Lost my mum 5 years ago, and still dont think i have moved on.How do you get through grief? Any advice welcome

Question

Im irrational all the time, and keep blaming other people in different ways, probrably because i cant find a way through it..........

muffin shut up you fookin no*b

Answer 1

I lost my mum 9 years ago. You'll always miss her. First, just accept that. Then, remember that even if you can't hear her, she can hear you. Talk to her. There's a part of her that's inside you, and if you talk to her, sometimes that part of her that lives on in you will talk back. I speak to my mom all the time, and I often hear what she has to say (always in the words she used when she was here). To feel lost or even angry sometimes is normal, particularly if she died fairly young, like my mother. You know, it's not like our moms ran away and abandoned us. It's not that they wanted to leave. It was just their time. And let's say for a moment that someone is reading this whose mom committed suicide. When a person is suffering from really bad depression, then they're not thinking clearly, and can't really make sound or rational decisions because their judgement skills are affected by mental illness. So even if that were the case, you have to realize that if she WEREN'T ill, if her judgement weren't affected by her illness, it's not a thing she would have done. Forgive your mom for leaving .. and then talk to her. I'm sure she's listening, wherever she is.

Answer 2

I would actually suggest some counseling to help you get through your grief, but if that's not an option...

You just need to remember that your mom cares about you and loves you very much, whether she is physically there with you or not. When you lash out at others, it is probably because you are afraid of losing another person that you care for. Something to think about: would your mom want you to be treating others this way? Probably not... It's ok to still be sad about losing your mom, she was and is a very important influence in your life. You just need to find a way to remember her and feel better about the loss, without hurting the ones around you who care about you.

hope this helps.

Answer 3

I know how u may feel, everyone needs a grieving period, and then life should be able to continue. Its the way we deal with the grieving period that will affect how u move on. If u didnt have it, u need to. I lost My Dad too, though i was a little young, but when i grew up, i started missing him so much and regretting all the days i would have gotten to kow him. I realised that it was bcoz i had not grieved his death n so i decided to write down all the thoughts and things i would have told him i was a little older and after this i felt better. SO my dear, examine urself, the circumstances ur mum died, were u able to talk to her then, if not, write ur feelings on a piece of paper, cry if u feel like, u will find that u will feel better and life should be able to move on.

Answer 4

Hi , sorry for your loss, I lost my mum when she was 48, and I know its very hard to deal with , its a very personal grief ,what i can say is that it will get better over time , even now 12 years later I still shed a tear in my private time. Its good to talk about it with others especially those who have experienced it cause they know where you are coming form. Think about the happy times that you spent with her talk about it with others that you trust. Know that she would want you to be happy without feeling guilty.
Know that she is always around you and you can talk to her in private. Know that life will go on for you and and to grieve is natural don't let it build up in you ,if you feel like if go and have a good cry in private you will feel better after. Just know that your mum would want to live a happy life and experience all the joy you possibly can. Take care keep smiling.

Answer 5

Part of your grief comes from a lack of understanding, or belief in a higher power. Though she is sleeping in the grave, the Bible promises that everyone will be resurrected, so the chances are you will see her again, except she will be young and healthy. You don't need to move on as much as just begin looking forward to that time. Your mother would not want you to center your life on her death, but to take care of yourself, dedicate yourself to some goals. Remember, you now represent the memories of your mother. Stay healthy, because when she returns, you will find yourself hard pressed to keep up with her.

Answer 6

Grief affects different people different ways, depends on the closeness you had with that person and the reasons behind the grief, it's easy to say move on, doing it is another thing entirely, knowing someone is now out of pain and harms way, never be hurt again may help, you will, believe me find your own way, but you haven't let go yet, you never get over losing someone really, but day by day once you have let go will get easier.
Whatever gets you through your days and nights, faith, love whatever it is you have to let go.

Answer 7

I know its hard and hurts a lot but live your life to the full - put a little time aside for her memories every day ie. bed time or first thing in the morning when you can think about her, but try and get through the rest of the day thinking about yourself and the rest of your family - that is the way she would have wanted it . I lost my mum three and a half years ago - you just have to put your life into perspective and enjoy what time you have left .

Answer 8

My dad passed about four months ago and I don't know how we're suppose to get through this. I keep looking at my kids and thinking I have to try and I mean try like nothing else matters just so I can keep a level head and be here for them. My maternal grandmother passed away in 1987 and my mother still gets real depressed every May for my grandmothers birthday. You just got to keep going because you know thats what your mum would have wanted you to do.

Answer 9

It is a hard thing to get through but you have to move on and not dwell on the past it happens to us all in the end. Try and remember all the good things about your mum, im sure she wouldnt want you to still be grieving years later remembering but not grieving .You should always think about her...but positively.

I know how you feel my cousin was 18 and killed in a car crash that was 8 years ago it hurts but he would have wanted us all to move on and not dwell.

Life goes on and you will get through the pain will lessen keep yourself busy and take care

Answer 10

I lost my father this year, what works for me is that while he was alive I treated him in way I would have no regrets when he was gone. I miss not being able to call him on the way home. Just move on, there is a time to grieve and honor the dead but you must live your own life.