i been living in london since 10 years. now v r planning to go back our country..to live with my in-laws .but problem is that i dont have habit to live with so many people it will be very difficult to adjust with them, they have there own rules in house which i dont like ...and my husband want to stay with them ...i dont understand wht to do?my husband want me to be with them all the time ..look after them..but my in-laws are not that old..they can do every thing by there own..still they want us to be together.
i am so worried how will i face problem.suggesstions pl..
thanx
2006-07-28 00:45:23 · 16 answers · asked by gul 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Why don't you communicate this to your spouse. What on earth are you doing living with family anyway. Your husband should be providing you a place of your own to live in.
2006-07-28 00:48:12 · answer #1 · answered by aunt_beeaa 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
u sound like u r an african.
anyway the extended unit allows family living togather in a BIG compound but that will be in the villages, its sort of a communial setting and it was good back in the days when a whole city could fenced... u know what i mean...
but for someone who has lived the western life for 10yrs it could be quite a departure. ur husband must b a very traditional man to ask this of u, and u must b a sort of submissive person too. (congrats for that quality). dont u work? how have ur inlaws been coping these years without ur "help".
do u hv kids, r they schooling?, will this move b progressive 4 them etc these r some issues 2 consider.
Now u seem 2 b more worried abt adjusting. well u will after some time otherwise u can discuss with ur hubby and perhaps see eye to eye.
R u christian or muslim? u could invite ur pastor if its such a serious matter, or someone u both respect and value their time tested opinion on issues...
the very best.
2006-07-28 03:35:58 · answer #2 · answered by lifejourney 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to express your feelings and your concern with your husband. I understand certain cultural expectations, but if you have been living your lives on your own, you can't expect to just accept a new life, let alone with your in-laws! Talk to him. Make a plan before you go. Good luck!
2006-07-28 00:56:39 · answer #3 · answered by viclyn 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try not to worry too much. Talk to your husband and tell him exactly how you feel without getting angry. This living arrangement won't be forever so try and make some positive plans to find your own accomodation and remember they won't be used to having you there either so they may be feeling the same. Be patient, everything always works out for the best. Trust me xxx
2006-07-28 00:52:42 · answer #4 · answered by Elmo 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is he the only son? Is he having any special reasons? Hv a heart to heart chat - be open! Relationship works best with a little of give and take every now and then.. If this is what he hope for, at least try your best to accommodate and if there's really some problems, then resolve as it comes.... It may not be as bad as you think?
2006-07-28 00:52:02 · answer #5 · answered by darla 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello!!! What are you doing letting someone else tell you what to do. It's your life not your husbands! Live your life the way you want to live it and not how someone else thinks you should be living it! People used to tell me what to do, then I lost my parents and all of a sudden I woke up to myself and put my foot down. I lost a few friends doing it but that just tells me that they weren't true friends. I am alot happier with my life now, purely because I do what I want to do, when I want to do it. Life's too short so don't be miserable!!
2006-07-28 00:55:55 · answer #6 · answered by sarah k 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try and talk to your husband that you want to be independant of in-laws and get your own house ,theres no need to be living in day and age with in-laws . Good luck
2006-07-28 00:57:12 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sounds like a cultural thing for your husbands family. Have you told him how you feel? Is it possible for you to get a home near your inlaws so you can get a break now and then? Be up front with your husband and his family. Be honest and kind and they will respect you for this.
2006-07-28 00:50:16 · answer #8 · answered by Sassy OLD Broad 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is a married man now and needs to cut the apron strings from mommy and daddy. Tell him no and if he can't be acceptive of that, let mommy and daddy have their baby boy back.
2006-07-28 01:03:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well,there is no problem as of now,y r u creating one by thinking negative about it already!!
do think u'll hv a problem,m sure u r matured enough of handle things if there sought to arise....alway remember to confide in your husband,specially when it comes to in-laws,dont take s*** from them at any point,confront them if reqd n make sure they dont look at u as weak!!be confident n m sure you'll come thru!!
2006-07-28 01:41:01 · answer #10 · answered by country_girl 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋