What if you marry him??? I am a teenager and I can't marry him yet until I get a career in a couple of years. Why is it wrong if we said the marriage vows, to have and to hold in sickness and in health....
Why is it wrong if we said the vows to God?
Why is it wrong just because children might come??
If they do I will marry sooner. I am a virgin so far but I just wondered why
2006-07-27 23:55:06 · 20 answers · asked by smart 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
How is it lack of morality to be with one man???
Marriage is commitment not a piece of paper
2006-07-28 00:05:51 · update #1
Simple. The act of sex binds souls together like two pieces of paper bound by glue. When the glue dries and you try to separate those pieces of paper, the paper tears and parts of each piece of paper are permanently left with the other.
I hate to say this, but you really probably are not going to marry the guy you are with right now. At least, that's what the numbers show. Okay, you could break the rules and this really could be the guy. Wait anyway.
The world tells you "do not wait" and the Bible tells you "wait" -- this is called a "clue" ! Do you want to live in the world or live in the Word?
2006-07-28 01:31:32 · answer #1 · answered by Paul McDonald 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your emotions are telling you one thing, and your gut-level consciounce is telling you another! Don't let your emotions, fickle as they are, distract you from what YOU KNOW is right and wrong.
Your emotions WILL change. Your chemistry WILL change. Your sexual desires WILL change. Your body WILL change.
A real marriage is NOT based on sex! Marriage is a committment, not a contract saying "sex is now ok with this person only". Marriage is good times, bad times, sharing the ups and downs in life, children falling off bicycles, parents dying, waistlines exploding, jobs being lost, moving cities away, your "best friend's" worst betrayal, morgages, rent, laundry, "would you start picking up your dirty socks JUST ONCE!!!". Occaionally, maybe a few nights a week, having the energy to celebrate being married for about half an hour, is one perk. BUT THAT IS NOT THE ONLY REASON TO GET MARRIED!!!
The very fact that you are trying to excuse pre-marital sex with made-up religious ceremonies, shows that you are not really mature enough for a marriage committment. If you were mature enough, it would not even be an issue! You are struggling with lust, not love.
Love can wait for sex. Lust just wants to scratch the itch.
It takes discipline to wait.
Ask some married people you know (especially women) if they were sexually active before they married, and how they feel about it now!
2006-07-28 07:30:57 · answer #2 · answered by MamaBear 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This same exact thing happened to me - my husband and I were both virgins, teenagers, and (new) Christians as well when we "caved in". Premarital sex is wrong because sex was designed for marriage only, and let's face it, it DOESN'T always work out that you marry the dude (I was blessed). My advice is to hold out because I definitely felt guilty after I did it - you can never get that status back of obeying God in this aspect once you lose it.
You can marry him NOW if you really love each other that genuinely, but you have to assess if you're both mature and intelligent enough to do so and have a plan. Saying fake vows is not a "get-out-of-virginity-free" card; they don't mean much because they're not official. You still have the option of backing out, and when you get married for real, God wants it to be an unbreakable covenant.
And in terms of children! You think you're really ready to have a kid?! My spouse and I have been married for two years, and I'm still horrified by the possibility because we are not financially, spiritually, relationally, etc., etc. ready to have a child.
Try thinking outside the anxiety box, pray to God, and be smart! If your man is right with God, he should have no problem waiting with you.
2006-07-28 07:45:26 · answer #3 · answered by bingwitharing 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It really boils down to commitment. If your not married and get pregnant the guys takes off. Too bad so sad. If your married at least you will have a legal right for something for your child. Your child has to come first, plus do you deserve to be treated as a play thing. The truth is that it is all up to you. Just remember that your actions will have consequences that you will have to live with for the rest of your life.
2006-07-28 07:06:38 · answer #4 · answered by rastus7742 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Premarital sex in itself is wrong and forbidden in the Word of God. Sex is only design to be consummated after marriage. If you are a teenager and you have dreams to have a career go for it. You cannot pursue this dreams if you will get married at an early age. Marriage can wait. Don't rush. Enjoy your teenage life and I tell you, you will not regret. I pray that God will give you the wisdom that you needed,the courage to pursue your dreams and strenght from God to flee from youthful lust and temptations.
2006-07-28 07:19:10 · answer #5 · answered by Jeth L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure you are a very responsible person, but that's just the way things are. I had a friend in school who was engaged and got pregnant. She was still a year under age, but luckly for her she just needed one more year to get married. My personal belief is that having sex is taking the excpression "become one flesh" literally. If you really love this guy enough to do that, I would think you would marry him and take the responsibility or just wait. It can cause emotional trauma to people to literally become one flesh then tear eachother apart.
2006-07-28 07:22:14 · answer #6 · answered by Cyber 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
All your ideas about committtment are very noble and correct. If you make your vows to one another and before God you lack only one thing that a true (legal) wedding ceremony offers, witnesses.
You are correct that a piece of paper means nothing (except to a divorce attorney!). It is the committment that makes the bond.
2006-07-28 07:14:11 · answer #7 · answered by i_m_the_1_u_luv 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It been taught to us that it is wrong because so many bad things can happen so God made it a rule to keep our lives drama free.
Just to give you a heads up, it sounds like your guy is blowing a lot of smoke up your butt (vows to God - come on) to have sex with you so be careful and were condoms and take birth control.
2006-07-28 07:09:05 · answer #8 · answered by jen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's wrong because the power of Christianity comes from having control over people and being the judge of what the can or can't do.
2006-07-28 06:59:27 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not you have sex is up to you. It's perfectly okay if that's what you want.
However, please use a condom.
Sounds to me like maybe you'd like to 'accidentally' get pregnant so you 'have' to get married. That would be a big mistake.
If he really loves you it will last for a few years. If he doesn't it's better you don't bring a new baby into the world which could ruin your future.
2006-07-28 07:30:36 · answer #10 · answered by yadayada 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋