurt, could you deal with it, without a drink? So maybe he is just waiting for you to become a stronger person.

Please just give it time.

Answer 10

According to the reading I have done regarding hypoglycemia (low blood sugar), the brain, when it senses that blood sugar is low, will do sometimes strange things to get the blood sugar (glucose) out of storage and into the blood stream. Adrenaline is one sure way to do this. If thinking of killing yourself causes you to get an adrenaline spurt, then low blood sugar is probably the cause. It is the most likely cause for your depression, and possibly for your former alcoholism.

Suggestion? Go to the kitchen, now, and get some protein, meat, a can of tuna (salmon is better) or whatever, and eat it. Also have some carbohydrate, like a handful of chips, an apple, or some carrots/celery, and also some nuts or peanut butter. Eat at least 2 ounces of the protein. Then drink a glass of water and do something active, like singing, or exercising for 30 minutes. You may find your mood has lessened a bit. Repeat between each meal. Eat a similar mix of protein (but 3-4 ounces of protein) at each meal. Do this at each meal and between meals today and tomorrow.

Chronic low blood sugar can also cause self-esteem problems, anger management problems and a whole bunch of other physical and mental nasties. You may want to check out the symptoms link on www.hufa.org, and see how you check out.

I can't cure your loneliness, but I have just "sat" beside you and listened. I ask that you try the eating thing for one day.

And how do you know that God didn't "direct" me to answer your question this way. I felt his "push" to start the organization noted below.

Answer 11

Look you need to help yourself, call your sponsor to talk with. Go to the local clinic to apply for medical help so you could see a doctor get a check up and let he or she decide if you need a med for depression. Forget the ex, it's been a year get out there and talk with people.You are not alone, many people have sad and hard lives. Just look at the news everyday and you will see it and hear it. When God wants you to come home, he knows where to find you. Turn your life around till then and start living.