family advice?

Question

i turned my brother in for child sexual abuse of his step daughter and he got away with it i know he did it form personal experience . anyway there has been tension since and i havent seen him... dont want to see him . there is a family reunin sunday he will be there should i go or not

Answer 1

GO. Not going makes a statement to the rest of your family that you are hiding from them because what you did was wrong and that you have something to be ashamed of. Your brother may also feel that he has "won" if he shows up and you don't.
You did the right thing and should be proud that you had the guts to put yourself in a situation that could end up being so hard on you all for the sake of a child. Many people would deny that he'd do it and turn a blind eye just so they wouldn't cuase family issues. Anyone in your family who thinks that what you did is wrong (i'm assuming there are people who are taking his side, most people don't want to believe a family member could do something like this) should have to live 5 minutes in that little girls shoes and see how it feels to be molested, or in your shoes for that matter.
Going makes the statement that you believe in what you did and stand by your decision.
If your brother says anything to you to cuase trouble, do your best to hold your toungue. Instead of yelling, calling him names or accusing him, try to keep your calm and instead twist or turn anything he says in such a way that it makes him look like the ***. ( for example, he says: what the hell are you doing here you lying B***H? You say: (with a giant smile, friendly as possible) I'm visiting with my family, how 'bout you?) Doing so may make anyone who doubts you see who is handling the situation more maturly and may make them realize he's just trying to cover up his horrible actions.
If the topic comes up, let everyone know that you are there to have a good time and you don't want to discuss the matter. If things get too uncomfortable, don't be a martyr, just let them know (calmly!) "you know what, i thought i was still accepted as part of this family, but evidently you still disagree with my decision, maybe i need to leave. I hope sometime soon you can see that i was right and then we can talk more. "
I know it's going to upset you having to see him, but try not to let him see that. Why should you have to give up on the opurtunity to see family members you may not normally see just because your brother is a creep.
Have fun!!!!! And i comend you for being brave enough to stick up for your step neice, i'm sure it was an easy decision, but a tough one all at the same time, good luck:)

Answer 2

Well I personally think you did the right thing. If he is guilty. You should hold your head up high. You were protecting a child. There are so many people today who turn and look the other way and children are getting abused and manipulated everyday. This is your family too. Go to the reunion with a clear conscience, knowing you did what was right. Pray about the rest.

Answer 3

I would go to the reunion just to make my presence known.....You may think he got away with the sexual abuse but you know he didn't. You did the right thing of turning the pervert brother into the authorities.

Hopefully the step-daughter will someday come forward or maybe another person will come forward and put your brother away in the slammer....

Answer 4

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Answer 5

Yes, go there or you will be the bad guy. Try to be a friend to the step daughter, tell her that you are there for her if she needs you.

Maybe next time your brother does something, she will feel she has a friend in you and you can then stop it.

Answer 6

Yes, go ahead and go. Why would you ignore your family for this pervert? If anyone asks why you're not getting along with your brother, tell them the truth. That will make them all aware of his preversion.

Answer 7

Tell him that you will always be there for him because you're family and that's what families do but you won't hessitate to turn him in again because it's for the good of his step-daughter.

Answer 8

First off good going turning him in u did the right thing. Second of all go to that reunion you did nothing wrong he should hide his head not you, keep your head high you deserve too.

Answer 9

do whatever YOU want girl... You have to be yourself and not live around him. What you did is right, and be proud of that... however it is too bad that nothing was done about it.

Become a better person through all this!

Answer 10

Go and talk to each other and try to solve all problems. Family is most important thing, nobody else will help you if you are in trouble.