If God exists, why won't he stop me from killing myself?

Question

I'm a recovering alcoholic suffering from hopeless depression that I'm certain will only lead me back to a drink. Faith in god is the only thing that has kept me sober for the short time that I have been, but I have yet to experience even a minute of happiness.

I've decided that I want to end this pain forever, as I have no hope for a happy future. I have prayed and pettioned god to put just one single human being in my life, if for no other reason than to just sit next to me for a little while, but god has not seen me worthy enough to do this for.

I am going to wait until saturday, which will be the one year annivesary of the day my ex-girlfriend left, which is also her sober anniversary.

IF god loves me do you think he will put another person in my life between now and saturday so that I don't have to hang myself?

I'm 45, bankrupt, cannot afford any type of medical care whatsoever, and I am placing this circumstance in the hands of god.

Why does god want me so lonely

Answer 1

God does not want you to committ suicide. He just gives you free will. I don't want you to committ suicide either.

What have you done to get into a community? God is not going to send people to knock on your door or bump in to you--you have to go to a place where they are assembled. Church is a good choice, but it doesn't have to be. There are all kinds of meetings you can attend or other places you can go for help and assistance. So go there and be humble, ask for help.

That's the first step. The rest are right after that one.

Answer 2

Hi Bill

I Don't think you are seeing God in the proper perspective. She will not force us to be happy. God is not the one punishing you. You punish your self when you make negative or unloving choices. The negativity always causes a painful backlash that is intended to show you that some other choice would be a better idea next time. This is where the sadness is coming from.

This mechanism is self-regulating and built into Gods plan for us. Saying that God is the one doing it is avoiding the truth that we are the ones making the choices that create the negative outcome.

God gives us what ever we want.

If we want something different we need to change our mind about the world we see around us.

When we do God gives us that new world instead.

Each of us gives the world all the meaning that it has for us.

I don't see the world as being lonley although I once did. Now I see a peaceful and loving world. The world has not actually changed. All that has changed is my opinion of it.

There is a way that you can have the happyness and companionship that you seek, but its up to you to make the changes necessary to make it happen.

Love and blessings.
your brother
don

Answer 3

the depression may be what lead you to drink in the first place, and is what keeps you from being happy even though you stopped drinking. you don't need money to get help. go to a help center, explain your hurt and your need to end the hurt. there are organizations that can and will help you. god does give you free will, and you can do whatever you feel lead to do, but that doesn't make it right in the eyes of god. what he offers is strength in spite of any problem. don't turn your back on him, he's hoping you will be strong in your faith, and hoping that your faith will help you overcome the devil's influence on you. you know what else gets me through life? knowing that god loves, and wants the best for me. knowing that what i want at this particular moment may not be what's best for me. knowing too that nothing remains static forever. you might not find a girlfriend for weeks or years, but if you cash yourself out now, how can it ever happen? you never know what's around the corner for you. use that curiousity in what life holds for you help you. please value your life more than you are. someone may need your insight somewhere down the road. i'm praying for you,and i'm sorry you hurt.

Answer 4

To talk about god in this situation is irrelevant. If you really had belief in such a concept, you would not be talking of suicide. Nobody out there is going to help you. This is what it is. This is what is real. Deal with it.

Instead of looking to escape from what is, drop all these hopes and illusions that someone or something is going to help you -and confront reality. Look around the world, there are many people worse off than you. Nobody is helping them. Little children are dying of hunger, war, disease and malnutrition as we discuss our misfortunes. It takes more courage to face reality than to commit suicide.

The very idea of seeking peace and happiness is the agitation that is making you unhappy. The very concept of the self, keeps you separated from the whole. The physical body is not going to really die, it will get recycled in other forms of life. What dies is the self and all its identifications. And for that death suicide is not required. When the quest to seek god, peace, love, etc ceases, the self comes to an end. Because that very quest is the 'you' that you know.

Answer 5

God does not "want" you to be lonely. Sounds like you are blaming all bad things happenning in your life on God.

Do you take responsibility for your own negative actions? Your question sounds related to another topic I have heard: "God is all powerful and all knowing, therefore is responsible for the existence of evil!"

I don't want to sound harsh, but God did not spend all your money. God did not put a drink in your hands for the first time. God has not made all of your life's decisions. YOU HAVE A FREE WILL!!! USE IT!!!

If you CHOOSE to take your own life, that will be YOUR CHOICE, and YOUR DOING, NOT GOD'S!!!

Stop waiting for "god" to do stuff for you, that you are supposed to do for yourself!

Does "god" get you dressed in the morning? Serve you your breakfast? Feed you like an infant? NO? Then stop waiting for "god" to bring people to you.

GO FIND SOME PEOPLE.

Even if you aren't Catholic, you can probably find an open Catholic church today. You can find somebody to talk to. There are, guaranteed, religious services/camps/special concerts in your area. Go to one! Call every minister in your area until you find someone who is willing to talk to you. Go to an AA meeting. Volunteer at a shelter.

You have the power to help yourself. USE IT.

Yahoo answers is a nice forum, but it is anonymous, and therefore "safe". Interpersonal relationships involve f2f conversations, and are risky. This was a start, but only a start. Your next step is to turn off the computer, and talk to some real people! Take turns listening to them as well.

I hope you make the right decision.

Answer 6

One of the most well known pieces of advice goes "God helps those who help themselves."
Don't blindly flounder around waiting and hoping that some divine power is going to magically lift you up by your bootstraps and set you up. (It would be a sorry world indeed if everyone acted like that.) The one person that has the power to help you is you. You've got the strength and the ability, but you have to reach deep inside you and bring those excellent qualities to the surface. I really have faith that you can do this. Just remember that true enlightenment comes from within. Be strong and take the time to see the beauty that happens to be around you everyday. When you can truly see, you will be truly happy.

Answer 7

God gives you free will to do what you want.

So please make sure your insurance is up to date and leave it to me. If you decide to change your mind, why not give human relationships a break and get a pet and a hobby. You are not done healing and being in a relationship right this moment will just end badly because you are so depressed. Who knows, maybe you are so depressed that someone might be right under your nose but you just can't see it.

If you believe in God then why haven't you been to church lately?

Go to church on Sunday and every Sunday after that and see if that helps. In fact, try different ones just for fun.

Answer 8

Do not kill yourself. It's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I'm glad I did not die when I attempted it. Because I would've missed some awsome things,and people, and some happiness. You can get through this... you can get another girlfriend and more money. Donald Trump went bankrupt and he just started over. I'm the person he put in your life between now and Saturday.

Answer 9

God does not want you to be lonely. God also does not want you to kill yourself. He has a plan and a purpose for your life. Sometimes we go through trials and very dark periods in our life. Those are given to us as gifts to make us stronger. Many times we chose to go through dark times also. I cannot tell you that you will ever be happy, but I can tell you that you are loved. God loves you so much that His son died for you. You are hurting now, but if you will trust God and live for Him, one day you may be in exactly the right place to help someone else who is in your same situation. I used to be so depressed that I wanted to die also. God showed me that I was so busy focusing on my own life (kind of selfish) that I was not seeing the blessings that He was trying to give me. I also did not see the way He was using me to bless other people. I would be more than happy to continue talking with you about this over im. Or with email or any method you feel you need to talk with me about this. God has not given up on you, I am asking you not to give up on God. My screen name is bignellmedic on yahoo. you can get my email from my profile. I hope to hear from you and will do my best to be your friend.

Answer 10

Yes, if you truly believe God will do what you ask. But only when He knows you are ready for it. I had the same problem as you. I am an alcoholic. I did recover and got my life back together through God and A.A., but it took time. But it really works if you give it time. Good Luck. Killing yourself is no answer. Hang in there and find people to talk to who have been through what you are going through. I found great people in A.A. who talked to me and saved my life. I believe I was sent there by God.